Captive
by TamSibling
Summary: Begins "the morning after" on New Caprica. What if Lee had reacted differently? What if everything had turned out differently? Early chapters will be PG to PG-13, but we will be heading into NC-17 territory. Kara:Lee
1. Chapter 1

Title: Captive – Chapter 1 (Also posted as New Caprica as part of the "Lee Steps Up" series)

Pairing: Kara/Lee

Rating: PG-13

Summary: What if Lee had pursued Kara the morning after they shouted their love to the sky? What if he'd challenged her marriage to Sam?

Disclaimer: It's not mine, it will never be mine.

A/N: This chapter is exactly the same as "New Caprica," so if you read that as part of the Lee Steps Up Series, there's really no reason to read it again (unless you just want to). You can continue on to Chapter 2 directly.

I really hope you like this … really, I do. Leave me comments!

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The Morning After the Groundbreaking Ceremony

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For a split second, Lee could barely breathe. His father's words had seemingly punctured a lung and Lee stood there desperately trying to draw breath. This wasn't happening.

It wasn't.

But then there she was, smiling and laughing and walking arm in arm with _him_. Lee wanted to vomit. He wanted to kill her. The violent thought took up residence in his brain and he thought of beating her face into a bloody pulp. Thought of ways to make her feel as much pain as he did right now.

He stalked across the open space toward them. He knew the second Kara caught sight of him. Her whole body stiffened and she actually turned into Sam, as if he could protect her. As if anything could keep her safe from the rage Lee felt pounding in his blood.

"Hey there, Apollo." His voice dug into Lee like that frakkin' sand he'd slept on all night. He could feel the little pits in his back from where the grains had scratched him, embedded into his skin by the rocking motion of Kara's body over his.

Anger again white hot, Lee barely growled a greeting in the man's direction before taking Kara forcibly by the elbow and dragging her away.

"Hey!"

Sam's outraged cry was cut off as Lee saw Kara give him a small shake of her head. Well, it was obvious who wore the pants in that relationship.

He had no idea where he was going, but he didn't stop until they had left the small tent city in their wake and he was sure they wouldn't be overheard. There was a small stand of trees, pale, sickly things to one side, and Lee shoved her behind one, chest heaving with unrestrained rage.

As he fought to form words, he watched Kara. She was staring at the ground, toeing her boot in the gravel, looking anywhere but at him. It made him angrier.

Pushing her back against the nearest tree trunk, he trapped her there with his hands on her shoulders and hissed, "What the frak?"

She didn't even flinch. No, she just raised her eyes to his face and shrugged. "Aren't you going to congratulate me?" Her voice was even, betraying no emotion and Lee found his grip on her shoulders tightening. "I got married."

"After you slept with _me_," he reminded her, stepping closer until his body and hers were in full contact from knee to chest. "After you said you loved me. So I'll ask again. What. The frak?"

She actually rolled her eyes, a gesture so reminiscent of Starbuck it made him want to punch her more. With clear disdain, she said, "It was just sex, Lee. Gods, don't get all girly about it."

He squeezed her shoulders so tight he knew she'd have bruises. Good; Sam should know he wasn't the only man with claim to Kara Thrace. "Bullshit," he bit out, eyes searching hers. "Last night was more than just sex." Lowering his voice, he tried to push down some of his anger. Being this close to her, feeling her skin beneath his hands reminded him of everything they'd done and said in the last twelve hours. Despite his anger, his desire for her would not abate. "You said you loved me, Kara. You shouted it to the sky."

Her face became a smooth mask, her eyes empty as she looked up at him and said evenly, "I take it back."

And Lee knew he had her. He knew something more was going on here than Kara being the bitch to beat all bitches. She wouldn't invoke those words—that day—and not know what it would mean to him. "There are no take backs," he reminded her, with a sly grin spreading across his face.

He leaned in and kissed her as she stared at him, uncertain what to say next. His mouth possessed hers hotly, lips and teeth and tongue gliding over hers, plunging in, laying claim. Gods, she was the best thing he had ever kissed and the best frak of his life. Lee knew it had to do with the depth of emotion—with how much they meant to each other. He couldn't shake the memory of how perfect it had been.

He felt her give in, felt the way her hands stopped pushing him away and instead drew him closer. She curled her hand around the back of his head and pulled her body flush to his. He groaned his approval into her mouth, hands trailing to the small of her back and caressing the flesh there. How could she deny this?

And then, it was done. Kara's hands rested on his chest and she shoved him, hard, causing Lee to stumble back, breathless. He stared at her, her kiss-swollen lips, the hint of tears in her eyes and then watched her put Starbuck's façade back into place. Wiping at her mouth as if he'd just violated her, she hissed, "Gods, Lee. What are you doing? I'm married!"

"To the wrong guy!" His shout had nothing to echo off of and later he'd be glad that no one else had heard it. Advancing toward her once more, Lee watched as Kara scurried out from the tree, determined not to be backed into a corner again. "The only person you should have gotten up and married this morning is _me_. And you know it!"

Crossing her arms over her chest in defiance, Kara tilted her chin in challenge. "No," she said firmly. "I love Sam."

The desire to strangle her was back in spades. "I don't accept that," he told her.

She actually smirked now and Lee felt his heart race. "Well, too frakking bad. It's done."

Kara turned to leave as if _they_ were done. No frakking way. This was not over; they would never be over. He caught up to her in three steps and grabbed her elbow, whirling her around to face him. She let out a small yelp of surprise, but didn't take a swing, so Lee tightened his grip.

"Have the bands dissolved." It was the only way.

Her eyes widened, mouth agape for a moment as she stared at him. Finally, she breathed, "What?"

Lee saw a hint of something, something that gave him hope and he barreled ahead. "It's not too late. It's only been what? A few hours? Have it annulled, Kara." Gods, what was he doing? Did she really hold this much sway over him? Could Kara Thrace really frak with his heart this badly?

As he looked back into her hazel eyes swimming with fear and uncertainty he had his answer—hell yes. Nuking the rest of his pride, he insisted softly, "Marry me."

She gasped, one hand flying to her mouth as she stared at him wide-eyed. He refused to give her any space, keeping their bodies as close as he could. The hand around her elbow was still tight, but he allowed his thumb to make lazy circles against her skin, remembering the delicious moans of pleasure he could draw from her just by touch. A flare of desire burned in his gut, but he held it back. After she was his, he'd remind her once again of how perfect they could be.

Minutes stretched, the silence taut between them. Lee wanted to press her for an answer, but he knew better than to push. Did Sam know that? Did Sam know that sometimes backing Kara into a corner was the only way to gain any ground? Did Sam know that sometimes giving her space was the only way to win a fight? Did he know the difference, because Lee sure as hell did.

The longer she hesitated, the more hopeful he became. Risking her rejection, Lee took another step closer, using his free hand to cup her cheek. "Kara," he breathed, ready to lean in for another kiss. It would end this, wouldn't it? A melding of lips and then bodies and then Kara would know she'd done a frakkin' stupid thing a few hours ago.

Just before his lips met hers, she shook her head sharply and backed up. Lee was so stunned he didn't even have time to try and grab her.

"No." Her voice was firm, resolute and sad. Lee could hear her anguish.

Sighing heavily, he ducked his head ashamed of the tears he felt in his eyes. Gods damn it! Waiting a beat, he cleared his throat and asked, "Why?"

Kara again crossed her arms over her chest and Lee got the distinct impression it was an act of self-preservation. "I married Sam."

Her voice was cold. Taking courage from that fact, Lee lifted his face to hers and pressed on. "Why?"

She rolled her eyes again, but this time Lee could tell it wasn't from annoyance, but instead to rid herself of traitorous tears. "I love Sam."

There was no love in her voice, there wasn't even affection. "No, you don't." He advanced on her again, more than amazed when she didn't turn tail and run. Instead, she let him get close enough, let him put his hands on her. This time he handled her far more gently, hands resting on her shoulders as he gazed into her shining eyes. "You don't love him, Kara. So tell me why you did this?"

She bit her lower lip, her eyes trapped by his gaze and finally, with a shuddering breath, she waved a hand between them. "Because I can't do _this_."

He stared stunned. She continued. "It's too much, Lee. _We're_ too much." She lifted her eyes back to his face and this time he did see tears there. Trying to hold her, she pulled away from him, not violently, but just enough to tell him this wasn't the time. He let her go, watching as she walked with sagging shoulders a few steps back toward the trees.

After more silence and a heavy sigh, she turned back to him, wiping angrily at her cheeks. "When we fight, it's like the world is going to end," she told him. He could see her struggle to keep her voice even and it made his heart hurt even more. She was killing him.

"Sometimes, I get so angry with you I can barely see straight," she explained, a light smile tugging the corners of her mouth. "And then, there are times, like last night, when you look at me and touch me and kiss me and I feel like I could fly without a frakking plane." Her voice was softer now, and her tears were back, but she let them fall as Lee struggled to hold his at bay.

"And then there are those days when you have a shitty landing or you get clipped by a bogey or some stupid frakker shoots you and I. Want. To. Die." Each word hit him like an arrow, piercing his already sensitive skin and Lee stared in awe as she advanced toward him, eyes full of pain. When they were only inches apart, she stared at him for a moment more and then finally admitted, "I'd rather die, Lee than go through that. I don't want to live life without you."

Lee had never, ever expected to hear something that vulnerable pass through Kara's lips. But he could see the truth to the statement, could tell by the way she had so spectacularly pushed him away this morning, how she had run away from him, from them. It made sense—in the warped mind of Kara Thrace if nowhere else.

But that didn't mean he had to accept it. It didn't mean he was going to.

She was so close he could feel her breath ghosting across his cheek and he had to touch her, to hold her. They could figure this out. He knew they could make it work.

His hand was reaching for her as he murmured, "Kara."

She shook her head sharply and backed away slowly, putting physical distance between them. Each step added another crack to Lee's heart. He felt the pieces falling away.

"No, Lee. I can't do it anymore. I can't live feeling all of that everyday."

He balled his hands into fists once more inspired to take a swing. "So what's the alternative?" he spat out. "Feeling nothing? Leaving Galactica? Marrying Anders?"

She raised her chin slightly and schooled her features. When she spoke there was nothing in her voice that would give anything away. "Yes."

"That's crap." Gods, Lee was going to shake her. Shake her very hard until he dislodged whatever idiotic reasoning had taken hold of her brain.

Kara shrugged and he saw none of the woman before him who had loved him to within an inch of his life the night before. Not even a trace of the girl he loved who had shouted her own affection to the night sky. "It's my life. I made my choice."

"You didn't choose anything." Why was he still fighting? Lee supposed his tenacity was an asset in the cockpit, but at the moment, he wondered if he might just be bordering on pathetic. But if she was determined to make him hurt, then he could do the same. Narrowing his eyes, he stepped forward and accused, "You ran."

He had the sick pleasure of watching her pale, watching her entire body stiffen at the insult. Shaking his head, he went for broke. "I never took you for a coward before, but—"

The sharp sting of her open palm against his cheek startled him. Eyes flashing, he glanced at her, watching her seethe before she simply threw her hands up and backed away.

"Just go, Lee. Please. Don't make this—"

"What?" he demanded. Gods, his cheek hurt. It gave him a bit of a distraction from the frakkin' gaping wound in his chest. "Don't make this hard? Why shouldn't I? Kara, you're killing me."

He had hoped that might reach her, but instead, she sighed and shook her head. "Please, Lee. Let it go." Lifting her eyes to his face, she pleaded, "Let _us_ go."

He had no other words. This was really it; it was over. Less than twelve hours from when it had truly begun Kara had chosen and married another man. In this one moment, Lee wanted to die.

Suddenly wanting nothing more than to never see her again, Lee straightened and stalked back toward the settlement, shoulders back, head held high. As he passed her, he paused for a moment. "This is a mistake and some day you'll see that."

He held her eyes for a second longer and then had to go. He couldn't stay here, couldn't be within her orbit anymore. He was done with Kara Thrace.

As he made his way back to his Raptor, he ignored his father and all but bit Dee's head off. She was trying to reach out to him, but Lee Adama had tasted perfection—and been rejected by it. He wouldn't find solace in the arms of another, even when those arms belonged to a more than willing Dee.

Once the hatch was shut and the pre-flight begun, Lee closed his eyes, doing his damnedest to forget the look of sheer ecstasy on Kara's face last night or the look of sheer despair on her features only a handful of minutes ago.

He did his best to forget the sigh of pleasure she had released as they both came back from the edge or the pained sob of anguish he'd heard as he walked away and left her to her husband.

By the time they docked with the Pegasus, Lee Adama knew he'd never forget any of it.

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	2. Chapter 2

Title: Captive – Chapter 2

Pairing: Lee/Kara (I swear!)

Rating: This chapter, PG, but we will get into NC-17 territory.

Summary: After Kara marries Sam and Lee returns to the Pegasus, things on New Caprica go from bad to worse.

Disclaimer: I do not claim to own these characters or anything related to the show (expect for a pair of Starbuck and Apollo dogtags).

A/N: A few things about my New Caprica universe – there is no fat Apollo. Sorry, but I just couldn't do it. He also doesn't marry Dee, but she's still in the picture, kinda.

I hope you enjoy!

~TamSibling~

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Three Months After the Groundbreaking Ceremony

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Bill Adama rarely ventured off Galactica. Baltar had made a firm stand when he'd settled the colonists on the planet, effectively telling Adama and the rest of the Fleet they were no longer needed. But despite this cold shoulder, he liked to stretch his legs, get out and remind himself why they fought so hard these past few years.

However, he hated the thought of going to New Caprica. The surface was gray and dismal and cold. But as soon as he set foot on the surface, his hatred shifted to thoughts of leaving. Every time he said goodbye to Laura or another of his former crewman, Bill wanted to seize them by the arm and drag them back to Galactica—back home.

They didn't belong on this rock, barely scraping out a living. His pleas to President Baltar had gone unheard and so Bill had stopped making them. But he still visited, still tried to silently remind his people that they would always have a place on board the Galactica. So far, none of them had seen keen to move.

Except maybe one. He suppressed a smile as he rounded the corner of a row of tents and caught sight of his destination. Bill Adama still wasn't convinced that Kara Thrace-Anders, really belonged here. Grounded and away from a cockpit, Bill had been certain he'd be reinstating Kara's flight status within a few weeks. But then she had married Anders and was apparently trying for domesticity.

He wanted to be happy for her, wanted to be pleased that she was settling down, that she seemed happy. But for months the scene that had played out before him the morning of her wedding—the scene where his son, looking utterly devastated, had dragged Kara bodily away—would not let him relax. And, as reports of Lee's darkening mood had increased over the past months, Bill was afraid he knew why he couldn't be happy for Kara.

Because she wasn't really happy. She was _trying_ to be and Bill knew the difference painfully well.

Stepping to the front of her and Anders' tent, he opened his mouth to announce his arrival, as knocking on canvas was fairly useless, and stopped at the sound of raised voices inside.

"It's nothing, Sam. Just the flu."

"It's not the frakkin' flu, Kara. You've been throwing up for weeks. Go get checked out!"

"No, I'm fine."

"Bullshit."

Bill heard the sound of what he knew was a scuffle and when Anders next spoke his voice was low, almost menacing.

"I know it can't be mine, Kara. Caprica and the radiation saw to that. So whose is it? Huh?"

Kara's muffled, "Get off me," was followed by her all but stumbling out of the tent and almost into Bill's waiting arms.

"Admiral." She blinked, glancing up at him and then straightening her clothes. He watched her regain her composure, falling back on Starbuck in her moment of distress. "It's good to see you, sir."

Despite the desire he felt to charge into the tent and remind Sam Anders precisely how he should treat a woman, Bill tamped down the feeling and instead, offered Kara a warm smile. "You resigned, Kara. There's no need for the 'sir.'"

She smiled sheepishly and then threaded her arm through his. "Force of habit?"

He nodded in acceptance and then started walking, her by his side, through the rows of the tent city. The farther they got from her tent, the more relaxed she became and Adama was suddenly very glad he'd come to visit.

"So, how are things?"

He knew it wasn't the subtlest hint, so it was no surprise, when Kara simply shrugged. "Fine. You know, a little hard. It's frakkin' cold here all the time. And the—"

"Kara."

He stopped and faced her, resting light hands to her shoulders and holding her gaze. She glanced at him and then just as quickly looked away as if afraid of what he might see.

"I heard you and Anders arguing." She bit her lower lip, but kept her silence and Adama pressed a little harder. "Are things all right?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. What's 'all right'?"

He didn't have much of an answer for that. "Good question." Taking her arm again, he led her towards the mess tent. "How about we have some lunch and we can discuss it?"

Nodding, Kara leaned against his side and murmured, "Sounds like a plan."

Yes, indeed, Adama was very grateful he'd come for a visit.

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Four hours later he had Racetrack divert his Raptor to the Pegasus before heading back to his own ship.

Kara was far from all right and Bill was even more certain it had something to do with his son. She had barely touched her food, stating that algae didn't taste any better surrounded by fresh air then it did when stuck on a battlestar. He had gently inquired about her and Sam, about the work both of them were doing to help and establish a real colony and she had evaded him at every turn.

However, it wasn't until he'd mentioned Lee that he knew something was really wrong.

The look of pure grief and regret that washed across her features and the utter paleness of her complexion took him completely by surprise. He knew that Kara's marriage had been a surprise to Lee—it'd been a surprise to all of them, but now it appeared as though Kara was beginning to regret the way she and her former best friend had parted.

When Bill suggested she come up for a few days, maybe spend some time on Galactica and Pegasus, Kara had all but sprinted out of the tent. He'd found her a couple rows over, emptying the contents of her stomach. And despite his efforts, she wouldn't broach the topic of Lee or her health again.

"Ready to disembark, sir."

Racetrack's clipped tone brought Adama back to the present and he smiled his thanks to the young woman. "Just sit tight. I won't be long."

She nodded and then continued to cycle through the post-flight as Adama lifted himself out of the seat and stepped onto the wing.

"Admiral on deck!"

He had no idea who gave him away, but he watched the enlisteds and the officers all snap to attention. Offering the Deck Chief a small salute, he called, "At ease." As they went back to their business and his boots hit the deck, he heard a familiar voice.

"Admiral, this is a surprise."

Bill turned and gave Dee a welcoming grin. He missed her calm demeanor and warm voice on his boat. Moving forward, he offered her shoulder a light squeeze. "Lieutenant. It's good to see you."

She returned his smile and then gestured toward the nearest exit. "The Major's in his quarters."

Bill frowned. Lee was on shift, he should be in CIC. "Everything all right?"

Dee nodded curtly, but didn't elaborate, so Adama waited until they'd cleared the deck and were alone before asking, "Dee, what's going on?"

Her brow furrowed as she turned to him, the ever-present look of feigned ignorance on her face. "Sir?"

He stopped, waiting until the lieutenant had as well, before speaking. "I've heard the rumors, Dee. I know Lee's growing more and more impossible." As she ducked her head, he added, "And I also know you requested a transfer last week."

Her cheeks flushed slightly and then within a flash she was again the model of military discipline. "I think it's best for you to take that up with the major, sir."

She turned abruptly and started walking again. Bill followed. "Lieutenant—"

"Sir." She stopped and glanced back at him, concern radiating from her eyes. "I really think you need to speak with Lee," she repeated softly.

Nodding once, Bill waited for Dee to start walking again and then fell into step beside her.

It seemed his son's behavior was just as suspicious as Kara's.

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Lee stared at the paperwork spread out before him and felt a deep need to burn it. What would happen, he wondered, if he burned a few reams of what was the last bit of paper left in the universe? Would anyone care?

Sighing, he slumped back into the sofa, once again grateful for its comfort. While he would always love the Galactica for various reasons, he had to admit the luxury of the Pegasus was a welcome treat. The shower had unbelievable water pressure, the furnishings were far better and the mattresses were so close to real bed he could barely think of it as a bunk.

But it was still a ship and it was still empty and cold and it still reeked of Cain's iron-fisted rule. Three months wasn't going to fix any of that.

The door alarm sounded and Lee sighed, rising and reaching for his jacket as he called, "Enter."

The door hissed open and then shut again and Lee turned, buttoning his coat as he faced his visitor. "What can I—"

"Out of uniform while on duty, Lee?"

Lee's mouth dropped open at the sight of his father—he hadn't seen him since the morning of … _that_ morning.

The small smile that played across his features now, underneath that ever-growing mustache had caught him off guard. Snapping to a lazy salute, he was even more surprised when his father chuckled. "At ease, Major. This isn't a business call."

Lee relaxed and tensed simultaneously, shrugging back out of his jacket. If his father was here for personal reasons, there were only a handful of things he'd want to talk about. And Lee had a sinking feeling he knew one of them would be Kara.

He subconsciously recoiled at even the sound of her name.

"Drink?" he asked quickly, trying to hide his discomfort.

His father nodded before taking a seat and Lee retrieved two glasses of ambrosia for them.

Handing one to his father, Lee sat on the opposite end of the couch. They sipped in silence for a few moments, the quiet unsettling Lee far more than any idle chatter.

As he downed the last bit of the green alcohol and was about to retrieve more, his father told him, "I just came back from the planet."

Gods, Lee hated being right. "Really?" He rose and poured more ambrosia, downing it in one gulp before pouring some more. "How is everyone?"

"How is _everyone_?" His father parroted before asking, "Or how is Kara?"

Lee knew there was no hiding the tension in his shoulders or his voice as he said, "Everyone."

His father was silent. Lee counted to ten and then turned, not at all surprised to see an all-knowing look peering right through him. "What's going on, Lee?"

The Old Man was showing up to "talk" now? Lee found that decidedly insulting. Of course, he'd come now, he'd just seen Kara and no doubt decided that whatever had gone wrong between them must be Lee's fault. "I don't know, dad." He poured another tall glass of ambrosia and then leaned back against the bar. "Why don't you tell me."

He watched his father stare at him, the familiar look of disappointment and pity in his eyes and Lee had a sudden urge to hurl his glass against the nearest wall. It wasn't his fault—he'd done everything he could think of to be with Kara. He'd made love to her, told her he loved her, showed her and yet she'd still run. She'd gotten up and run across that godsforsaken rock to marry somebody else.

His fingers turned white from where he clutched the glass and he had to mentally will himself to relax his grip. His father, still silent, eyed him for another moment and then rose, crossing the room to stand before him.

"I know that I've never understood your relationship with Kara."

Lee snorted. "What relationship? I was the CAG and she was my hotshot pilot."

His father's brow furrowed with even more disappointment. "Lee, I'm not that clueless. I do command a battlestar."

Lee bit back the insult that rose to his tongue and studied the floor as his father said, "I think you should take a few days. Go down to the planet, see some of your old pilots, your friends."

Rolling his eyes, Lee downed the rest of his ambrosia in one gulp and crossed back to the couch, picking up the schedule he'd been working on before. "See some of my old friends?" he questioned, making the edge evident in his tone. "Or see Kara?"

"Both." His father wasn't even trying to hide his meddling; this did not bode well.

Lee kept his silence, staring at numbers that made no sense. All he could see was Kara's face as he'd left her standing by those trees, her lips swollen from his, her body shaking from his. Gods, why couldn't she leave him alone?

"Lee, whatever happened between you and Kara, she's blaming herself for your falling out. I think a visit from you would do a world of good. Help clear the air."

He rose, tossing the papers aside, seeing red. "Did you ever think for even a second that maybe she should be blaming herself?" His fists were shaking from the repressed desire to hit something. "Did you ever think that maybe this is her fault?"

His father nodded. "Yes." Lee took a step back, stunned by the admission. "But I also know that she's carried guilt and pain with her for a long time. And Lee, she doesn't know how to let it go. And eventually, it's going to destroy her."

"Good." He spat the word like a poison dart and had the sick satisfaction of watching his father flinch.

"Lee, please."

"Dad." The low tone of his voice, the shaky control must have signified to his father how much he needed to stop talking. "You have no idea what happened. You have no idea what Kara did to me. So don't stand there and pretend that going down to the planet and having a cup of coffee is going to fix anything."

He knew it wouldn't. Kara was still married to another man. Lee didn't think his pride would ever allow him to forgive that large a transgression. And neither would his heart.

He hoped he'd finally reached his father, but when the Old Man still wouldn't take his leave, Lee glanced at him with hard eyes. "What?"

Adama let out a heavy sigh and Lee saw age on his father's features for the first time in a while. "Just think about it, son. Please."

There was a plea in his blue eyes that Lee couldn't quite place. Whatever his father had discovered during his latest visit with Kara seemed to have affected him deeply. Intense curiosity almost made him inquire, but he only had to think about Kara and Sam walking arm-in-arm through that damn colony to suppress the feeling.

"Fine, I will." He sat, reshuffling papers knowing he'd get nothing else accomplished for the rest of day. "If that's all Admiral, I have work to do."

He thought his father might fight him on it, might push and try to get him to actually talk, but instead, he set his glass back on the bar and headed for the door. Just as he reached the entryway, he turned and said, "Take care of yourself, Lee."

Lee waited until the door had hissed open and shut before sinking back onto the couch. He'd spend the rest of the day pretending he couldn't remember what Kara liked look.

Great.

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	3. Chapter 3

Title: Captive – Chapter 3

Pairing: Lee/Kara (slowly, but surely)

Rating: This chapter, PG-13

Summary: After their one night on New Caprica, Lee and Kara are leading separate lives. Can anything draw them back together?

Disclaimer: It'd be cool if I owned it wouldn't it? I'd totally tell who the fifth Cylon was!

A/N: Thanks for all the great comments on chapters 1 and 2. As a special New Year's Eve gift, here's chapter 3. I'll try to post Chapter 4 tomorrow and a chapter a day until we're all done.

Thanks again!

TamSibling

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Four Months After the Groundbreaking Ceremony

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Kara shifted uncomfortably on the doc's table. The paper beneath her crinkled with the motion and she tensed, waiting for someone to tell her to be quiet. But no one seemed to notice that the once great Starbuck was sitting half-naked in what now served as New Caprica's med tent, waiting for test results that would change her life.

She knew what it was going to say, what the blood work would reveal. She wanted to be happy about it, wanted to be glad, but she just couldn't quite muster the emotion. It would end things between her and Sam for good, not that they weren't already. Their first four months of marriage had been incredibly hard and Sam spent most nights crashing in the tents of his Pyramid buddies instead of sharing their bed.

What was worse—Kara didn't mind. It wasn't his solid form she wanted beside her, it wasn't his hands or mouth she wanted on hers, and it wasn't his warmth she wanted to lose herself in. But the person she wanted was orbiting on a distant battlestar and Kara feared she'd seen the last of him four months ago. Just as she'd stupidly planned.

Dropping her face into her hands, she blinked back a few traitorous tears. It seemed she was always one word away from crying these days. She was glad she could blame it on hormones. It allowed her to avoid the real reason—she was so frakkin' unhappy she could barely breathe.

"Well, Lieutenant. I see you've really taken to this whole domesticity thing."

She wiped quickly at her face and then looked up as the Doc stepped back into the small curtained off area. With a trademark smirk, she told him, "I retired my commission, Major."

He grinned tightly and then lit a cigarette. "Old habits," he explained, waving his hand and causing a wispy swirl of smoke to twirl before him. Leaning against the cart behind him, he folded his arms over his chest and Kara tried not to shift under his scrutiny. Just as she was ready to wring answers from him, he said, "I assume you came to me to confirm what you already know."

Swallowing hard past the lump in her throat, Kara nodded. "So, I'm …" She couldn't finish the sentence, couldn't say it out loud. Oh Gods.

"Pregnant, yes," Cottle answered, opening her chart and giving it a cursory glance before setting it back down. "You're entering your sixteenth week." He took a drag and then blew it out. "You should have come to me before now, you know that."

She nodded. Her mouth felt dry, like she'd swallowed a glass of sand. Why couldn't she speak? Forcing her tongue to move, she worked up enough saliva to choke out, "Is … is it okay?"

"Healthy and strong, just like its mother." Cottle offered her a soft smile that brought more tears to Kara's eyes. Waiting a moment for her to collect herself, he asked quietly, "Does the father know?"

Not 'your husband,' but 'the father.' Kara guessed Cottle was far more perceptive than he ever let on. She shook her head once.

"What about Anders?"

Kara closed her eyes for a moment as her latest argument with Sam played through her mind. It had been just that morning, when he'd returned to the tent for a change of clothes and found her puking her guts out once again. Throwing a towel in her direction, he'd leaned over her and whispered harshly, "Frak, Kara. Why the hell did you ever marry me?" before he'd stormed off.

"He knows."

"And he knows it isn't his," Cottle took another long drag and then stubbed out the cigarette. "All of the survivors from Caprica are sterile due to the prolonged exposure to radiation. We discovered that when they first came back."

Her eyes closed again. Of course, even if she'd wanted to, she never could have passed this baby off as Sam's. Everyone would see through the ruse.

Lee's face suddenly swam before her eyes and Kara bit her lip hard, trying to dismiss it. She would not burden him with this. She'd done everything in her power to push him away. The last thing he would want was his pregnant lover and ex-best friend showing up on his doorstep begging for forgiveness.

It was an odd concept to think of herself begging, but Kara was prepared to at this moment. Hell, she'd almost tackled him that morning before he'd even made it to the raptor. She imagined herself holding him close, pressing kisses to his lips and eyelids and cheeks and murmuring over and over again, "I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it. I love you, Lee. I love you."

And then Lee would hold her back and kiss her back and they would go back to her tent and frak until they were boneless.

And then, she normally woke up.

"Lieutenant?"

Blinking her eyes open, she focused on the doctor and offered him a slight smile. "Sorry, doc. My mind's been wandering a lot lately."

Cottle nodded in understanding and then handed her a bottle. "Well, get used to it, because it's going to happen a lot more. The baby's going to be taking all your energy, your food and most of your brain cells for the next five months."

Kara nodded absently, studying the pill bottle in her hand. "And these?"

"Vitamins. The only ones I've got at the moment. I'll send a requisition up to the fleet. See if they can spare some more pre-natal kits."

Kara's heart raced uncontrollably at the thought of such a request passing the Old Man's desk … or Lee's. "But no one will know who they're for, right?"

Narrowing his eyes, Cottle studied her for a moment and then said, "No, Starbuck. No one will know who they're for."

As Kara breathed a large sigh of relief, he added quietly, "But you should tell the baby's father. He deserves to know."

She knew that. And maybe someday she would. But not now. It was all too fresh in her mind. The sting of that morning, the ecstasy of that night, it never left her, it haunted her waking and sleeping moments. She couldn't revisit it again, not now.

"I know, but I don't deserve him, so I guess we'll just have to keep the secret for a while."

Reaching for her pants, she glanced to the doctor who turned his back obligingly. Shrugging the fatigues on, she wondered how soon it would before she'd need bigger clothes. How soon would it be before the questions started? What if she ran? Took a tent and some supplies and just got lost for a while? No, no. Kara Thrace was done running. She had made her choices and she had to start learning how to live with them.

"You're going to have to start taking better care of yourself," the doctor told her, turning back to face her as she finished buttoning the cargoes.

"What do you mean?" She sat on the nearest chair and pushed her feet into her boots.

"Well, you need to eat, and not just a few protein bars. I mean really eat. Even the mush they pass off as vegetables. It may taste like crap, but it's got vitamins and minerals in it that you and the baby need."

She nodded not at all looking forward to spending more time in the mess or actually eating the slop they served. She'd been pretty good at avoiding it so far.

"Plus, you need rest, lots of it. No contact Pyramid, no smoking, no drinking and no strenuous activity."

Kara rolled her eyes. She doubted she'd be engaging in any "strenuous" activity any time soon. Her husband wouldn't touch her with a ten-foot pole and the man she wanted didn't want her back. She'd made sure of that.

"Don't worry, Doc. For the next five months, I'll live like a nun."

---- ----

A week of actually knowing and Kara could already feel things changing. Already her breasts felt heavier, her stomach felt a little fuller. If she stood in front of the long mirror in her tent, she could even see the smallest swell there. She found her hand resting against the tiny bump before she'd go to sleep, when she woke up in the morning, when she thought no one was looking. She was carrying a baby—Lee's baby—and it made her immensely sad and immensely proud all at the same time.

She had just forced down her third meal for the day, no small feat considering that the morning-sickness-which-couldn't-tell-time still hadn't abated, and was looking forward to hitting her rack early. Cottle was right, the baby was sucking her energy.

Entering her tent, she pushed the flap aside and immediately headed for the small stove. It hadn't seemed possible but it was actually getting colder on this rock. Lighting a match and stoking the wood, she waited for a second for a good flame to catch, before turning and almost jumping out of her skin.

Sam was in their bed, his head and shoulders propped up on extra pillows, his body wrapped in every blanket she suspected they owned. Curious and a little annoyed as he seemed to have taken her spot, she approached him slowly and knelt beside him. "Sammy?"

She shook his shoulder gently and he came to with a loud, long groan. "Kara?"

"Yeah, it's me." She watched as his eyes opened, looking glassy and unfocused. Concerned, she leaned forward, pressing her palm to his forehead and pulling it back suddenly. "Yikes, Sam, you're burning up."

"Yeah," he murmured. "I think I caught something. I was on my way to the med tent, but I got really tired. So I thought I'd take a nap."

Kara frowned. That didn't bode well. "I'm gonna go get, Cottle, okay?"

He barely acknowledged her and Kara pulled her extra coat from the chair beside the door and headed back into the cold night.

---- ----

Lee was really tired of signing his name. It seemed it was all he did anymore. They rarely needed him in CIC and often he just stood at the con for his shifts, watching the lights dance across the board. Occasionally, he asked Hoshi to patch through the CAP, but even that was boring. The pilots were bored. No bogies, no threats meant no joy. It just depressed him more.

Reaching for the next stack of papers, he opened the folder from the surface, noting the extra requisitions from Cottle. It seemed he needed more antibiotics, a scribbled note in the margin explaining that a particularly violent strain of flu was slowly spreading through the settlement. They'd had three deaths so far—mostly older colonists, but still.

His thoughts guiltily drifted to Kara. Gods, he didn't want to care anymore, but he couldn't help it. His heart was a vengeful, traitorous organ and just when he thought he could manage to get through a whole day without thinking of Kara, he'd remember something and have to start pretending all over again.

He signed off on the medicine request, noting that Cottle had also written down four new pregnancies amongst the settlers. With a slight smile, Lee signed off on the request for prenatal kits, making an additional note that they should send all but a handful to the surface. Those who had stayed with the fleet were still getting their shots and the chance of an "accidental" pregnancy was slim. The kits were needed on the surface.

Passing the folder into the "finished" pile, Lee sat back and let out a sigh. Another image of Kara, this time of her riding him, slowly, confidently in New Caprica's moonlight while he thrust into her. Just the memory made him half-hard and he'd spent many showers either attempting to calm his body down or working himself into a state and letting his body find an unsatisfying release.

The conversation with his father came to mind as he forced the sight of Kara away. He had almost req'd a Raptor to the surface half a dozen times in the last month. He could hate himself all he wanted, but the fact was, he did want to see Kara. He wasn't sure what he'd do when he did—wasn't convinced he might not yell at her or strangle her or maybe wrap her in his arms and refuse to release her. He just didn't know.

But he couldn't do it. He just … couldn't.

The door chime sounded and he glanced to it, wondering if he should pretend not to be home. But guilt and duty reminded him he couldn't do that, so he reached for another stack of papers begging for his signature and called, "Enter."

As the door hissed open, he glanced up and caught sight of Dualla standing before him. How she had managed to put up with him and his terrible moods the past four months, he still didn't know. He hadn't completely shot down any chance of something between them, but he definitely hadn't encouraged it either. After a few weeks of making the first move, Dee had seemingly gotten the hint and backed off. He'd tried to be a little more civil too, since his father had informed him of her transfer request.

Now, she stood before him at attention, holding another stack of folders and Lee couldn't help but groan. She frowned at him. "Sir?"

"Sorry, Dee, it's not you." He waved her forward and took the folders as she offered them to him. "I'm just starting to get writer's cramp," he confessed, shaking out the hand with a grimace. "Can't I get a stamp or something?"

She actually giggled softly at his attempt at humor and Lee felt a ridiculous swell of pride. It'd been a long time since he'd made anyone laugh.

"I don't know about a stamp," Dee confessed. "But I suppose I could practice and maybe learn to forge your signature."

He glanced to her and saw the teasing light in her eyes and decided to let the complete breach of protocol slide. He knew she was kidding. "Uh-huh, Lieutenant. I have a very distinct signature. It can't be copied."

Dee lifted an eyebrow and circled the desk. She leaned over his shoulder, studying the papers he'd just signed and Lee would have been lying if he said he disliked her closeness. "That signature?" she asked, pointing at his unintelligible scrawl.

He nodded. She clucked her tongue softly and then reached for his pen, her fingers brushing against his making him ridiculously excited. She looked to his signature for a few more minutes and then grabbed a scrap piece of paper on the edge of his desk. With two flicks of her wrist, she was done. "Hardly," she drawled, her eyes still sparkling as she handed it to him.

He glanced to the paper, forcing his eyes away from her face and felt his jaw drop open. She had an uncanny ability. "That's pretty amazing."

She shrugged and then rounded to the other side of the desk. "Not really. My parents never wanted me to have any fun. Let's just say forging their signatures came in really handy."

Lee couldn't help the grin that spread across his face.

"Did you need anything else, sir?" She was back to military politeness and it forced Lee to actually think of duty and propriety.

"Uh, no, Lieutenant, that'll be all."

She gave a small salute and then headed out. Lee watched her go, realizing his admiration for her backside was completely inappropriate. But maybe it was time, damn it. Kara had moved on. Maybe he needed someone else in his mind, his body to make him forget Kara.

Deep down, he knew it wouldn't work, but at this moment, he was desperate enough to try anyway.

"Actually, Lieutenant?"

Dee stopped in the open doorway, turning back to him.

"I was wondering if maybe you'd be free for dinner?"

She stared at him for just a second, open-mouthed, and then her face split into a wide, kind grin. "Absolutely."

Lee found his own face returning her smile and for the first time in a long time, it wasn't forced.

---- ----


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Captive, Chapter 4

Pairing: Lee/Kara

Rating: This chapter? PG-13

Disclaimer: It's not mine. Even after I wrote Santa a letter everyday this year …

Summary: The Colonists are settling on New Caprica, but obstacles greet them at every turn. Will Kara and Lee finally find a way around their own obstacles and be together?

A/N: Happy New Year! Here's the next installment. Still heavy on the angst … but a little more pilot-y.

---- ----

Six Months After the Groundbreaking Ceremony

---- ----

Helo braced himself outside the door to Lee's office guessing he was either going to get a thank you or a punch for what he was about to do.

He didn't relish the idea of marching in there and telling Apollo exactly what he thought of him and his chicken shit treatment of Kara. He knew it wasn't his place. But Kara was his friend and hearing her voice just the day before … Well, her tone haunted him and he couldn't sit by and do nothing. He'd done that for six months and it hadn't gotten them anywhere.

He waited for Lee to grant him access and then stepped inside, reports from the Galactica under his arm. He had volunteered for this courier run, drawing a raised eyebrow from the Admiral. But the other man seemed satisfied when Helo explained he simply wanted to visit a few of his old crewmates. Then, almost as if he'd known what Helo was planning, he'd said, "Tell Lee I said hello."

"Hey, Helo."

Lee's voice brought his attention front and Helo smiled a hello before snapping off a salute. "Commander."

The other man waved him off and gestured to a chair opposite him. Helo lowered his long frame into it, setting the folders in his lap. "It's good to see you," Lee continued, still referring to some papers in front of him. "I was a bit surprised though when I found out you were shuttling over those forms yourself."

Helo shrugged. "Every once in a while it helps to stretch the legs."

Lee nodded absently, before finishing off a few more flourishes with his pen and then setting it down. Hands clasped before him, he offered Helo a smile. "So, what can I do for you?"

Helo bit down his initial thought, which was that the commander could take his head out of his ass, and handed over the folders. "There's nothing too pressing in there, but it'd probably be easier if you could review them now."

Lee took them and opened the first one. They sat in silence for a few minutes as he perused the papers and Helo felt his nervousness rising. This really, really wasn't any of his business. And he'd heard rumors about Apollo and Dualla and maybe it was all working out for the best …

No, Helo had to do something and if that meant sticking his nose where it didn't belong, so be it. At least he'd know he tried.

"Helo?"

Caught off guard again, the taller man looked to Apollo and caught him smiling. "Something on your mind?"

Well, there was his opening. "Yeah, actually there is." He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and met Apollo's gaze head on. "I got a call from the surface yesterday."

He noticed the shift in Apollo's demeanor immediately. The teasing light was gone from his eye as his features hardened and his back stiffened. "Really? Anything important happening?"

"It's getting colder." Barreling ahead, Helo told him, "And a few more of the settlers have died from pneumonia."

Lee released a heavy sigh and closed his eyes for a moment. "How many now?"

"Two dozen as of yesterday." In the grand scheme it was a small number, but stacked against their already depleted population, it was huge.

"Is that why you're here?"

Lee's question caught him by surprise and Helo's eyes widened in question. "Did someone we know … Was it someone we know?"

"Yeah, actually." Taking a deep breath, Helo told him, "Sam Anders."

Helo had never seen the color drain from someone's face so fast. Lee sat back heavily in his chair, staring at something in the distance and Helo waited for him to process this information.

After a prolonged minute, he explained, "Kara called me to tell me." He closed his eyes, conjuring Kara's broken voice in a heartbeat. "She's uh … She's not doing so well, Apollo."

Jaw tightening, Lee sat forward, hunched again over his paperwork. But this time the tension in his shoulders was about more than making command decisions. Helo could see the line of anxiety spreading along his back, up his neck and into his face. "That's too bad," he said quietly, voice just as rock hard as the muscles in his jaw. "Send her my condolences."

"Damn it, Apollo."

His eyes snapped up and Helo knew he'd crossed a line. "Permission to speak freely, sir?"

He thought Lee might actually deny the request, but he gave a small nod of acquiescence and Helo took a deep breath. Then, he spoke. "She needs you, Apollo. Whether you want to admit it or not, it's the truth."

"No, Helo, she doesn't. She chose Anders six months ago. She doesn't need me."

"You know that's not true." Helo wondered if maybe they really were too hard-headed for one another. "She loves you and you know it. And I think you still love her."

The muscle in his cheek started beating out a steady rhythm, but Lee held his tongue so Helo pressed. "Come on, Apollo. What was your first thought when I told you Anders was dead?'

He saw a flash of color blush Lee's cheeks before he managed to tamp it down. He had him. "See? You love her. So help her, Apollo. She's going through hell down there."

"That was her choice."

Helo knew he wasn't going to give ground on that point. He also knew Kara was six months pregnant with Lee's baby and if he found out, Apollo might very well go nova. He also knew that the knowledge they had a child together would forever bind Lee and Kara and maybe that was the kind of irrevocable bond they needed right now.

"I know Kara frakked up and she probably hurt you pretty damn bad in the process. It's kind of her M.O." Helo had seen Kara Thrace blow through more guys than he cared to admit. He'd been the one by her side after Zak's death and her assignment to the Galactica and there was no doubt that Starbuck left a string of broken hearts and bruised egos in her wake. "And I know that Anders … well, yeah, that pretty much sucks. But you know why she did it, Apollo."

"No, Helo, I actually don't!" Lee rose so fast his chair hit the wall behind him. Pacing out from behind the desk, he stalked the length of his quarters and back again. "She gave me some bullshit answer about it being too much, but what a frakkin' load of crap that was. She wanted Anders. She married Anders."

"But she loves you." Helo knew that was true. The moment he'd mentioned Lee's name to her, her breath had hitched and he knew it wasn't from a shitty connection. He also knew that the Admiral had already broached this topic with Lee once and it hadn't gone well. And, most damning of all, he knew that Lee hadn't been down to the surface of New Caprica once since the ground breaking. For a man who was over his ex, he was doing his damnedest to avoid her.

"I thought she did, Helo. But she married another guy. You expect me to forget that?"

"No, I expect you to forgive it. Forgive her. Help her through this, Lee. I know it's a lot to ask, man. But she was your best friend once. She could use a friend right now."

Lee snorted. "A friend, right?" He stopped his pacing, hands on his hips and stared at Helo. After taking a deep breath, he asked quietly, "Don't you get it, Helo? We're not friends. Not anymore."

Well, okay, he knew that was true. "I know, man. But—"

"Come on, Helo. If our positions were reversed and the woman you—" Lee choked on the word and Helo wisely kept his silence. It was obvious Apollo had been building up to this for a while. "And the woman you love broke your heart and married another guy, would you be willing to charge to her side and hold her hand?"

Wounded pride was the Adamas' Achilles' heel, which, of course, Kara knew. Which was why she had so expertly stomped on Lee's.

"I don't know, Lee. If our positions were reversed … I don't know what I'd do. I just know that Kara has been my friend for years and I can't get through to her. And that scares me." He rose and stepped in front of Lee, getting the other man's eyes before adding, "And I know that, no matter what, no matter what was going on between the two of you, you've always been able to reach her."

He waited for Lee to try and deny it and was slightly relieved when he didn't. Silence stretched between them. Lee nodded hesitantly once and then returned to his desk, leafing through the papers Helo had brought. They sat in silence for the next hour and once Lee had closed the folder and handed it back to him, Helo finally said, "There's a Raptor leaving for the surface tomorrow at oh-nine hundred. The funeral's at ten. I'll be on it."

Lee nodded once more, but didn't say another word as Helo collected his things and headed back to his ship. As he powered up the Raptor and ran through pre-flight, he offered a silent prayer to the Gods. He'd done all he could. He just hoped it was enough.

---- ----

Lee wasn't on the Raptor at oh-nine hundred or the one that arrived later that night at eighteen hundred. He didn't actually step foot onto the surface of New Caprica until oh-nine hundred the following day.

He ran into a few familiar faces as he searched surreptitiously for Kara. For the most part, people seemed happy to see him and he found he was happy to see them as well. After walking up and down the rows of tents for an hour or so, he finally cornered Duck and asked him if he knew which one was Kara's.

The red-headed man blushed sheepishly and said, "Well, Kara and An—Uh, Kara, lives down at the end of the fifth aisle. But she's not home."

Lee's brow furrowed and he felt a familiar twinge of worry squeeze his chest. "Where is she?"

Duck nodded in the direction of the stand of trees—that stand of trees—and said, "The cemetery. She's been there pretty much since the funeral yesterday. I think Laura managed to get her to eat, but when I went out this morning for a run, she was still there."

Lee nodded his thanks to the man and started picking his way across the graveled landscape. The worry in his heart blossomed into full-blown anxiety as he realized how deeply Kara must be grieving. Gods, could he really do this? Could he really watch her, support her as she grieved for another man?

As soon as her kneeling form came into view, Lee knew the answer was an unequivocal yes. Even with her head bowed and her face turned away from him, seeing her, in the flesh, brought a sense of long-absent peace to his heart. Her blonde hair was longer now and she'd left it down so the strands blew in the breeze, creating a light yellow fan behind her.

He made his way toward her as quietly as possible, not wanting to startle her, but not wanting to disrupt her mourning either. In truth, he had no idea what to say. He'd taken the extra twenty-four hours because he had truly hoped something would come to him.

It hadn't.

He noticed a few other small grave markers scattered about and felt another wave of pity. His people were dying. The last members of humanity who had settled on this planet looking for a better life were dying and Lee mourned their passing.

He was only a few steps from her now, but he didn't go to her, didn't reach out to touch her, didn't kneel at her side. He'd be damned to her for all eternity if he felt her skin under his fingers again. He suspected he already was, but he liked the pretense of keeping a distance.

Clearing his throat, Lee did his best to keep the tremble out of his tone. "Kara?"

Her head snapped up, but she didn't turn to face him. He watched her back stiffen, her hands coming down to her sides. She knew it was him—he had no doubt. "Kara, I … I'm sorry."

He heard what could only be a stifled sob and watched as one hand flew back to her face. The urge to reach out to her was so strong Lee felt physically propelled to cross the small distance between them. He had no idea what allowed him to stay still. "I'm sorry about Anders."

Her shoulders shook slightly and Lee felt helpless. Kara in pain was his greatest weakness. It happened so rarely that the indomitable Starbuck was felled by anything so prosaic as a broken limb or a cold or grief. When Lee had glimpsed it in the past, her vulnerability, her need for human comfort, for contact, for reassurance almost stopped him cold. Gods help him, but it had worked again.

Unable to resist for a minute more, he stepped forward and placed a hand to her shoulder. He could feel the outline of her shoulder blade beneath her skin. She was too thin. His hand on her skin caused her to straighten again and he was surprised when she rose slowly. But she still wouldn't face him.

"Don't, Lee." Her voice was thin and tired and it made his heart hurt even more. "Just … don't. Go back to your ship."

"No." He was surprised to realize he meant it. He wasn't leaving until he was at least slightly convinced she was going to be all right. "Kara, let me help."

Her head shook, hair whipping back and forth. "You can't, Lee. I did this. I …"

"You didn't, Kara." He stepped up behind her, hands on her shoulders. He kept a ridiculous few inches of space between them as if it might protect him from falling completely under her spell once more. "Anders got sick, Kara. You didn't do this."

"I did." She sighed heavily and the tension in her body lessened a bit. It also brought her a bit closer to Lee and he did nothing to regain the distance. "He … he had nothing to fight for. I didn't give him a reason."

Confused, Lee tried to turn her to face him, but she held her ground and wouldn't be moved. "Kara, you married him. That was plenty of reason."

"But I didn't love him." She sighed again and this time the sound of a sob punctuated the noise. "And he knew it, Lee. He knew I was in love with somebody else. And he hated me." Her head tilted back toward the grave and Lee knew her eyes were tracing the small letters on Anders' grave marker. "He had every right to hate me."

How was he supposed to help her through this? Lee felt helplessness welling in his gut as if it were a live creature burrowing its way into his stomach and his lungs and his heart. What was he supposed to do?

"Kara, please don't do this." As much as his heart lifted at the thought that she might be admitting she did in fact still love him, Lee knew this was about her and Anders. She truly thought her choice had been his downfall.

"Lee, go back to the Pegasus. I made the wrong choice and it killed Anders." She took one achingly slow step away from him and his hands fell uselessly to his sides. "I made my choice and I have to live with it. I …"

Despite the anger he had felt for months, despite the brokenness and despair she had foisted upon him, Lee Adama, in this moment, did not give a frak. Because Lee Adama still loved Kara Thrace.

"No, Kara. I'm not going. Not this time." He approached her quickly and spun her to face him, not caring that she tried to resist him again. He was done with allowing Kara to frak things up. He should have stepped up to the plate six months ago. Better late than—

As he pulled her into a hug, he realized Kara's body felt different against his. Where she had once molded along his form, he noted a slightly rounded protrusion in her abdomen. Leaning back slightly, he glanced down and noticed how Kara instinctively wrapped her hands around the bump. It was unmistakable and Lee felt his heart lodge itself somewhere between his Adam's apple and his mouth.

"Kara?" He couldn't form any other coherent thought at the moment.

Looking to her, he watched two perfect tears fall down her face, followed by two more and two more. "He knew, Lee. He knew I loved you. And he …" She gazed at her stomach, hands still protectively cradling the life inside and whispered, "And he had to be reminded everyday."

Lee swallowed hard, wanting to be certain he hadn't misunderstood. "It's mine?"

She nodded, biting her lower lip as she looked back into his eyes. "The radiation on Caprica," she whispered and then shrugged. "It couldn't be Sam's."

Stunned, Lee reached out a shaky hand and covered one of hers where it rested against her stomach. She sighed contentedly at the touch and Lee felt his heart swell. Just moments before it had been breaking and now, he felt such hope, such relief, he didn't know what to do with himself.

He wanted to lift Kara into his arms and shout for joy and he wanted to yell at her, berate her for keeping this from him. But an even bigger part of him just wanted to fall to his knees and press kisses to her belly and promise her that no matter what, they were going to be together from now on.

Lee didn't do any of those things. Instead, he met her tear-filled eyes and murmured, "It's going to be okay."

"No." She shook her head violently back and forth and pulled away from him. It hurt more now than it ever had before. "No, Lee. It's not. I killed Sam because I couldn't love him."

"Because you love me." Lee was certain of that now. "Because you love me and you're carrying our child."

"But I don't deserve you," she admitted, voice hardening as she forced her tears back. "I hurt you in the worst way possible and I lied to you and I ran. And you don't deserve to be with someone like that."

Lee couldn't say her logic was faulty—she had indeed done all those things. But they paled in comparison to the knowledge they were having a baby and that she loved him. "I don't care, Kara."

"Yes, you do." She gave him a sad smile that almost cleaved his heart in two. "I know you, Lee. I know what I did was unforgivable. You won't forget it. Maybe for a while, but eventually it'll come back and you'll resent me and I … I won't survive that, Lee." She took a step closer and Lee fought his hands to stay still. This had to be on Kara's terms now. Gods, he hated that. "I won't survive losing you again."

"And what about our baby, Kara?" He was perfectly willing to play dirty. She'd left him no choice. "I don't deserve our baby either."

"No, Lee of course not. I want the baby to know you. Once it's born we'll work out visitation. I want it to know you and the Old Man. I do." She reached for his hand and placed it to her stomach and Lee was again overwhelmed by the knowledge that a little part of him was growing inside her. "But I don't want your pity, Lee. I don't want you here for the baby, because then you'll resent it too."

"Kara." He stopped, finding his throat tightening as he imagined turning around and walking away from her. As he imagined getting back on the Raptor and returning to the Pegasus, where he'd sit in his quarters and do work. Where he'd lie in his bed at night and think about her, cold and alone on this idiotic rock. Nope, wasn't going to happen.

"Kara, I'm not leaving."

She shook her head and stepped away from him, leaving him cold. "You have to, Lee." With a distance in her eyes he hadn't seen for quite some time, she held his gaze and murmured, "I don't want you here."

He wasn't falling for it, not again, not ever again. "That's not true and now we both know it."

He charged forward and took her by the arms even as she struggled to get away. "Kara, when are you going to get it? I don't work without you. _We_ don't work without each other."

"Lee."

"No, Kara, listen to me, for once." Desperation warred with his restraint and Lee forced himself to take a deep breath before continuing. "I have hated these past six months. Being without you is the worst thing I could never have imagined. Nothing looks the same or tastes the same or sounds the same. Everything's just … dead. I'm—" Lee stopped, forcing himself not to say 'dead,' painfully aware of where they were. "I'm numb without you, Kara. And I hate it."

She was crying again, silent tears that trailed down her cheeks and fell onto her shoulders. He had no idea if his words had any effect, but he wouldn't let her go and he wasn't going to take them back. There were no take backs. "Kara, say something, please."

Kara's wide, luminous eyes searched his fervently and he watched as she tried to form words. Finally, after a few false starts, she whispered thickly, "I don't deserve a second chance, Lee. I don't."

He smiled softly, moving a hand up to cup her cheek. His thumb brushed her skin, taking her tears with it. "Luckily, that's not up to you. It's up to me and I say you do. I say we've been given a second chance and we're damn well going to take it."

"You should go, Lee." She wasn't trying to pull away any more, but he could see the anguish in her features. "Once you're back on the Pegasus, you'll know that I'm—"

Lee wouldn't hear anymore. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers, tasting the salt of her tears. He moved his arms around her back and pulled her in tight, as his mouth slanted across hers. She breathed softly against him and finally, after he'd gently probed her lips with his tongue, she sighed and opened her mouth to him.

He spent a few lazy moments getting reacquainted. He had never kissed anyone like Kara. Unlike the previous times they had kissed though, she wasn't as aggressive. She let him take some of the control and he had to admit he reveled in it. But he didn't want her giving in because she thought that's what he wanted. He wanted his Kara back. He wanted them back.

Reluctantly, he pulled away and pressed his forehead to hers. "Kara, I'm not going to leave you. I'm not going anywhere. We're going to figure this out."

She sighed heavily, her hands resting lightly against his chest. "I want to believe you, Lee. I do, I swear."

"Then believe me, Kara." He pulled back to meet her eyes. "I swear, I'm telling you the truth."

She had to believe him. She had to let him in. He knew once he was truly behind Kara's walls, he'd be there forever. He wanted to live there, where her heart and soul resided, where he knew it was warm and giddy and loving and sexy. He wanted it more than anything.

"It'll take time," she breathed, but she didn't pull away. "Is that okay?"

Lee swallowed his initial answer which was a resounding 'frak no.' "Whatever you need, Kara, I'm just not leaving you." His hand made its way back to her belly and he added, "Or our baby."

This time she actually embraced him first, her arms wrapping around his neck as she buried her face into his shoulder. "I missed you," she murmured, pressing a kiss to his temple.

Lee squeezed his eyes shut against his tears. "I missed you too," he murmured, holding her tightly.

It was impossible to know how long they stood there, but Lee could feel the shivers coursing through Kara's body after a while. The temperature had dropped since he'd been on the surface and he knew that Kara was already too exposed to the elements. She wasn't even wearing a jacket.

Leaning back slightly, he shrugged out of his own coat and wrapped it about her shoulders. She gazed up at him with gratitude and love in her eyes and Lee kissed her forehead. "What do you say we head inside for a while?"

She nodded and took another step back. However, the movement appeared to be too much and she faltered slightly, Lee's arm around her waist the only thing that kept her from hitting the ground.

"Are you all right?" A million scenarios raced through his head and his eyes scanned her body quickly, looking for any sign of injury.

"Just haven't been sleeping so much." She glanced back to Sam's grave before resting her hand back to her belly. "First, Sam and then." With a small smile, she told him, "Well, let's just say this little one really likes to kick."

Lee knew it shouldn't make him smile, but a foolish grin spread across his face anyway. Keeping his arm around her waist, he led her back toward the camp. They walked in silence. Lee felt such relief. With Kara's warm, comforting weight along the length of his side something in his world had suddenly righted itself once more. It felt good.

Reaching her tent, Lee ushered her inside, making sure she was comfortably seated on the bed before attending to the fire. As he lit it in the stove, he looked about, surprised by the austere quarters. This wasn't a home, it was a fabric drape with few comforts. He didn't like the idea of Kara living like this—of any of them living like this. Why the frak had Baltar thought this was a good idea?

By the time he returned to Kara's side she was reclining on the bed, a few blankets pulled over her. As he rested a hand to her cheek, her eyes fluttered back open and he offered her a small smile. "Just get some rest, okay? I'm going to head to the mess and scrounge us up some dinner."

She grabbed his hand urgently, eyes widened with fear. "No. Stay. I'm not that hungry."

Frowning, Lee shifted closer. "Kara, it's okay. I'm not leaving."

"I just …" She let out a deep, shuddering breath and finally admitted, "I'm afraid if I go to sleep, I'll wake up and this will have been a dream."

Heart clenching with more love for her than he rightly knew what to do with, Lee leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her mouth. "Not a dream, Kara. We're going to be okay."

She nodded, but still wouldn't let go of his hand. Lee gave in. Toeing off his boots, he slid into the bed beside her, arm wrapped around her shoulders as she molded her body into his side. The press of her rounded belly was new and different, and it brought a smile to Lee's face.

He clasped her hand over his chest before pressing a kiss to her hair. "Just sleep, Kara. But we are eating later, just so you know. You've got to stay healthy."

"I know," she murmured and in moments, Lee knew she was out. He wondered when she had last gotten a good night's sleep. He guessed it had been months.

As he lied there with her warm presence in his arms, staring at the taupe colored canvas above him, he found his thoughts drifting.

He had no idea why he'd allowed Kara back into his heart so readily. And then he realized with startling clarity, it was because she'd never left. Every woman had always been a substitute for Kara since the moment he'd met her.

Now, he just had to do everything he could to make sure she understood that.

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	5. Chapter 5

Title: **Captive** – Chapter 5

Pairing: Lee/Kara

Rating: NC-17

Summary: Lee goes down to New Caprica to find Kara pregnant with his child and stays. Then, the Cylons show up.

Disclaimer: It's really not mine and Ron's kinda being mean about it.

A/N: So sorry for the delay in getting this posted. After I got the first four chapters up, I realized that the last two-thirds really needed some tweaking. I think I've got it now.

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The Cylons arrived four days later.

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Lee was still on the surface, having called his father and finagled some leave. Once the Old Man knew Lee's reasoning and that he was to become a grandfather, he'd relented.

Lee and Kara had entered an uneasy truce in the days following Anders' funeral, before the occupation. After their first night together, in which they did nothing more than sleep entangled in one another's arms, Kara had insisted Lee find his own tent. She worried about appearances, about how it would look to Anders' friends, to her friends, if she and Lee so quickly shacked up. Despite the fact that she was carrying his child and despite the fact that it was basically common knowledge, Kara didn't want to disrespect her late husband's memory.

After a lot of pleading and some additional negotiation, Lee finally agreed to move into his own place—which turned out to be the tent right next door.

On the morning of the occupation, Lee had arisen early, seeking out breakfast and what passed for coffee on the planet. Kara was scheduled to see Cottle today and Lee had assured her he'd be at every appointment and the birth, so help the Gods. Part of their routine involved Lee arriving in the morning with a tray of breakfast and spending the next hour or so coaxing Kara to clean her plate. She still didn't have much of an appetite, but Lee disliked how thin she'd become. Only the round swell of her belly suggested to anyone that she was pregnant—she hadn't gained weight anywhere else. And it worried him.

It was at the top of his list of things to speak with Cottle about.

Lee pushed aside the flap of her tent, adjusting his eyes to the dim interior and then stepped through, balancing the food tray on his arm. Kara was still asleep. He took the moment to study her unabashedly. She hated it when he stared, or so she said. She'd squirm and curse at him, sometimes she'd even go so far as to get up and walk away. She claimed to have no idea why or how Lee could find her so fascinating. Whenever he'd tried to explain it she'd roll her eyes or kiss him breathless and that would end the conversation.

He placed the tray down on the low table next to her bed and sat gingerly beside her. He longed to slide into the blankets and curl his body around hers. This planet was frakkin' cold and he found himself missing the warmth of the Pegasus. But more than anything, he missed the feeling of Kara's warm and solid weight beside him; he missed the small sigh she made in her sleep just as she was drifting off; missed the tickle of her hair against his chest.

He missed her body too; Lee couldn't rightly deny it. She'd made it clear that sex of any kind before the baby was born was out of the question; both out of respect to Anders and her own (wrongful) assumption that Lee would find her less desirable when swollen with his child. He'd told her in as many ways as possible that absolutely was not the case. If anything, it made him more lustful for her. But he only wanted her when she was ready, when she would realize that they were going to be together forever and that this was real and lasting. If that meant waiting, sticking it out until she could be sure, then he'd do it.

She rolled over letting out a small moan and Lee sat forward, ready to kiss her awake. It wasn't until he caught sight of her face—brow furrowed with concern, cheeks flushed, eyes rolling fervently behind tightly shut lids—that he started to panic.

"No." She moaned low in her throat, her head thrashing to the side as her hands wrested themselves free of the blanket and clawed at thin air. "No, get away from me! You can't take my baby!"

Lee's heart pounded in his chest as he reached for her hands and pulled her forward, bringing her into his chest. "Kara," he breathed in her ear, arms wrapped around her back as she fought against him. "Kara, wake up. It's just a dream."

She jerked against him, becoming fully alert and her body tensed, taut as a wire. He could feel her heart pounding through her chest and he rubbed soothing circles on her back trying to calm her. Leaning back slightly, Kara's hand traced his face, her eyes searching his intently. "Lee?"

There was such uncertainty in her voice it made his heart ache. "Yeah, Kara, it's me." He brushed a light kiss to her mouth and then pulled her close once again. "You were dreaming."

She sighed heavily and then sank into him, her arms wrapped loosely around his back, her entire form cradled in the warmth of his chest. He rocked her gently back and forth and listened as her breathing slowed. He could feel her heart return to a normal rhythm and breathed his own sigh of relief. She'd had a few dreams in the past few days, but this was by far the worst.

Too quickly, she pulled away, pushing the covers off and rising on shaky legs. Lee tried to offer her a hand, but Kara waved him away, making it slowly to the basin of water in the corner of the room and splashing the frigid liquid on her face. As she patted her pale skin dry, she asked with forced cheerfulness, "So, what slop did you bring me today?"

Shaking his head, Lee rose and crossed the room, standing behind her. She looked up and caught his face in the mirror and the haunted look in her eyes all but brought him to his knees. "Kara, what did you dream?"

She stared at him for a handful of heartbeats and then sharply shook her head. Crossing back to the bed, she grabbed for her cargos and pulled them on. "It was just a nightmare, Lee. Drop it."

He had no intention of dropping it. Kara had to know that. However, as he went back to her side, ready to question her further, the unmistakable scream of ships breaking atmo could be heard directly above their heads.

Their eyes snapped to each other, both of them keenly aware of that sound and the handful of ships that could make it. Assuming full-on soldier mode, Lee and Kara charged out of the tent, joining a handful of others in the small path between tents.

Everyone's faces were turned upward, watching as the defined outline of Cylon Raiders swooped overhead. Lee felt Kara's cold fingers curl around his and he pulled her close to his side, squeezing her hand. He wanted to offer her reassurance, but a cold fist of dread had settled in his gut. He could only conjure a few reasons the Cylons might be here and none of them were good.

"My Gods."

They turned to find Cally and the Chief standing behind them, Cally's very pregnant belly protruding through her jacket. The looks on their faces must have mirrored Lee's and Kara's, but it chilled him all the same.

Where was his father? The Pegasus and Galactica should have shot these frakkers out of the sky. But then Lee saw it, the distinct warped star of a Basestar descending to the surface over fifty miles away. This wasn't just a scouting party, it was a full-on invasion.

"What are we going to do?" Cally breathed, her hand wrapped tight in her husband's.

Lee wished he had an answer. His first impulse was to find a radio and call Galactica, but he knew the Old Man would have jumped away by now. Preservation of the Fleet was top priority in situations like this. And it wasn't as if they hadn't made plans for this eventuality. It's a good thing Lee had found himself on the surface.

Ready to offer some empty words of comfort, Lee was stopped as Kara spoke beside him, her voice a low rasp, but still strong. "What we always do. Fight 'em 'til we can't."

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The next few hours—days—were chaos. Baltar's surrender and the Cylons' possession of the city didn't come as a surprise to anyone. The sight of Centurions marching down rows, guns drawn, was unpleasant, but not unexpected. The sight of skin jobs—Sixes, Eights, Threes, Ones—were a common occurrence now.

Kara had been glad to see an absence of Leobens. She had feared his return more than the others, more than Simon or Doral or even Six. She feared that her dream from the day of the occupation had been a portent. Every hour that went by without an appearance from Leoben was like a blessing.

Lee was gone again, busy forming the resistance, trying to stay three steps ahead of machines. He came back every night exhausted. Kara was, of course, annoyed that Lee didn't want her out in the trenches, fighting with him. He reasoned that in these first formative days the chance for discovery was much higher; he refused to risk her safety or their child's for anything.

Eventually, she'd agreed to stay out of it—for now—and only because she could see how much he truly feared for her and their child. It also took about three hours of negotiation and a reminder that she was by far the best tactician he knew. And, of course, he'd had no argument for that. But like the pigheaded, stick up his ass CAG he could be, he still insisted she stay out of the spotlight, at least for a while.

Kara chuckled softly. He thought here, in her tent, she'd be safe. That was a pipe dream. There was no "safe" anymore. Their home had been overrun by their enemy; an enemy that could kill or kidnap anyone at any time.

The baby kicked, a strong punch to her right side and she rubbed the spot. He or she didn't like the stress, the anxiety that Kara found pulsing through her veins at all hours of the day or night. She tried to stay calm, tried to eat and sleep as a normal person, but it was growing more difficult every day.

She heard the shuffling sound of Lee's feet outside the tent and couldn't help smiling as his weary form all but tumbled into the tent. He'd been gone since before dawn and now it was after midnight. He looked exhausted and the loopy grin he fixed her with relayed to Kara just how tired he was. Plus, he was scruffy—Lee had apparently forgone shaving in the past few days in order to have the extra ten minutes to strategize.

"Hey," he murmured softly, pulling at his jacket and letting it hit the dirt floor. Kara rose quickly as Lee swayed on his feet.

"Hey, yourself." Kara put her arm around his shoulders and guided him toward the bed, helping him to sit before she kneeled, albeit awkwardly, before him to take off his boots. Lee rocked a bit from side to side and Kara could only smile. "If I didn't know better, Adama, I'd say you were drunk."

"Nope, just wiped." As she wrenched his second boot free, Lee released the deepest sigh and flopped back onto the bed. "You're an angel," he murmured, his arm flailing towards her uselessly.

Smirking, Kara crawled onto the bed beside him, trying to get his body under the covers. "Not quite, Apollo. You're just delirious."

Lee chuckled softly, but didn't contradict her and Kara guessed she had about ten seconds before he was out cold. Moving his head onto the pillow, she shoved his legs under the covers, crawling in beside him. The night of the occupation she'd given up any pretense of not being with Lee. Life was obviously too short—a lesson she was slow in learning, but had finally subscribed too. Who cared what others thought? She loved Lee and he loved her and she was going to share her bed with him, damn it.

As she tucked herself into his side, she heard Lee sigh with content, his arm automatically wrapping around her shoulders and pulling her close. She felt the slightest bit of pressure as his lips brushed across her scalp and then a murmured, "I love you," followed by the deep, even breathing of Lee asleep.

With a sigh, Kara clung to him, glad he was out and therefore unable to hear the tremor in her voice as she whispered back, "I love you too, Lee." She then closed her eyes and began to pray.

_Lords of Kobol, please keep your son, Lee Adama, safe. Please provide for him and his child … _

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7 Months After the Groundbreaking Ceremony – Week 4 of the Cylon Occupation

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Word spread quickly of Roslin and Tigh's disappearances. There was a heavy pall hanging over the camp now, one that unnerved the former military on the planet. It appeared no one was safe from an extra long look or the possibility of undergoing Cylon interrogation.

Lee and Kara tried to pretend it didn't matter. As more of their friends and former officers mysteriously disappeared only to reappear days later, bloody, beaten and malnourished, they never mentioned it.

Until one night the Chief arrived at their tent, breathless and tense.

"Apollo. They know you're here."

Lee had assumed one of his saving graces was the fact that he wasn't on any manifest the Cylons could get a hold of. As far as they were concerned, Lee "Apollo" Adama was commanding a battlestar that had jumped away a month ago. Only a handful of people knew he was on the surface and none of them were talking.

But it appeared someone had. Lee rose, ushering Galen to a chair, while Kara stayed rooted to the bench, her hand automatically resting over her belly. "What happened?"

Tyrol recounted in sketchy detail what he knew: someone, they still couldn't determine who, had gone to the Cylons looking for asylum. They had taken a list of names and Lee's had been on it.

Lee glanced to Kara noting the paleness of her features. Frak.

"Chief, thanks for letting me know." Lee tried to usher him out the door, but Galen stopped, eyes darting between him and Kara, his expression serious.

"You might want to think about making yourself scarce." As neither Lee nor Kara had a response to that, he continued. "Our base isn't big, but it's got a few corners. We could set up you up down there with a bedroll and some food. It's not glamorous, but it's the best we've got."

Kara rose abruptly, taking their half-eaten dinner plates to the small basin of water that served as the sink. Lee watched her go, not missing the tension in her shoulders.

"Thanks, Chief. I'll keep it in mind."

Galen threw one last look in Kara's direction and then, with a sympathetic smile to Apollo, he was gone.

Silence reigned in their tent. Lee stared at Kara, waiting for her to turn and berate him for being so stupid as to come down to the planet. Waiting for her to remind him that he had promised not to leave her or the baby and what the frak did he think he was doing? Waiting for her to push him away, so he'd be glad to leave her behind.

That's what he imagined she'd do and maybe the old Kara would have. But not now. Instead, she kept her back turned, and didn't say a word.

Her silence was worse. It told him that she knew Starbuck couldn't fly her way out and Apollo wouldn't be able to charm his way out. It told him she was petrified. But try as he might, Lee could find no words to break the silence, so Kara did it for him.

"The Chief's right." Her voice was quiet, airy, but it carried to Lee and made his heart heavy in his chest. "You should go into hiding."

He crossed the tent to her in three steps and took her elbow, gently turning her around. Meeting her gaze, he said, "Come with me."

With a deep breath, Kara studied his face and then shook her head. "I can't. Too many skin jobs have seen me. My sudden disappearance would not go unnoticed."

Lee knew that was true; over the past month as he and the Chief and a handful of others had been slowly building the resistance, he had worked diligently to keep himself out of the skin jobs' line of sight. A few of the Centurions might have caught a flash of him, but not the models. It appeared his stealth was working in his favor.

"Kara, I—"

"Lee, don't fight this. You can't win. You won't." With a fierce Starbuck stare, she took his cheeks in her hands and told him, "You are not going to die down here. The best way to make sure that happens is to get you gone. I don't—"

Her eyes clouded for a moment and she broke the intense stare, stepping back from Lee and crossing the tent. She sat heavily on their bunk, one hand rubbing her belly while her eyes stared at the dirt floor.

After a prolonged silence, Lee followed her. Sitting beside her, he slipped an arm around her back, and Kara leaned into him, her head resting on his shoulder. "It'll only be for a little while," she murmured, her hand resting on Lee's thigh. He clasped it in his.

It pained him, in ways that were worse and different from the morning of her wedding, to leave her. Turning and walking away from her among those trees had seemed like the hardest thing to do. Now, it appeared leaving her in this tent, pregnant with his child would assume that honor.

"I'm sorry, Kara," he whispered, pressing a kiss to her hair.

Shaking her head, she lifted her face and met his eyes. "It's not your fault, Lee." Ducking her head once more, she murmured, "It's mine."

He sighed heavily, tension radiating down every limb. "Kara, I don't want to go through this again."

She either hadn't heard him or didn't agree. Lee figured it was the latter. "If I hadn't left you that night, you wouldn't have needed to come down to the surface. We'd both be on the Pegasus right now, working with the Old Man and the rest of the fleet to figure out a plan. You know it."

Okay, so he did. But it didn't change their current circumstance. "Kara, we can't do this. We can't sit around and think 'what if.' A million different things could have been different at a million different moments. What if the Cylons had never attacked? What if you had been in your plane during the first wave? What if I had died on board Colonial One?"

She gripped his hand hard, but didn't offer a counter argument. "We made choices, Kara. We had to. In hindsight, they may seem like the wrong choices, but they're the ones we made. We have to live with them, deal with them and move on."

Kara nodded. "I know, I know you're right and normally, I'd be all about the fighting. It's just …"

Lee placed his arm back around her waist and pulled her close. She came willingly. "Things are different now," she whispered.

He couldn't help smiling. Hell yeah, things were different. He and Kara had finally admitted to loving each other and committed to making it work. Plus, they were going to have a baby. His free hand reached across to cover the one she held to her stomach. "I know," he whispered. "I don't want to do this, Kara."

She sighed and then straightened, a stern Starbuck expression back on her face. "Well, tough, Apollo. You have to. So, suck it up."

The gleam in her eye and the harshness of her voice caused them both to laugh outright and Lee leaned forward and kissed her. They hadn't really kissed since the first day he'd come down to the planet. Better not to tempt themselves when it seemed that was one step Kara wasn't ready to take.

But she kissed him back, her hands cupping the back of his head, her body pressing intimately against his. Lee supported her, knowing how much her lower back was beginning to hurt and gently laid her back on the cot. He just wanted to be close to her.

Her stomach did present something of an issue. With a grin that Kara returned, Lee moved along her side, bringing their faces—and mouths—into alignment. Leaning forward, his lips brushed hers. "Better?"

"Shut up and kiss me, Adama," she answered, one hand curling into the front of his jacket and bringing them back together. He loved kissing Kara, that hadn't changed. He licked his tongue along the roof of her mouth and her teeth and then tangled it with hers. He could barely breathe, but he didn't care. He just wanted to keep kissing her.

One hand drifted to her front and Lee felt her swollen breast under his hand. As he closed his hand over it, seeking out the nipple, Kara moaned, pulling back throw her head against the pillow. Lee paused. Kara wasn't quiet during sex, but she'd never quite had that reaction when he'd touched her chest before.

"Don't stop," she panted and Lee couldn't believe how the breathlessness of her voice aroused him. "It's so …" She bit her lower lip as Lee continued his ministrations, mesmerized by the pure desire on her face. "So sensitive," she murmured, before bringing herself forward and grinding her mouth against his.

Stunned by her reaction, but not complaining, Lee returned her kiss, moving to her other breast. Kara moaned into his mouth, a small mewl coming from the back of her throat. He longed to be one with her again, his cock pounded painfully at the thought of sinking into her heat and finding release. Gods, he wanted her.

As if reading his mind, one of Kara's wandering hands found its way to his crotch, and she rubbed her palm over the obvious bulge there. "Want something, Lee?" she panted between kisses as he moved his lips down the column of her neck.

"You." The sound was guttural and he hardly recognized it as his own. "Gods, Kara. I love you."

Her nimble fingers had made quick work of his pants and belt and Lee almost embarrassed himself as her cool hand wrapped around him. With a stuttering breath, he pulled back, burying his face between her breasts as she slid her cupped hand up and down, slowly, perfectly.

He could feel his release building and he wanted more than anything to come inside her. "Kara," he murmured, not at all sure what he was asking or if she even understood.

"I want you in me," she breathed, her lips at his ear before they pressed to his temple. "Please, Lee."

He didn't need to be asked, told or ordered twice. Rolling away from her, Lee tried to think despite the pounding of blood in his lower regions. If kissing her had been a a little hard, Lee wasn't quite sure how they would logistically manage actual sex.

Kara's face flushed a delicious shade of pink as she looked to Lee and then to her stomach. "Well, this is a little inconvenient."

Lee smiled and took her hand, pressing a kiss into her palm. "Not at all," he murmured, shifting to recline slightly against the head of the bed. He then tugged slightly on Kara's hand.

In this position, it was easier for him to direct Kara to sit astride him and she did. With a smile he could almost characterize as shy, she lifted herself onto her knees, leaning back to lift her shirt over her head. Lee's hands followed bare skin, cupping her sensitive breasts, rolling one nipple between his fingers. She moaned, loud and long and threw her shirt across the room before crushing her lips back to his. Lee smiled against her mouth, wrapping one hand into her hair so he could better explore her delicious mouth.

With a gasp, she pulled back, reaching between them to get to his belt and pants. Lee helped her, stopping for a moment to suck one nipple into his mouth. She groaned again and this time panted, "Lee, you frakker. Would you hurry the frak up?"

He grinned and then pulled back undoing his belt while Kara shimmied her pants and underwear down. With a frustrated grunt, she only managed to get them midway down her thighs. Lee reached forward and still her hands. "It'll have to do," she told him with a smirk. In answer, Lee leaned forward and found her wet and ready for him. With a small moan of anticipation, he took himself in hand and Kara leaned toward him.

Her fingers curled around his own as he guided his swollen cock into her. With a joint sigh of relief, they sat still for a moment, enjoying the feel of being together, of being connected in a way they hadn't for so long.

Forcing his eyes open, Lee saw the look of bliss on Kara's face. With a soft kiss to her parted lips, he saw her eyes meet his. "Love you," she murmured as she started to move slowly above him.

Watching her like this was by far the most erotic thing he had ever seen. Lee stared, doing his best to join her rhythm, but finding his range of movement severely limited in his current position. Instead, he placed his hands on her hips, squeezing tightly as he felt her muscles clench tightly around him.

She came harder than she ever had before, he was pretty sure. He had heard a rumor once upon a time that women were often more sensitive during pregnancy, but he had never expected this.

With his blood pounding through his veins and his release close, Lee surged forward and clamped his lips around one of her taut nipples and came just as hard.

Kara clutched at his shoulders, her body still moving in a slow, circular pattern as he succumbed to her. "Lee, Lee." His name fell from her lips like a litany and Lee drew her tight to his chest. How was going to be separated from her for even a moment? Gods, it wasn't fair.

Slowly, Kara's breathing returned to normal and she lifted her head. Brushing some hair off her shoulder, Lee told her, "I love you, Kara. You and the baby and no matter where I am, that's not going to change."

"I know." Her fingers traced his collarbone and down his chest, until she flattened her palms against his abdomen and spread them around his ribs, embracing him, their bodies still joined. "I believe you, Lee. I do."

Lee wanted to stay like that forever, but the position was decidedly uncomfortable for her. Reluctantly, he sat her up and helped her extricate her body from his. Both of them sighed with a bit of sadness once they were again separate entities. Then, Lee reached for the covers at the end of the bed and dragged them over both of them. Kara snuggled into his warm form as she had every night for the past month. He rested his hand over the roundness of her belly and felt her fingers entwine with his.

"We're gonna get out of this," she told him.

"We are," he whispered. "And then we'll be together."

"I know." Nuzzling her cheek into his chest, she got as close as she could, Lee's arm around her shoulders and soon fell asleep. Lee found himself a wake a little longer, watching her and wondering if their baby would have her eyes, her smile, her fire.

He hoped so.

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8 Months After the Groundbreaking Ceremony – Week 8 of the Cylon Occupation

---- ----

Lee had counted the hours until nightfall. Frak, he'd been counting the days since her last visit. These moments between them, down in the dark of the resistance's base, wrapped around each other, breathing the same air, were the only thing that had gotten him through the past month.

It annoyed him to no end that he was stuck down here, ordering others into battle, knowing some of them wouldn't come back as they escalated the frequency and intensity of their attacks. They were making progress, it was true, but he still felt like a hypocrite—a man who expected others to fight his battles for him.

The sound of the small door opening above raised his spirits in a second. Turning toward the ladder, he waited to see Kara's familiar shape descending toward him and felt a palpable clench of his heart when only the Chief appeared.

"Where is she?" Lee almost rammed the Chief against the nearest wall, his fear all-consuming.

"I don't know, Apollo." The Chief's gaze told him that was the truth and that if he could change it, he would. "She's gone."

---- ----

Kara couldn't believe how the simplest tasks had suddenly become so time-consuming. Showering and going to the bathroom were now full-blown productions as she had to brace herself against the nearest wall to ensure her top-heavy upper torso didn't betray the rest of her body to gravity.

Lee thought it was a riot of course. He didn't laugh outright, but she caught the glimmer in his eyes that told her he was fighting back a chuckle as she lamented her need to take thirty-minute showers now. She'd threatened he would just have to carry their next kid, to which all the mirth had left his face to be replaced by something serious and gentle.

Then he had kissed her to within an inch of her life.

As she rounded the corner and could see her tent coming into view, she prayed they'd have a good visit tonight. It might be the last one before the birth.

The idea made Kara's heart flutter. When the baby was residing inside her, it was only an idea, a distant dream. Soon, it would be a flesh and blood human being. A life solely dependent on Kara and Lee for all its needs. And that scared the crap out of her.

What kind of mother could she be? She would never hurt her child in the way she had been hurt, she already knew that. She couldn't. She already loved this baby more than she believed her mother had ever loved her.

"Kara."

She stopped abruptly, blood freezing in her veins at the sound of his voice. Lifting her eyes, she was confronted with his familiar face and she struggled to keep her breakfast down. "What do you want?"

Leoben Conoy stepped forward, causing Kara to retreat. He stopped, brow furrowing in puzzlement as if he didn't understand her reticence. "I came for you, Kara." His eyes flicked down to her stomach and then back to her face. "You're pregnant."

"No kidding," she scoffed, wishing she could run. It was no use; in her present condition she'd never able to out pace him. "Why are you here?"

He stepped toward her again and Kara found herself backed up against an empty tent. With no where to run, she braced herself, forcing her eyes to his face, forcing herself not to flinch as he came so close she could hear him breathe. "I'm here for you, Kara. You have a destiny. I'm going to show you God's way."

"I don't believe in your god," she bit out.

"It doesn't matter, Kara." Leoben's hand lifted to touch her face and she saw it coming. "He believes in you."

The feel of his rough palm on her cheek spurred Kara into action. Kicking out violently, she hit his shin hard, and darted to the side, running toward the center of town where someone might see her. Leoben began to jog behind her.

"Kara. It's no use. You were meant to be here. I was meant to find you."

_You didn't find me_, she wanted to scream. _Lee did_. But she held her tongue. The last thing any of them needed was the Cylons using Lee as leverage. She zigzagged, hoping to throw him off her trail. There was still no one in sight and Kara's heart was pounding.

Her breath was starting to come in gulps, but it was the twinge of pain her abdomen that forced her to stop. She didn't want to endanger the baby. Cradling her stomach, she panted, trying to catch her breath. "I can care for you, Kara. You and your child."

She turned her head and glared, but he kept coming anyway. She straightened slowly the closer her got and jerked back as he moved to touch her again. "You'll be safe with me, Kara. Safe and well-fed and warm."

"I'm fine out here, thanks." She slowly began walking and she heard the squelching sound of his feet in the mud following.

"Kara, please don't make me hurt you."

She froze. He sounded so frakking calm, but she knew he could turn in a second. She remained still, feeling him approach. His cold hand on her shoulder almost caused Kara to retch, but she squared her jaw and turned to him. "You wouldn't."

"Who's the father, Kara?" There was a steeliness in his gaze that made her shiver.

"My husband. Anders." She prayed he didn't know about the sterility.

"He died, didn't he?" He removed his hand and circled to stand before her.

"Yes." Kara blinked hard against sudden tears. "Of pneumonia, about a week before you got here."

Something akin to sympathy shone in his eyes as he reached for her hand. She let him take it, feeling nothing in the cold, stiffness of his touch. "I'm sorry, Kara. It is a tragedy. But it was God's will."

She snatched her hand back, anger rising to replace her numbness. "How can you say that? Sam was a good man."

"Yes, but he would have been a deterrent to you following your true path. He would have protected you, Kara, protected you from _me_." Again, harshness coated his pupils and his voice hardened. "And I would have had to kill him."

Kara swallowed hard. She was suddenly very glad she had lied about the baby's father and that Lee was nowhere Leoben could get at him.

"I'm not special, Leoben." She wished more than anything he could understand that. Why did he seem so fascinated by her, the eternal screw-up? "Your God doesn't need me for anything."

"Yes, he does, Kara." He stepped forward and took her hand once more, tightening his hold so she had no chance to escape. "I'll show you."

He began walking toward the high-rise monolith at one end of the base. She knew it housed a prison underneath, but no one was quite sure what the floors stretching into the sky could possibly be for. An image of the baby farm on Caprica flashed through her mind and she convulsed beside him.

Mistaking her discomfort, Leoben stopped and told her, "If you make a sound, I will hurt you, Kara. And you don't know what that might do to your baby."

Frakker. He had her and he knew it. Nodding once, she remained silent as they continued their inexorable walk toward Cylon headquarters.

---- ----


	6. Chapter 6

Title: **Captive**, Chapter 6

Pairing: Lee/Kara

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Lee was with Kara on New Caprica when the Cylons attacked. Now, that she's been kidnapped by Leoben—and is eight months pregnant with his child—what will Lee do to get her back? And what if he can't?

Disclaimer: If it was mine, I totally would have spilled the beans about the final cylon by now.

A/N: Everyone's feedback to chapter 5 was so great, I thought I'd post this one right away. It's a little short, but there's more coming, rest assured.

---- ----

Lee sifted through the latest communiqués from the Fleet. His father had sent word that they were still at least eight weeks from extraction. He reminded his son not to lose hope, to keep up morale and to stay safe. He told him to keep fighting.

With a sigh, Lee sat heavily in a chair. Did his father really think he would give up now? Fighting was their only option; of course they would keep going. Putting down the papers, he glanced to the map of the camp and its surrounding areas. It was a miasma of metal scraps, bits of canvas, and anything else that could be used as a landmark. Over the past four weeks, the resistance had been using exes made of black electrical tape to mark the Cylon targets they'd taken out. There were far too few exes on the board.

He closed his eyes, tipping his head back against the wall. He felt an overwhelming urge to crawl into a hole and just stay there. He knew he couldn't, he knew he had a duty to the resistance, to his father, to the Colonial Fleet.

But his first and most important duty was to Kara … and he had failed her.

It took a full week after she disappeared to fully piece together what had happened. The Chief pieced together a few accounts from timid settlers who had seen Kara walking with a skin job with spiky blond hair. Lee knew it was Leoben. The frakker had a sick fascination with Kara that chilled Lee's blood.

Bile rose in his throat and Lee fought it down. He spent a majority of his waking hours doing everything he possibly could not to think about Kara and what she was enduring. None of their contacts within the prison had seen a trace of her. They'd reported on the status of Laura and Tigh and a few of the others, but never Starbuck.

Lee didn't want to think what that meant. He didn't let the "d" word enter his consciousness. He wasn't going to give up hope, not on Kara or their child or the bright shiny future they were going to have together, damn it!

Taking a deep breath, Lee opened his eyes and sat up. There had to be work to do, some form of distraction.

He rose and paced toward the map, studying it. His eyes lingered on the prison and the Cylon headquarters that loomed above. He knew that's where she was, and despite his overwhelming desire to storm the place, guns blazing, he knew they couldn't. The resistance would only get one shot at escaping and it couldn't tip its hand. Not for one person. Not even for Kara.

Closing his hand into a fist, he took another deep breath. _Hang on, Kara_, he prayed. _Please_.

---- ----

9 Months After the Groundbreaking Ceremony – Week 11 of the Cylon Occupation

---- ----

Kara could hear the explosions. She knew how close they were, how deadly, how successful just from the sound. It was a combination of years of training and a lot of instinct.

With each detonation, she'd imagine Lee out there, giving orders, keeping people safe. She imagined he was planning ops, staying three steps ahead of everybody else and waiting for the Old Man to return. She imagined he couldn't sleep at night, worrying about her, worrying about the baby.

Sometimes she imagined he'd been found or gotten caught in the crossfire … then, she stopped imagining.

The baby kicked and Kara grasped the distraction greedily. She couldn't sit here and dwell on doomsday scenarios. She had to stay as optimistic as possible, because as soon as she gave birth, as soon as her baby was given the all clear, Kara was figuring a way out of this hell. She'd pondered various methods of escape since her capture, but she hesitated. She couldn't risk her baby or her own health. And she wasn't quite moving at optimal speeds.

Rubbing her stomach gently, she felt another thwap, this one distinctly a tiny fist and she couldn't help smiling. "You come by that honestly," she murmured, glad Leoben had left so she could talk unabashedly to her belly.

She refused to give him the satisfaction—she wouldn't speak to him or her child. It was one bit of leverage she had and she'd use it.

Of course, Leoben had been decidedly patient. Despite all of her attempts to rile him, he just smiled and reminded her that she, Kara Thrace, had a destiny and God's will would be done.

She wanted to claw his eyes out and stomp through into nothing with her boot.

But, so far, he hadn't given her cause, not really. Aside from kidnapping her, Kara figured she had it better than most: cushy digs, three squares a day, warmth, a soft bed.

And she hated every second of it. Only the knowledge that her baby needed her to be strong and healthy kept Kara from declaring a hunger strike or throwing herself against the bars of her cage with abandon. Leoben had only threatened her baby once—but Kara didn't trust him not to do it, if it suited his purposes.

He'd also said that once the baby was born, the real work would begin.

Kara shivered, pulling the covers back up to her chin. Night was falling. The high windows near the ceiling showed a darkening sky. She could feel the pull of sleep and she knew she should rest, but every time she closed her eyes, all she saw was Lee and it hurt. It hurt to dream of him and then awake to find he wasn't there.

She was able to go for a few days taking only quick catnaps, before her body gave out and she'd sleep uninterrupted, dreamless for six hours, maybe eight. Only absolute exhaustion kept the dreams—and the nightmares—away.

Kara needed them to stay far away if she was going to make it through this. She couldn't remember Lee or how stupidly happy they'd been for those few short weeks. The pain of that loss incapacitated her and she couldn't let it.

Kara Thrace was supposed to fight. Resting her hands lightly on her swollen belly, she knew she had to.

---- ----

Lee was reviewing their latest battle strategy, when the Chief, looking far worse for wear, stumbled in.

Eyeing the man with a bemused expression as he crossed the small space and picked up a sheaf of papers, Lee waited a beat and then asked, "How's Cally doing?"

Galen frowned mightily and then crossed his arms over his chest, giving up any pretense of doing actual work. "She's in a lot of pain and mad as hell. She kicked me out."

Lee did his best to suppress a chuckle, but he couldn't help it. It took Tyrol a minute, but soon they were both laughing. Gods, it felt good to laugh.

"I hear that's quite common, actually." Lee had often wondered what choice words his mother had used to describe his father on the day of his birth. Knowing his mother's deep aversion to pain he guessed they were colorful—and many.

"I know, but …" Tyrol's gaze drifted back to the door and he shrugged. "I feel like I should still be there."

Stepping forward, Lee clapped a hand on his shoulder. "Then go back. I'm sure Cally's already regretting sending you away." As he turned back to his own work, he added, "Besides, I'm the one you should feel sorry for. Can you imagine what Kara's gonna say when—"

He stopped mid-stride, mouth open, eyes burning. He hadn't spoken her name aloud since she'd been taken. It hurt.

Pressing a hand over his heart, Lee closed his eyes and counted to ten. He also knew that Kara was due any day now. They were running out of time. He had promised he'd be there when she gave birth. She had threatened his life of course, and certain parts of his anatomy if he even tried to chicken out. Lee had simply kissed her and told her that Apollo did not chicken out. She had laughed then and fallen asleep in his arms.

Oh, the memory hurt more. Lee pressed his hand harder, knowing he was going to bruise his chest. He could barely breathe.

"Apollo."

He turned abruptly at the sound of the Chief's voice and met the man's sympathetic gaze. "We're going to find her. You know that, right?"

He didn't trust himself to speak, so he just nodded.

The Chief, his expression still grim, studied Lee for a handful of heartbeats and then gestured back to the trapdoor. "I'm gonna head back. See what I missed."

Lee gave him a tight smile, waiting until the other man had left to slump into the nearest chair. Gods, what if he missed it? What if he missed the birth of his daughter? Would Kara ever forgive him? Would he ever forgive himself?

Resolved to be present for the birth of his child, Lee set back to work, reexamining all they knew about that building.

----- ----

9 Months After the Groundbreaking Ceremony – Week 12 of the Cylon Occupation

---- ----

_Frak, it hurt! Gods, why did it hurt so badly? _

Kara wasn't normally afraid of pain. She'd learned early in her childhood how to compartmentalize it; how to keep from crying out when her mother slammed her fingers in the door; how to be silent when the crack of a belt slapped her bare back; how not to cry when she was locked in a closest for three days with no food or water.

But right now, she was crying and yelling all at once, because this was unlike any pain she had ever known.

"You're doing really well, Kara."

And _that_ wasn't helping. Simon's grating voice, coupled with Leoben's hovering presence had Kara on edge. Only the fact that the room's other occupant was an Eight gave her a bit of comfort. She didn't want to examine the reasons why.

"Okay. And rest." Kara slumped back against the pillows glad she didn't have to push for a minute. She was hot and sweaty and her hospital gown was clinging to her. She wanted a shower and a drink and maybe a stogie and not all in that order.

"You're doing great, Kara." She shuddered at the sound of his voice, right be her ear. Opening her eyes, she watched as Leoben, with all the benevolence he had ever shown her, dabbed her forehead with a cool washcloth. And while it felt wonderful, Kara batted his hand away and glared hard.

"I told you not to touch me," she growled, her voice hoarse from yelling.

Leoben backed up two steps, hands raised in supplication, but Kara still pinned him there with her gaze … right before she felt another contraction building.

Simon and his instruments confirmed it. "Okay, Kara. Time to push."

Pushing herself up onto her elbows, Kara bared down, gritting her teeth and gave it her best shot. She could vaguely hear Leoben counting to twenty slowly and the Eight reminding her to breath. Why couldn't they just leave her the frak alone!??!?

Completing another round of pushing, Kara fell back against the bed once more and closed her eyes. Why wasn't Lee here? He had promised, damn it. Promised he would help her and remind her to breathe and kiss her forehead and get her ice chips. Promised he wouldn't get mad when she broke his hand from squeezing so hard or when she called him and all the males in his family a few very upsetting names. He'd also promised not to tell the Admiral.

A tear leaked out of the corner of her eye and she let it fall. She was experiencing some of the worst pain of her life with her feet in the air and her legs spread wide, waiting for her child, for Lee's child to make an entrance. Right at this moment, she didn't care what Leoben or Simon or any of them thought of her.

Right at this moment she was just concerned with becoming a mother, with having a healthy child—with a finding a way for them both to be reunited with Lee and the Fleet.

"I think this is the last one, Kara," Simon told her at least thirty minutes later. She was mid-shove and she really wanted the kid to come right frakkin' now. "Yup, I can see the head. Come on, Starbuck. Keep pushing just a little more."

Kara did, she pushed and pushed and then felt immense relief just a second before hearing the joyous cry of her baby. It wailed like it would never stop and Kara couldn't help laughing through her tears. Definitely her kid.

"Is it okay?"

Kara couldn't see the baby, she could only see Simon and Eight and Leoben checking it over, cleaning it up, wrapping it in a blanket. But then, Leoben turned to her, cradling a pink-blanketed bundle in his arms and her heart skipped a beat. A girl …

With that patient smile, he handed the baby to Kara. "You have a beautiful baby girl, Kara," he whispered.

Fighting back another sob, Kara gazed into the face of her daughter for the first time. Gods, she was … well, kind of weird looking, and a little red, but she was perfect. And she was hers, hers and Lee's and the only thing that mattered to Kara.

Glancing up at Leoben, Kara kept her voice low and soothing as she told him, "If you ever touch my child again, I will end your miserable life."

His features hardened slightly as Kara smiled at him sweetly. She watched him retreat to the far side of the room and then she turned all of her attention back to her child.

Her daughter. What would Lee say? Frak, he wouldn't say anything. Knowing Lee he'd be crying just like she was. Hesitantly, Kara lifted her hand, and traced the gentlest finger along her daughter's cheek. The little girl's eyes fluttered open, a startling blue as her mouth rounded into a tiny 'oh' of surprise.

Kara's heart thudded against her rib cage. Oh Gods, she had created this. She had made this perfect, tiny person. She had never thought she'd do anything perfectly except fly a Viper and field strip an AK-47. But this, this was by far the most perfect, the most amazing thing she'd ever accomplished.

Closing her eyes, she allowed herself a prayer, keeping it silent, not even moving her lips for fear Leoben and the Cylons would try and decipher it later and use it against her.

_Lords of Kobol, please bless and protect your child, your newest life. Please keep her safe and happy and allow her to understand the extent of her mother's love. Please ease her mind and heart and give her the chance to know the wonderful man her father is. _

_Please protect her—my daughter—Aurora._


	7. Chapter 7

Title: Captive, Chapter 7

Pairing: Lee/Kara

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Lee is desperate to reach Kara now that she's given birth, but the mission to save the colonists must take precedence. Now that Aurora is born, what exactly does Leoben want with Starbuck?

Disclaimer: Nope, still not mine. I checked and everything.

A/N: Okay, so this chapter is pretty short (for me anyway), so I thought I would post it tonight and then post a longer one tomorrow.

Thanks to everyone for the great comments and feedback, it means a lot!

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10 Months After the Groundbreaking Ceremony – Week 15 of Cylon Occupation

---- ----

Lee was glad that only the Chief had come on this meet with him. He didn't want to have to worry about a big group of them traipsing through the woods waiting for Galactica's contact to make his or her presence known.

Plus, the Chief was notorious for sitting for hours and not saying a word. As Lee stared into the sky, watching the stars and the moon above his head as he counted down the hours until dawn, he was eternally grateful for that fact.

He'd known he wouldn't sleep out here—he barely slept at all anymore. He couldn't. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Kara … and now, he saw her face scrunched in pain, crying out for him, reaching for his hand.

And he wasn't there.

Then he'd see her holding a small pink bundle and know she was holding their daughter.

And he still wasn't there.

It was random chance that allowed one of their contacts to get word to Apollo that Kara Thrace had been spotted approximately three weeks ago in the hospital. Even more random that they'd been able to tell him she'd given birth to a beautiful baby girl after sixteen hours of labor. Mother and baby were both fine.

His heart had nearly ripped from his chest at the words. Mother and baby—Kara was a mother and she'd had his baby. And he had missed it. Rationally, he'd known he would, known that the chances of getting to Kara before she gave birth were slim, but it was still a blow. Could she forgive him? Could she forgive him for leaving her there, for not finding her, for not freeing her after nearly three months of captivity?

He prayed for her and their daughter now every night, every morning, before he ate, before he tried to sleep. He had begged their informant for the baby's name, but she'd shrugged sadly and informed him she'd been unable to see a birth certificate before she'd left. Swallowing down his disappointment, Lee had thanked her all the same and then retreated to his and Kara's tent and cried.

He felt the familiar sting of tears again and this time bit the inside of his cheek to keep them at bay. He was getting them back, both of them. His father was here now, and they'd be mounting an actual rescue very soon, within the month at least.

Still staring at the sky, Lee counted the stars and named each one after Kara.

---- ----

"The child is a complication I didn't expect."

Six and Eight both looked at him with narrowed eyes. "A child is not a complication, brother," the blonde admonished. "It is a blessing from God."

Leoben bit back a retort he knew would not be welcome here. Turning to other man in the room, he pleaded. "There must be something I can do."

Brother Cavil looked blithely unconcerned. Rolling a half-smoked cigar between his thumb and forefinger, he shrugged. "Take the child away. Kill it. What do I care?"

"You cannot kill an innocent child." Eight stepped into his line of sight, her five-foot nine-inch frame straightened to its full height. "That is an unacceptable solution."

"If the child is the obstacle, then remove the child." Cavil explained this as though he were speaking to children, as though a pat on the head and a hard candy would mollify them. Leoben thought he hated the man most for his condescension.

"No," he said with finality, watching Six and Eight visibly breath sighs of relief. "Kara would never forgive me if I let anything happen to the baby."

"How is the mother?"

He noticed how Six never used her name; he found that curious. "Fine, healthy, stubborn as ever. She refuses to let me hold the baby, bathe her, change her diaper." The weeks of dismissal burned his cheeks and he slammed a hard fist on the console before him, startling Cavil, but not the women. "Frak, she won't even tell me the child's name."

The four stood in silence for a moment and Leoben seethed. He had thought once Kara gave birth, she would begin to open to the possibility of starting a life, a real life with him. Of realizing that she had a destiny to fulfill and he was the one to guide her. He didn't understand how a woman with so much faith could be so blind to the fated path laid before her.

The baby had ruined everything. Kara was supposed to have been found unencumbered by any attachments. Her one and only serious relationship, with the youngest Adama, had ended and ended badly, per the Cylons' plan. It was a set-up, made to ensure that when the time came, Kara Thrace would be ready to embrace Leoben as her guide, her lover, her confidant. To ensure that they would both meet her destiny head on.

It wasn't happening. Kara had opened herself to another, formed an attachment. It was more than sex, more than physical intimacy. It was love, Leoben saw it in her eyes every time she gazed at the little girl. While she refused to speak or coo or even tease the child in his presence, there was an unmistakable softness to her features now. The baby was a connection to her life before; a connection they had worked hard to prevent.

Why had God chosen such a difficult task for him and then decided to make it harder?

"It seems that for such a small creature, that baby has quite a bit of power."

Cavil's voice drew his concentration back to the present. Leoben squinted at the man as he added, "The baby is only four weeks old, Brother. Surely, you're not afraid of it."

No, just of it's mother, he thought, fighting back a smirk. Yes, Starbuck was at her finest when she was fighting to survive. The difference was she was now fighting for two people, herself and her child, and she knew that her determination was the only thing that would protect her child. The baby was the only reason she hadn't tried to escape, hadn't tried to kill him, hadn't—

Straightening quickly, Leoben smiled, a full-fledged grin. He knew what to do now.

Turning to Cavil, Leoben leaned across the console and plucked the cigar from his hands. Taking a puff, he let out slowly. "I think you're right, Brother. If the child is the obstacle, it must be removed."

---- ----

_You are so perfect. My Gods, how did you get to be so perfect? It must be your father's genes, he's pretty frakkin' perfect. _

_Oh Gods, you're going to be swearing like a marine before you're two. That's okay, I'll just blame your father … or maybe the Old Man._

_He's going to love you … I mean, get-away-with-murder love you. We'll have to keep the spoiling to a minimum, okay, baby girl? I don't want you growing up thinking you're entitled to things just because your last name is Adama._

_But I promise you won't grow up the way I did. You're never going to know pain like that, I swear. You're never going to think for a second that I don't love you, that your father doesn't love you. I guarantee he already does. He hasn't even seen you yet and I know that your daddy loves you more than anything else._

_But not more than I do. I love you, Aurora. I love you so much it hurts. I never understood that expression before, not really. Not until you. You are my reason for living, nugget. I never really understood that before either. I always thought it was pretty stupid to live for someone else, but right now, in this moment, I want to do everything for you. I want to show you everything I can, every planet, every plane, every color of the rainbow, every piece of music, every work of art. I want you to see everything and I want to be with you when you do._

_Gods, Aurora, I wish you hadn't been born like this. I'm grateful you're here with me, grateful that I have you to focus on, to care for, but you shouldn't have to worry about keeping your mom sane. You're only a month old. You shouldn't have to worry about anything._

_But know this, I will protect you, no matter what. I will love you and care for you and make sure that you are never hungry or hurt or cold or alone, ever. _

The baby yawned and Kara smiled through her tears and continued her silent monologue.

_Lee, I wish you could see her. She's beautiful and perfect. She yawns like you and I think she even has your nose, thank the Lords, because I don't wish mine on anybody. I think she might have my chin though and my cheeks. Not sure about the eyes yet. The doc told me once, before all of this, that all babies have blue eyes when they're born. We won't know for like eight more months. But that's good, because you'll be with us by then._

_I know you will, Lee. I know you're looking for me. And as soon as I can walk a few steps without feeling like my legs are going to give out, I'm coming to find you. Aurora and I aren't staying here a minute longer than we have to. We're going to be a family. I'm promising her and I'm promising you._

_Love you, Lee._

---- ----

His father had sent Sharon of all people. He wasn't sure if it was a tribute to his father's ridiculously inappropriate sense of humor or just really good strategy, but Lee had to admit he was more than surprised when he'd met her in the woods, in full pilot uniform, dogtags and all.

But she'd done her duty. She'd brought the intel and she was their ticket into Cylon HQ. That's where the launch keys were, that's where she'd go.

It was where Kara was too, he knew it. All through planning Lee had to physically restrain himself from adjusting the mission objective. Had to bite his tongue from screaming, "Frak the keys, we're getting Kara and my daughter out!"

The Chief seemed to know or at least he had a frakkin' good guess, because more than once he felt the other man's strong hand clasping his shoulder. He knew it was meant as a sign of solidarity, but Lee thought it only showed the others how weak he was.

He had to be better than this, he couldn't let personal feelings color his judgment or his tactics. Otherwise, not only would he lose Kara and his daughter, they'd lose all of humanity.

"Apollo, you with us?"

Even with one eye, Tigh could still be frakkin' intimidating. Blushing like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar, he straightened and said brusquely, "Yes, Colonel, of course."

"Good." The other man eyed him for a minute more and then nodded at Sharon to continue.

Sharon outlined the rest of the plan and they all nodded in agreement before turning back to Lee.

"All right. Sharon's going in tomorrow at oh-seven hundred. Duck and Tyrol will be standing by for the exchange."

The meeting broke and Lee made his way across the room to Sharon. She was already dressed in the clothes of her skin job counterpart and Lee fought the urge to shudder.

"Sharon, look."

She turned to him and Lee took a deep breath before continuing. "I think they're holding Kara in that building. She had the baby about a month ago and—"

"I'll keep an eye out, Apollo. But we only get one shot at this." Taking a step closer, she lowered her voice and asked, "Do you want me to go after Starbuck instead?"

Wide eyed, Lee stared at her, his traitorous heart screaming for him to say yes, while his dutiful brain spoke the right words. "No. Get the keys. We've got to get everybody out of here."

Sharon eyed him for a second longer and then nodded. "Helo, uh …" She glanced to her feet and Lee could swear she was blushing, if machines could at any rate. "Well, Helo told me to tell you, he's glad you didn't wuss out."

With a small snort of laughter, Lee nodded, vividly remembering Helo's thinly veiled advice that day so many months ago on the Pegasus.

"I'm glad I didn't either."

Lee turned from Sharon before she could see the pure despair in his gaze. He had to get Kara back. He had to.

---- ----


	8. Chapter 8

Title: **Captive**, Chapter 8

Pairing: Lee/Kara

Rating: PG-13 (parts of this chapter might bother some readers, but in concept only, there's nothing graphic)

Summary: Kara and Aurora are Leoben's prisoners. Can Kara get them out?

Disclaimer: Ron said maybe, if I was really, _really_ good I could have them … but then, I was really, _really_ bad and asked who the final cylon was. He rescinded his offer.

A/N: All right, kiddies. This chapter is not for the faint of heart. Like I said above, nothing graphic, but … well, you'll see.

Enjoy!

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11 Months After the Groundbreaking Ceremony – Week 17 of the Cylon Occupation

---- ----

Kara awoke slowly. She was so frakkin' tired since giving birth. Luckily, Aurora was a good baby who ate on a pretty normal schedule and would often sleep for three to four hours at a stretch, allowing Kara to doze as well.

But she could tell from the slight dampness on the front of her shirt that it must be time to feed again. Gods, she'd be grateful when her breasts were no longer emulating the teets on a cow.

_Are you ready, baby girl, for some lunch?_ She still wouldn't speak to her daughter aloud, but she smiled wide as she turned towards the bassinet right beside her bed.

And felt all color drain from her face as she found it empty.

Sitting up in a flash, Kara glanced all about her, throwing back the covers, wondering if she had fallen asleep with the baby on top of her, wondering if maybe she had rolled off. Oh Gods, had she suffocated her?

"Oh Gods," she breathed, her voice raspy from over a month of disuse. "Oh Gods, oh Gods," she kept muttering as she gently pawed through the covers and then, not finding her daughter ripped them from the bed.

She stripped it down, checking every inch of the bedroom, moaning the whole time and praying for guidance.

Kara sprinted to the bathroom realizing this was ridiculous. Her daughter couldn't sit up yet, let alone crawl. But maybe she had, maybe she was a miracle baby. She laughed a bit too giddily at the thought—Kara Thrace and her miracle baby.

It wasn't until she made it to the living room and started pulling at couch cushions that she finally put two and two together. The bastard.

"You bastard!" She screamed, a piercing wail that echoed through the empty apartment. She knew he could hear her and probably see her too. She knew the place was wired. She knew Leoben was watching her—with her baby in his arms.

"You bastard! I will kill you! Leoben, you hear me?" She stood, panting, in the middle of the room as if waiting for an answer and then she charged up the stairs taking them two at a time.

She grabbed for the door handle and pulled it hard. The heavy metal refused to yield, but Kara kept pulling with all her might. "Damn it, Leoben! Bring her back! Bring my daughter back to me right now!"

Knowing she had no hope of opening the door, Kara took a step back and actually slammed her body into it, shoulder first. The pain was instantaneous and spread down her arm and her side in a second. Ignoring it, she gritted her teeth and did it again. This time, she saw stars.

"Bring her back," she kept yelling, but she was tiring quickly, her body still not fully recovered from birth. After she gave the door a third body check and it still refused to budge, she began pounding her fists against it.

"Bring her back to me, Leoben! Bring her back right now!" She hit and hit and hit the door, until her hands were red, until the side of her wrists and her palms were turning an interesting shade of purple.

"Aurora," she finally breathed, feeling exhaustion overwhelm her. But she kept pounding until she heard something crack. The pain in her left hand was all-encompassing and Kara cradled it to her chest as she sank to the floor of the landing, tears falling down her face, sweaty hair matted to her forehead, nightgown stained with milk her baby needed.

"Bring her back," she kept murmuring, seeing spots and knowing the pain would overwhelm her soon. "Aurora, baby. I'm so sorry. Bring her back to me. Please."

With a choked sob, she fell unconscious.

---- ----

Leoben watched Kara's depleted body fall to the landing with horror and a bit of awe. He'd known how much Kara cared for her child, of course. He'd have to be blind not to see it.

But he'd had no idea the power this little child wielded over her. And how much power he in turn could wield with just the simple act of taking her away.

Aurora. It was a pretty name. Leoben stared down into the wailing child's face. She hadn't stopped crying since they'd entered the security room where each of the closed circuit TVs showed a different angle of the apartment. In fact, she'd begun to cry the minute she'd heard Kara's voice. And as Kara had grown more frantic, Aurora's cries had grown more desperate.

What an interesting bond between a mother and child. Leoben wondered if it was the kind of bond Kara would have with their child one day.

Trying to shush her as best he could, Leoben called for a Simon to attend to Kara's no doubt broken hand. He'd give her a few hours before returning to the apartment, she'd be asleep for that long at any rate.

And he needed to think of the best way to use this newfound information.

"You are indeed a beautiful little girl, Aurora." He pressed a kiss to her cheek and the baby cried louder.

---- ----

This time she awoke in a panic, but the warm familiar weight of her baby on her chest calmed her instantly.

Opening her eyes hesitantly, afraid it might be a dream, Kara felt her eyes well with tears as she saw Aurora's beautiful sleeping face before her.

Instinctively, she wrapped her arms around her and held her close, breathing in the scent of baby powder and milk. "I love you, I love you, I love you," she murmured over and over again, feeling Leoben's presence at her hip and ignoring it.

Gingerly, she sat up, wincing as she put too much pressure on her now bandaged hand. _Good move, Thrace, break some bones, that's a sure way to escape_. Readjusting Aurora against her, Kara smiled as the baby nuzzled its tiny head into her neck. Gods, she could sit like this forever. She'd never known such contentment.

"Aurora is a beautiful name, Kara."

Kara silently cursed. She'd known he was watching, but the fact that he'd managed to get even that bit of information out of her set her on edge. He'd never touch her daughter again, she'd already resolved herself to that.

Refusing to look at him, Kara kept her eyes locked on Aurora, one arm supporting her tiny bottom, while her other hand rubbed soothing circles on the baby's back.

"I realize that was painful before, Kara. What I did."

She glared at him, daring him to continue, daring him to justify kidnapping her child, separating them.

"But I will do it again, if you continue to deny your destiny."

Kara could not swallow her retort fast enough. "You'll never touch her again, you mother frakker. Just try it." She used her deadliest voice, her deadliest look, the one that made all men cower.

With his annoying brand of patience, Leoben stated, "You have to sleep sometime, Kara. You can't stay awake indefinitely."

"Try me." It was automatic, a reflex to always have the last word, but she knew he was right and it enraged her. Why did she have to be so weak as to need something as banal as sleep?

Leoben continued to stare, his eyes searching her face, his expression almost … what? Kind? Soft? Tender? No, Gods no, he was none of those things. It was an act, a form of manipulation. But as he continued to gaze upon her, Kara felt compelled to say something. "What do you want from me? What do I have to do so you won't take her again?"

She feared his answer almost as much as she feared asking the question.

His smile of triumph did nothing to ease her mind. "To do God's will," he told her almost eagerly, inching forward and placing his hand over the one she held to Aurora's back. Kara flinched away instantly and Leoben's face hardened for a second before he again found that faked tenderness. "You must admit that you love me, Kara. We are going to love each other; be a family."

Horrified wasn't a strong enough word to describe Kara's state of mind. "My destiny is to fall in love with you?" she asked scornfully, snorting derisively at the idea and turning away from him. He couldn't be serious—it was ridiculous, of course. But then why was her stomach starting to churn uncomfortably?

"Your destiny," he corrected her, patient once more, "Is to unite our peoples. We will be the model of human-cylon relations. One day you will come to me freely and you will kiss me and you will tell me that you love me."

Making sure to keep the baby as far away from him as possible, Kara leaned forward and spat out, "I'll die first."

His hand whipped out so fast she had no time to prepare for the hard sting of the slap against her cheek. The movement awakened Aurora and the little girl began to whimper with the suddenness of being roused and no doubt hungry too.

Trying to calm her, Kara ignored the throbbing in her cheek as Leoben rose, looming over her and intoned, "It is God's will."

No, it wasn't. It couldn't be. She would not accept that her destiny had anything to do with this monster before her. "I don't love you and I never will."

How could he stay so damn patient? Kara wanted to wipe that stupid ass grin off his face—with a knife if possible. "In time, you'll feel differently." He sounded so sure and that's what upset her more than anything.

"No, I won't." She loved Lee Adama and no one else. It had been quite that way for some time and she hated change, so Leoben was just going to have to learn to live with disappointment.

His smile turning a little sad, he sat beside her again, reaching for her hand, but Kara kept it far from him. "It's time, Kara. Time to surrender to your fate."

Her eyes flashed. "Wrong choice of words. I don't surrender."

He sighed, staring at the ground between his feet, before he rose slowly and headed toward the door. "You will," he told her quietly, his smile again sad, almost pitying before he turned and left.

As soon as he was gone, Aurora let out another wail and Kara immediately positioned her daughter against her breast. The little girl suckled eagerly and Kara tried to calm her own racing heart as she thought over Leoben's words. She'd rather die than allow that thing any control. She belonged to no one, except maybe Lee and she was only now starting to be okay with that.

Gazing down at Aurora, her heart tightened. She couldn't risk him taking her daughter away again though. Maybe next time it would be for good. Maybe she would never see her again. _Gods, I can't lose her_. She pressed a kiss to her forehead and rocked gently back and forth.

_Think, Thrace. You've gotten out of worse situations than this … well, maybe_. She glanced about the room, looking for a weapon, something heavy or sharp that she could end the frakker with.

There was nothing of course—the lamps were bolted to the tables, the tables were bolted to the floors. Even the bed and the chairs were all latched down. Apparently, her reputation had preceded her.

Aurora let go and sighed with content. Kara hefted the girl against her shoulder and rose slowly. Her body was still feeling the effects of her ill-advised imitation of a battering ram, but she made it to the bathroom, gently patting the baby's back to help with her digestion.

Flipping on the light, she grinned. Apparently, Leoben didn't know everything about her. Adjusting her hold on Aurora, she smiled down at the little girl, her eyes heavy again with sleep. "We're going to get out here, nugget. I promise."

---- ----

She crouched below the stairs, after placing Aurora in her bassinet and fashioning her weapon. She's wrapped an end of the broken shard of glass in one of the baby's diapers, not interested in adding deep lacerations to her list of injuries.

Her heart pounded as she waited what felt like hours for Leoben's return. It was time to get out here. Time to end this ridiculous charade and get back to Lee—back home.

Tightening her hold on her weapon, she heard the whisper of a key in the lock and then his grating voice. "Kara! Are you awake?"

He started down the stairs and Kara tensed, ready for a fight. She was always ready for a fight.

"Kara. Don't make this harder than it already is."

What? Like she was just going to admit she loved a machine? He had met her right? _Starbuck, nice to make your acquaintance_.

"I know you're here," he said with exasperation as he set down his keys and then began to slowly circle the living room.

And then he was in her reach and Kara lunged with a roar, pulling him into a chokehold before she stabbed the jagged piece of mirror into his carotid artery. "You will never touch my daughter again," she hissed in his ear as she dropped him to the ground, her nightgown now covered in blood.

He fell to his knees, gurgling and then fell forward. A puddle of dark maroon liquid encircled his head like a pool of demented light.

Kara stared for a moment, watching the puddle grow. She had never guessed there'd be so much blood.

Shaking herself from her momentary paralysis, she hurried to the bedroom, reaching for Aurora and grabbing the baby bag. Her daughter stirred once as she was lifted, but then quickly settled back against Kara's breast. "It's okay, little one. I've got you."

"Starbuck."

She whirled, surprised to find an Eight standing in the doorway, a look of reproach on her features. Glancing back to the room behind her, Eight shook her head. "You shouldn't have done that. He's not going to stop."

"Let us out of here." Kara did not beg and she wasn't begging now. But she could hear a slight plea to her voice and she hated it. She thought about rushing the cylon, trying to sneak past her, but if Eight even so much as touched a hair on Aurora's head, Kara knew she'd lose it.

Instead, she stood still and watched as Eight backed out of the room, closing the door behind her. "Everybody has a destiny, Starbuck."

Kara stood with Aurora in her arms, staring at the closed door for quite a while.

---- ----

She felt his return. The air turned colder, the room more dim. She sat in her robe, having taken a shower to wash his blood off. An Eight and a Simon had come by a few hours ago to dispose of the body. Kara guessed he'd been gone—dead—for about seven.

The sound of his footsteps on the stairs was heavy, final. Kara straightened, hiding her new weapon behind her back, hoping he would present her with another opportunity. He paused at the bottom of the stairs and regarded her. His expression was now more cold than tender. Kara smiled tightly. She preferred that.

"Have you had time to reflect on what you did?"

How condescending could he be? Kara had thought Lee had long ago cornered the market on—no, she wouldn't think about Lee, not now, not with _him_ staring down his nose at her.

"I had time to wash your blood off my hands," she told him sweetly, batting her eyelashes, daring him to come closer.

He sighed heavily and approached her cautiously. Just a few steps, not quite close enough. Kara's hand wrapped around the serving dish she'd found, big and heavy, and she knew she could get enough force behind it to at least stun him, if not knock him out.

"Kara, I don't know how else to get through to you."

"Then let me go." She searched his eyes looking for the tiniest hint of compassion there. "If you love me, you won't keep me here a prisoner. You have to know that coercing someone to love you will never work."

The smile slid from his features and this time she would have sworn it was replaced with pure sadness—if Cylons could feel sadness, could feel anything.

As he moved to encircle her waist with his arm, she swung out hard, catching his temple with the platter. He staggered back, crying out, his hand flying to the wound and coming back bloody.

"Kara," he murmured, eyes wide and hurtful as he sank to his knees and passed out.

Kara didn't hesitate this time. Dropping the plate, she charged into the bedroom and collected Aurora.

Back in the living room, her eyes darted up to the door and her heart almost stopped. He hadn't closed it. There was a sliver of light peeking through. Kara sprinted, taking the stairs two at a time.

"We're almost there, baby," she whispered, throwing up the door and running into the corridor—only to be stopped by another set of impenetrable bars.

"No." She gripped the bar tightly with her free hand and screamed, "Let me out of here! I don't belong here!"

Aurora woke up, crying now that her mother was so agitated.

And no one came.

---- ----

A new Leoben returned later that night. Kara and Aurora were in the living room when he entered. He regarded her for a moment and then, crossed to her, pressed a kiss to her hair and went to bed.

Kara and Aurora slept on the couch.

---- ----


	9. Chapter 9

Title: **Captive**, Chapter 9

Pairing: Lee/Kara

Rating: PG-13

Summary: The exodus of New Caprica begins. Will Lee find Kara and Aurora in time?

Disclaimer: It's amazing how much this _isn't_ mine. Really, it's staggering.

A/N: **ONLY 26 HOURS TO GO!!!**

That's all. Carry on.

---- ----

11 Months After the Groundbreaking Ceremony – Week 18 of the Cylon Occupation

Kara in Captivity: 14 weeks / Aurora's Age: 6 weeks

---- ----

Helo reviewed the messages from the surface, glad to note that Sharon had included the code they'd devised that told him she was all right. The past weeks had been murder, him waiting on this battlestar, one jump away from his wife who was quite literally walking amongst the enemy.

"Are the pilots ready?"

He glanced up at the Admiral's question and focused his thoughts on the task at hand. "Yes, sir. Kat and I have reviewed the rosters and pairings. We've got birds with pilots ready and at your command."

"Good." Adama checked something off a list and then slid another sheet of paper in front of him. "Make sure we've got the deck cleared and ready to go. Laird doesn't strike me as someone who knows quite what to do in combat."

Helo bit back a grin and nodded, making a note, as Adama added, "And check with Ishay and the medical team. I want Life Station stocked to the nines. I also want to know that if we can't find Cottle, we've got qualified personnel to look after our wounded."

"Yes, sir."

It was amazing how much the Admiral wasn't saying. They were about twelve hours from jump prep and the Old Man had yet to mention Kara or Lee. He knew he was desperate for news, had been more than relieved when he'd learned Lee was leading the resistance. He also knew that his anxiety had risen over the past few months as Kara's due date came and went … and there was no word from Apollo.

In truth, Helo's own anxiety was at an all-time high as well.

"All right, major. I think that's it." Adama handed across a stack of papers, signed orders and more checklists. Helo'd had no idea mounting a rescue would require so much paperwork.

Rising he offered the Old Man a salute and turned to leave, but was stopped by Adama's voice as he hit the hatch. "I should be a grandfather by now," he said softly.

Pausing, Helo turned slowly and smiled. "I know. I figure that kid's gonna be a hell of a looker, sir. Boy or girl."

Adama smiled affectionately at the thought. "And a handful too, what with Apollo and Starbuck as parents."

"Well, we wouldn't exactly know what to do with ourselves if the kid was mild-mannered, now would we?"

This time, the Old Man actually chuckled softly. "No, I suppose not." He sighed and stared at nothing for a moment before waving him off. "Dismissed, major."

Helo saluted again and then turned, shutting the hatch tightly behind him. About three meters down the hall, he paused and said another prayer. _Lords of Kobol, please deliver your son, Lee Adama and your daughter, Kara Thrace safely back to us. And please let them have a healthy grandchild for the Admiral._

---- ----

Kara's life became about boundaries.

She tested and patrolled the perimeter, learning what she could and could not do. Learning what would get her an acceptable response. She was used to it. She'd done the same thing years ago with her mother—learned that if she behaved in a certain way, she might be spared the rod for one night.

It was the same with Leoben—if she smiled at him when he returned to the apartment, he wouldn't ask her to lie with him. If she ate dinner with him and cleaned her plate, he'd bring her something for the baby.

Her life had become about boundaries.

She killed him three more times. Each time, he downloaded and came back, still patient, still smiling benignly.

"We're meant to be together, Kara. I'm meant to show you the reason why you've struggled and suffered for so long. God has sent me to you."

Kara didn't meet his eyes. "I don't believe in your God." It's what she always said.

A huge rumble sounded outside and Leoben's eyes cut to the window. The explosions were growing louder and more frequent and it set him on edge. That made Kara smile.

Night had fallen again and Leoben stood, framed in the bedroom doorway. "I do love you, Kara Thrace. Will you come and lie with me?"

She forced her eyes to his face and stared. After a moment, he shrugged. "I can wait. Good night."

As soon as the door was closed, Kara sank into the couch cushions, grateful that Aurora was already asleep in her bassinet. How much longer could she do this? _Come on, Lee. Hurry up._

---- -----

Lee watched Helo and Sharon hug, the grins on their faces so ridiculously happy it made him smile too. Until he felt jealous and then had to look away.

Would he find Kara? Would they have a reunion like that? Would he find their child? Or would he find their bodies?

The questions were killing him. As the weeks had dragged, his mind had become a swirling cauldron full of doubt and 'what if.' At more and more briefings he would zone out, thinking of something ridiculous Kara had once done or how she felt under his hands or how she sighed in her sleep. The jolt back to reality was always horrific.

Straightening as Helo and Sharon walked over to him hand-in-hand, he waved off Helo's salute and shook the taller man's hand instead. "It's good to see you, Helo." And he meant it, truly.

"You too, sir." He glanced about, taking in their numbers and then looked back to Lee, his forehead creased with worry. "Kara?"

Sharon's warning hand on his arm wasn't enough to stop the question and Lee knew he'd turned about three shades too pale. "She was taken, about a month after the Cylons arrived."

Instead of shock or surprise, Helo seemed to accept the news with grim resignation. "The Admiral and I feared something like that when you didn't … well, when you didn't include any news about the baby."

Apollo fought back the lump in his throat and tried to joke. "Come on, you thought that the minute you got the first message and realized I was in charge. Kara never would have stood for that."

Helo smiled obligingly, but an uncomfortable silence followed and Lee found he needed to get away. "So, we move out in an hour, right?"

He didn't need confirmation, but it gave him an out and after getting a nod from Sharon, he turned and headed a few feet into the dense foliage of the forest surrounding them. Once he knew no one could see him, he sat down and took out his gun, taking it apart and cleaning each piece meticulously.

The rhythmic, familiar exercise calmed his nerves and focused his thoughts. He could almost go a whole thirty seconds without thinking about Kara.

He'd already said all the prayers he could think of, pleaded with every deity he ever remembered reading about in school. The rest of it was up to him—he'd either find her or he wouldn't; she'd either be alive or she wouldn't; their baby would either be with her or she wouldn't.

Lee clicked his magazine back into place and cocked the gun. He was ready.

---- ----

Something was happening. Leoben had not been back for three nights and while Kara was silently relieved, she knew it meant something awful, either for her or the camp.

Kara walked Aurora around the apartment, humming softly under her breath, trying to convince the little nugget to go to sleep. She had been upset for most of the morning and had only calmed down a bit after lunch. But she wasn't running a fever and she'd eaten pretty heartily, so Kara was fairly certain there was nothing wrong with her—she just wanted some attention.

As Kara completed her fifth lap of the apartment she wondered how she had gotten here. How tough as shoe leather Kara "Starbuck" Thrace, Viper Ace and all-around frak-up, was now cooing at her six-week-old daughter while being held by an obsessed Cylon who thought she had a destiny.

Yeah, that was one for the Oracles, 'cause Kara didn't have a clue.

The sudden sound of Leoben storming through the door startled her and Aurora both and the baby started crying again. As Leoben raced down the stairs, he hurriedly went to the bedroom, all but ignoring Kara.

When he reemerged seconds later, holding a handful of his clothes, she demanded, "What's going on?"

"It's the insurgents," he answered briskly, quickly checking the kitchen cabinets. Apparently satisfied, he turned to her and said, "There's enough food for a few days. I'll be back when I can."

She placed the baby down and ran after him up the stairs. "You can't leave us down here." Kara refused to die in this frakkin' prison while Lee and the others returned to Galactica. She guessed taking down HQ was high on the resistance's list of priorities.

She was halfway up the stairs before he whirled on her so fast she almost lost her balance.

"You'll be safe here, Kara. You and Aurora both."

"No." As he made to leave, she grabbed his arm, and he turned, striking out. Kara saw stars before she saw black.

---- ----

Eight hours into the fighting and Lee stormed Cylon headquarters, Helo and about a dozen others behind him. They split into pre-assigned groups, more than half heading toward the prison, while Lee and Helo led the other four into the enemy's lair. They were soon confronted with two paths. Both men stopped.

"Sir?"

Lee turned to Helo and waved him to the left. "Go on with the others. We'll meet at the rendezvous."

Helo nodded and his tall frame disappeared, the echoing sound of boots and shouted orders going with him.

Lee advanced, noting prison bars before him. The door was open and he saw another door beyond, set into the wall like it led into a room.

What the frak?

His gun arm lowered slightly as he passed through and found himself standing at the top of staircase …

… with an unconscious Kara at his feet. The sight before him brought him to his knees. He had found her. Leaning forward, he gently pushed some of her much longer hair out of her face. Gods, she was beautiful. Even with huge frakkin' bags under her eyes and a nasty bruise blossoming along her temple, Lee knew she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

Lee shook her shoulder gently, not surprised when she groaned her disapproval. "Kara?" It was a gift to say her name, to hear it from his own lips. His voice was shaking, but he didn't care. She was here and she was real. And he was touching her.

"Kara? Wake up."

"Hmmm." She stretched one arm and then her eyes opened and if Lee hadn't been kneeling, his knees would have buckled. Those hazel eyes clouded with confusion took a moment to recognize him. Her brow furrowed, that little crease above her nose so frakking familiar it made him want to cry.

"Lee?"

As soon as her name fell from his lips, Lee lunged forward, pressing his mouth to hers with fervor. She responded after a second, one hand curling into the front of his fatigues as the other rested against his face. When he pulled back, his forehead against hers, he saw tears in her eyes and knew they were reflected in his own.

"Thank the Gods," he breathed, pressing his lips to her forehead, her cheeks and back to her mouth. "Thank the Gods I found you."

The hand she had rested against his face caressed his cheek and he felt her warm breath against his eyes. "Took you long enough," she teased lightly, the gratitude in her eyes overriding her familiar smirk.

Lee would have gladly stayed here with her until judgment day, but the sound of distant gunfire brought their reality into sharp relief. Pressing another kiss to her cheek, he grabbed her hand and pulled her up. "We gotta go."

She nodded and stood slowly, one hand resting on his arm for support. As she regained her balance, she charged into the apartment and Lee followed, curious as to what she was seeking.

In his relief at seeing her, he'd forgotten. But as he watched her pull the small bundle into her arms, his heart thudded hard against his rib cage. It all but dropped out of his chest as he heard a small whimper from within the blanket.

"Kara?"

She turned to him, eyes shining and presented him with a sight he'd never forget as long as he lived. In her arms she cradled a small toe-headed infant. "I promise to introduce the two of you later. Right now, we gotta go."

Lee swallowed down the lump in his throat and fought down the overwhelming urge he felt to take both of them in his arms and never let go. But Kara was right; escape was their first priority.

She crossed the room to a small dresser piled with baby things and started to pack a bag one-handed. Lee moved quickly to her side to help her.

As he shoved baby wipes and diapers into the bag, Lee caught sight of the baby's wide blue eyes. They were staring up at Kara with such awe he felt a sob choke his throat. Kara simply leaned her head down and pressed a soft kiss to the baby's skin, speaking in a hushed tone, cooing words Lee couldn't hear.

"Lee."

He snapped his focus back to her face and found her smiling faintly at him. If he hadn't loved her before, he was frakkin' committed to her now.

"Let's go home," she told him, stepping forward and taking his hand.

Lee squeezed it tight, risking another glance to the baby, before turning, only to find their escape route blocked by a gun-wielding Leoben.

Instantly, Lee placed himself between Kara, the baby and the gun, more determined then ever to keep them safe. If that meant taking a bullet, then so be it.

"You're not leaving, Kara." Leoben's voice was icy and Lee felt Kara shiver slightly behind him. Her free hand had wrapped tightly around his bicep, fingers digging in through the fabric of his jacket. Just that one gesture told him how scared she was. It made Lee want to strip this frakkin' Cylon's skin from his metal body. No one was allowed to make Kara afraid.

"You have a destiny and it's with me." He flicked his disdainful gaze to Apollo and then looked back to Kara. "Not with him."

"You're wrong." Kara's voice was shaky, but she got the words out and the more she spoke the stronger her voice became. "I don't belong with you. I belong with Lee and my child."

As if sensing the tension in the room, the baby whimpered softly and Kara shushed her gently. Lee could feel her attention back on Leoben as she said, "They are my destiny, not your sick version of this domesticity."

Leoben's gun hand never wavered, but an emotion Lee almost pegged as regret flashed in his eyes—you know, if Cylons were capable of emotion. "Kara. Only I can show you the way. Only I can explain how your suffering will guide you."

Lee's body went rigid. Suffering—no frakking way; he was ending this, now.

"Get out of our way," Lee intoned quietly, his voice like steel.

As if remembering he was in the room, Leoben gave him an oily grin. "Or what? You won't risk their lives."

"No, but I will risk mine," Lee told him, ignoring Kara's soft "no," as he took a step toward her captor. "Do you really think you'd survive if I decided to take you out?"

"Ah, the mighty Apollo." Leoben appeared genuinely amused and it grated on Lee. "A warrior to the last." Taking a step forward, the muzzle of Leoben's gun rested on his chest, right over his heart. Lee didn't flinch. "But even you can't survive a point blank gun shot."

"No!"

Kara rushed forward so quickly, neither of them could stop her. Batting Leoben's gun away, she stood between them facing Lee, her eyes wide and pleading. "Lee, take the baby," she whispered, offering the small pink bundle to him.

Questioning, his eyes darted from her to the child and back again. "No, Kara. We're all getting out of here."

"Take her." Kara insisted all but pushing their child against his chest. "He won't kill me," she murmured, taking a step closer as Lee's arms clumsily cradled the bundle. "But he will kill you and Aurora and I won't survive that."

"Kara." Lee refused to believe this was their fate. Was she actually going to stay with this frakker? "I'm not leaving here without you." He hoped she could tell by the conviction in his tone that he damn well meant it.

"Get her outside and go," she commanded. And then, with one last sad smile Lee had seen far too often, Kara turned to face Leoben,. "Let them go."

The Cylon's eyes darted to Lee and then back to Kara before he smiled sickly and reached for her hand. It took all the will power Lee possessed not to tackle the man to the ground.

"You'd better say good bye to them, Kara," he told her, eyes full of victory and focused solely on Lee. "You won't be seeing them again."

Kara didn't flinch. "Let them go."

Giving her a slight nod, Leoben angled himself toward the door, sure to keep his body between Kara and her only escape route while allowing Lee a small path.

Torn between protecting Kara and protecting the small, defenseless bundle in his arms, Lee looked to her pleadingly as he stepped toward the stairs. "Kara—"

Shaking her head once, she steeled her features, hardening her eyes, her smile and told him coldly, "Go, Lee. Take Aurora and go."

She had a plan—he knew it. The alternative was too unbelievable; the idea that she might sacrifice herself and stay here. He knew tactically it was a smart move to get him and Aurora out of the room—they were a liability, leverage for Leoben to bargain with. But he had already abandoned her once, a mistake he had vowed never to make again. Placing his foot on that first step seemed like the harshest betrayal.

Kara broke the stalemate. Eyes still fixed on her captor, she ordered, "Get the frak out of here now, Apollo!"

Lee all but tripped over his feet, keeping Aurora wrapped tightly in his arms, the baby bag over one shoulder and his gun uselessly holstered. As Kara left his line of sight, Lee felt his heart hit the floor.

How could he lose her again?

---- ----

Kara refused to be intimidated by Leoben now. He'd already taken everything from her—her dignity, her self-respect, her freedom, her confidence. He had threatened her child and the man she loved. He had made her afraid and that did not sit well with Kara Thrace. As for Starbuck, she downright detested it.

"Are you really going to stay, Kara?" Leoben still wouldn't lower the weapon and Kara snorted. Interesting concept the Cylons had of love—holding your beloved at gunpoint. Sure, she and Lee had smacked the crap out of each other on occasion, but he would never point a gun at her. "Are you ready to be with me?"

Refusing to answer, Kara stepped closer, locking her eyes with his and forcing her features to soften. "Please." She almost choked on the word, but she managed to get it out. "Please let me go with them. Let me be with my daughter."

A sadness seeped into his features and Kara told herself not to tense. "Say the words," he murmured, raising a hand to her cheek.

Brow furrowing, Kara asked, "What words?"

"You know, Kara. You know what I want. You know what to say, what to do." His thumb stroked her cheek.

Closing her eyes, she released a heavy sigh. He had to believe her; he had to think she meant it. Gods, was she that good of an actress? Aurora's face flashed through her mind.

She'd have to be. "Fine. I love you."

He frowned at her and the grip on her cheek tightened just a tad. "Say it again."

_Make him believe it, Kara._ Mirroring his pose, she rested her hand to his cheek and spoke again. "I love you."

He smiled, a genuine grin and the first one that didn't make her stomach squirm. "Now the rest."

She took another deep breath and then leaned forward, pressing her lips to his dry ones. Pulling back a fraction, she moved her free hand slowly toward his gun, as she whispered, "Was it everything you thought it would be?"

"That and more." He smiled, his eyes never leaving her face. "I'll never forget this moment."

Feeling the cold, familiar metal shape in her hand, Kara kissed him again for good measure, murmuring, "Neither will I."

As their lips met one more time, Kara yanked the gun from his lax grip. He stumbled forward, off balance, and Kara whirled toward the staircase so as not to be felled by his weight. Raising the gun, she didn't hesitate for a second before emptying the entire clip into his chest.

"Kara!"

Lee charged onto the landing, Rory still wrapped in his arms as he took in the sight below. The complete look of concern that colored Lee's features brought tears to her eyes, but Kara blinked them back as she slowly mounted the stairs.

Once she was close enough, Lee reached out to her, squeezing her shoulder. "Are you okay?" He tried to hold her, but Kara couldn't, not yet. Instead, she took the baby from his arms, pressing a kiss to her daughter's hair, taking a second to inhale her sweet smell. Gods, if that mother frakker had really killed her …

Her mind refused to finish the thought. Looking down, she smiled through tears as Aurora opened her perfect little mouth into a yawn before waving her tiny fists at Kara.

Reaching for one, she turned to Lee, not at all surprised at how close he was or that there were obvious tears in his eyes.

"Later," she reminded him, resting a hand to his cheek, before glancing anxiously to the door. "I really want to go home."

Lee swallowed visibly and nodded, pressing a kiss to Kara's forehead before holstering his weapon and leading her and his daughter out of their prison.

---- ----

A/N 2: All right, this is going to have to hold you over for a while as I'm still making tweaks to the end … and I have plans this weekend! Hang in there, I'll have an update posted soon!


	10. Chapter 10

Title: **Captive**, Chapter 10

Pairing: Lee/Kara

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Lee, Kara and Aurora are free from Leoben, but they still have to make it back to Galactica … and decide where exactly to go from here.

Disclaimer: Now, Ron won't even take my calls. *sigh*

A/N: Well, like most of us I'd guess we're in a bit of shock from "Sometimes a Great Notion." I'm pretty sure it's good shock though … I'll let you know when the numbness wears off.

Here's the next chapter, I know I said no updates before next week, but I'm a sucker for comments and since all of you asked so nicely … well, here.

~TamSibling~

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There were piles of rubble and blood-stained debris scattered along the ground. Lee and Kara carefully stepped around it, trying to ignore the number of bodies they saw. Fortunately, it was their only real obstacle as most of the ground fighting had stopped by the time they made it out of the building.

Cresting a ridge, a handful of Raptors came into view, and Lee breathed a sigh of relief. He would only truly relax though once he, Kara and their child were back on Galactica. Back home.

Kara stumbled over a few rocks and Lee caught her arm, keeping her upright. She gave him a weary smile and he could see the pure exhaustion in her eyes. His arm moved around her waist easily and he pulled her close. "Almost there," he whispered and she nodded.

He glanced down to the small baby in her arms and noted that the child was asleep. He thanked the Gods for that little miracle.

They reached the Raptor and Lee ushered them on board. He eased Kara into a seat and hovered, wanting to stay close; truthfully, unwilling to let them out of his sight ever again. As Kara settled the baby against her, she glanced to Lee with a smile. "Go," she ordered softly. "I know you've got things to do."

Glancing to the open entrance, he saw more refugees pouring over the hill and knew he had to see to them.

"Go, Lee."

His eyes guiltily drifted back to Kara and the smile she gave him nearly broke his heart.

"We'll be fine," she assured him.

He gave her shoulder a quick squeeze and then hurried off, stopping to make sure Helo was watching over them before he drifted too far.

It took hours to get everyone organized, to be sure no one had been left behind, that any salvageable materials had been loaded. By the time Lee made it back to Kara and the baby, he was dead on his feet and wanted nothing more than to sleep for days. But the desire to be close to Kara forced his eyes open. He gave Helo the all-clear for take-off and then settled himself into the empty seat beside Kara's now sleeping form. In contrast, the baby was awake, but quiet, as if knowing her mother needed rest.

As they ascended through the atmosphere, the baby gave a small whimper and Lee took a moment to really look at her. A daughter, Gods, his daughter. Was that even possible? Her tiny hands punched into the air and Lee reached for one, stroking his finger over her small fist. Automatically her fingers uncurled and grabbed onto his. Lee's heart lodged itself in his throat. She was perfect. And fascinating. Lee was so fascinated he didn't even notice Kara's eyes flutter open.

"I think you made a friend."

Kara's warm, sleep-laden voice was like a balm to Lee's ears. Glancing up, unashamed of the tears in his eyes, he breathed, "She's beautiful, Kara."

Kara's cheeks flushed slightly, but she accepted the compliment. "Well, her dad's pretty beautiful, too," she told him, eyes sparkling. Leaning toward him, she shifted the baby slightly to give him a better view and said quietly, "Lee, I want you to meet your daughter, Aurora."

Aurora, Goddess of the Dawn; it was perfect. She'd already become the brightest spot in Lee's universe.

"Kara, I—" He stared at Kara, watching her eyes fill with tears and then stared back at his daughter—_his_ daughter.

"She's amazing," he breathed finally, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to her soft baby skin. "I can't believe you did this," he admitted, looking up at her, his heart thudding painfully as he saw pure vulnerability on her features.

"We did this," she reminded him, adjusting Aurora's weight against her chest. The baby cooed softly, making Lee's heart swell. He'd never be parted from them again. He made that promise now.

"Kara, I'm so sorry." He reached for her, his arm around her shoulders and pressed a kiss into her hair. As she leaned into him, he kept murmuring, "I'm so sorry. I never should have left you."

Kara shook her head, tilting her face up to his. "Don't, Lee, okay? Leoben wanted me. Your presence wouldn't have made a difference."

Lee pulled her closer, his eyes drifting back to Aurora as she yawned and closed her eyes. Gods, she really was perfect. "You don't know that. I could have stopped him." He knew it, knew he never would have let any harm come to either of them if he had been there.

Kara pulled back from him this time, a few tears evident on the ends of her lashes. Lee missed her warmth immediately. He wanted to kiss her, kiss her tears away, kiss away the pain and the fear of the past months, but he knew it wasn't the time. And the determination on her face told him she had something to say.

"Lee. He would have killed you." Her voice was even, steady, but hard and he knew she was serious. "He would have and I wouldn't—"

She stopped, unable to finish and Lee watched her swallow several times, breathe deep and then stare at Aurora. As a soft smile curved her lips, she cleared her throat and said without hesitation, "I wouldn't have survived that. Maybe this is how things were meant to be."

He couldn't accept that, not now, maybe not ever. "Kara, knowing where you were, what you—"

She pressed her fingers over his mouth and shook her head sharply. "Don't. We're together now and we have Rory." Upon hearing her name, the baby cooed again and Kara let out a soft laugh. "We have to stay focused on her."

Lee swallowed down his immediate reaction, which was to keep assuring Kara that everything would be okay, reminding her that they were together now and it would be all right. He desperately wanted to pretend the last four months hadn't happened. That Kara hadn't been kidnapped, that she hadn't given birth alone. He wanted—

Kara shuddered beside him and Lee immediately silenced his internal tirade, turning to her with concern on his face. "What is it, Kara? Are you okay?"

She took a few deep breaths, letting them out slowly and then spoke in a controlled tone. "Yeah, just a little … little headache."

Lee glanced to the fierce bruise along her temple and gently glided his fingers over it. When just that slight touch had Kara crying out with pain, he knew it was bad. As if echoing her mother's distress, Aurora gave a small cry as well.

"Soon as we get back, we'll see the doc, okay?"

She nodded slightly. He kissed her gently, unable to help himself despite the close quarters and the witnesses. Her lips were wet with tears, but she pressed into him, sighing softly into his mouth and Lee gave another prayer of thanks that they were together again.

"You're going to be okay, Kara. There's nothing to worry about," he murmured, brushing her hair back from her face. "You're safe."

She nodded, seemingly content. Resting all her weight against him, Lee watched her eyes fall shut once more from exhaustion. As the Raptor continued its flight, Lee kept an arm around her shoulders and cupped his other hand over Rory's head, her baby fine hair tickling his palm.

"I love you," he murmured to them both and then finally allowed his own eyes to close.

---- ----

The jolt of the Raptor docking brought Lee back to consciousness. Blinking sleep from his eyes and willing his body to move, he glanced to Kara and Aurora, both still fast asleep.

He heard Helo proceed with docking and felt the ship begin to cycle down. As the hatch opened and a few survivors clambered out, Lee turned to Kara and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"Kara, we're home."

She didn't move and Lee suppressed a soft chuckle. Years of living on a battlestar meant she could sleep through just about anything.

He nuzzled his nose against her cheek and whispered, "Kara." Lips at her ear, he added, "Rise and shine."

She didn't acknowledge him, didn't even stir and now Lee was worried.

"Apollo?"

He glanced up to find Helo's concerned face staring back at him and noted that the rest of the ship was empty.

"Everything okay?" the taller man asked.

Lee sat forward and shook his head, reaching for Aurora. "I can't wake, Kara," he told him. As he shifted Aurora into his arms, she came awake with a small cry. Lee wanted to hold her close, but he needed to see to Kara. With a quick brush of his lips to her forehead, he handed the baby to Helo. "Take her."

Turning back to Kara, Lee knelt before her, shaking her shoulders and trying to rouse her. "Kara, come on. Wake up."

The panic that blossomed in his chest as she remained unresponsive almost crippled him. "Kara?"

Nothing. Turning to the open hatch, he saw a med team milling about the other survivors and yelled, "Get Cottle. Now!"

Reaching for her hand, Lee squeezed it tight, somehow shutting out his daughter's pained cries as he focused all of his attention on Kara. Gods, her skin was freezing and she was beyond pale. "Don't do this, Kara, come on. Stay with me."

"Move, Major."

That gruff voice could only belong to one person and Lee had never been happier to see him. Stepping aside quickly, he watched Cottle and his team work, wondering if his world was about to end again.

---- ----

"Lee?"

He turned, the voice unmistakable and felt the sting of tears once more—Gods, when had he become a crier?

His father's face betrayed more emotion. There was no mistaking the wetness on his cheeks as he moved forward in a rush, arms open to embrace his son, only stopping short when he caught sight of the small bundle cradled against Lee's chest.

With a sharp intake of breath, the Old Man murmured, "Who's this?"

Lee felt tightness in his throat and forced it back. Angling Aurora so his father could get a better look, he told him, "This is your granddaughter, dad. Aurora."

More tears wet the man's eyes. With the gentlest of touches, he smoothed one finger over the baby's blonde hair and met Lee's gaze with pride and love shining through his features. "She's beautiful, Lee."

Lee nodded, unable to say anything else as he witnessed the awe with which his father regarded his granddaughter.

"Do you …" He had to clear his throat a few times before he was able to get out, "Do you want to hold her?"

His father's eyes widened, just a hint of panic there before he nodded. "I'd be honored."

Aurora didn't stir once as she changed hands. She had been sleeping for almost an hour, only waking and fussing after Kara had emerged from surgery. Lee was starting to make careful note of just how connected his daughter and her mother were. When one was in distress, they both were—it was a bond he envied and found fascinating all at once. Shifting his attention, Lee watched the calm settle over his father as the baby's warm weight rested against him.

Lee knew the feeling. He felt an unbelievable level of protectiveness and peace and love whenever he held his daughter. It was transformative. And at times, completely unbelievable.

"How's Kara?" the Old Man asked, his voice low and soothing, a tone Lee had not heard for some time.

His eyes flicked to the curtain just a few feet away, his only current barrier to Kara. With a sigh, he admitted, "Resting. The doc relieved the pressure on her brain, but it's going to take her a while to bounce back. She was exhausted, dehydrated, malnourished too." He sighed again, forcing the image of that apartment and Leoben out of his mind. He had Kara back, that was all that mattered. "He said she should be all right. She just needs a lot of rest."

As he rocked the baby, Adama gave him a sympathetic look. "She'll be all right. Kara's a fighter."

"We don't even know what she's been through." What I put her through, he thought to himself, but refused to say aloud. It would just engender sympathy from his father and he didn't deserve that.

Lee would sooner cut off his arm than cause Kara any pain. But he couldn't dismiss his culpability in what had happened to her or their daughter. It was his fault. He'd left them alone and they'd been taken. He didn't want to imagine how they had suffered or what Leoben had done to Kara in that ivory tower where he'd locked her away.

Aurora's small whimper betrayed the louder more terrified one that sounded a second later.

"Lee!"

Kara's pained and panicked cry ripped through his chest like the deadliest bullet and he sprinted to her side in seconds, his father following with a now crying Aurora still in his arms.

Whipping aside the curtain around her bed, Lee took in the scene even as he kept moving, reaching Kara's side and squeezing her hand hard. Her eyes were open and wild, tears falling unabashedly down her still pale cheeks.

"Lee!"

"Kara. Kara, I'm right here." He smoothed his free hand through her hair, watching her frantic gaze settle on his face, causing some of her panic to dissipate. He offered her a smile trying to tamp down his own fear at her obvious distress. "You're okay, Kara. I'm here."

She clenched his hand in both of hers, visibly fighting for control. Swallowing several times, her eyes never leaving his, she murmured, "I thought it was a dream. I thought you weren't here."

Her voice was broken and hoarse and pulled at Lee's chest in ways he could never have imagined. "Nope, I'm right here, Kara." He pressed a kiss to her forehead, lips lingering there for a second as he felt some of the tension slip from her body. "I'm right here and you're safe."

He pulled back to meet her gaze once more and she stared at him intently. Slowly, cautiously she drew one hand from his and tentatively lifted it to his cheek, outlining his nose, his eyes, his mouth. Lee stood perfectly still letting her assure herself that he was indeed real.

With a heavy sigh, her hand dropped back to her side and she closed her eyes for a long minute. When she reopened them, Lee could see a visible change. She was calmer, although some tension still lingered, around her eyes, her mouth, the rigidity of her body. He sat on the bed beside her hip, bringing their bodies into contact and holding her hand in both of his; at his touch some more of her tension faded.

"How are you feeling?"

"Tired," she admitted with a sigh, her eyes never straying from his.

"You should get some more sleep then." His thumb made slow circles along the top of her hand and he watched her eyes flutter close and then open once more. In true Starbuck fashion, she was stubbornly fighting the call of sleep.

She shook her head. "No, I don't want to dream." The admission was quiet, even, but the fear it belied made Lee's heart clench.

As if once again sensing her mother's raised level of distress, Aurora's cry could be heard through the curtain. Kara tried to sit up, whispering her child's name, wanting to reach her, but with a small cry of pain, she fell back against the pillows.

Lee rose swiftly, his hand to her shoulder to keep her in bed. "Easy, Kara."

"Where is she?" The panic was back and Lee could hear the rising and insistent howl of the machines monitoring Kara's vital signs. "Who's watching her?"

"She's with my dad." Lee wished he could fully understand why she was so worried. He guessed it had to do with Leoben and the dollhouse he'd found them in, but there had to be more to it than that. "I'll go get her, okay?"

She nodded eagerly, giving his hand a small squeeze before releasing it.

Lee hurried out, almost colliding with his father who was hovering on the other side of the curtain, the fussy baby in his arms.

Reaching for his daughter, he said, "Kara wants to see her."

Aurora whimpered steadily as Lee held her again and the tension on his father's face increased. "How is she?"

With a frown, Lee shook his head once in answer and then reentered Kara's curtained area. Lee brought the baby to her immediately. Kara's arms were ready to receive her and the look of contentment that washed over her was undeniable.

"Oh, baby girl," she murmured, nuzzling her nose against Rory's fine hair and pressing kisses to her scalp. For her part, Aurora immediately quieted, wide blue eyes staring at Kara with awe and delight, while Kara's hazel eyes gazed back with tenderness and love.

And suddenly, Lee felt very foolish—very out of place. The bond Kara and Aurora had was one he could never hope to emulate and he worried he was unnecessary in their little family.

But how could he be? Aurora was his daughter and Kara had—well, Kara had almost sacrificed herself for him—it meant they were going to be together, didn't it? Together like a family?

"Lee."

Kara's voice brought his eyes to hers in a second. She reached out a hand, keeping Aurora steady, and asked, "You're going to stay, right?"

Hell yes, he was going to stay. Crossing to her side in two strides, Lee gripped her hand tight in his and sat beside them once more. Kara's soft smile almost undid him completely as she squeezed his hand before turning her attention back to the baby.

"How's she been?" Kara asked in a hushed voice.

"Fine. A little fussy, but only when you're upset."

Brow furrowed, Kara lifted her eyes back to his face. "What?"

Shrugging slightly, Lee used his free hand to gently rub a finger over Aurora's tiny, clenched fist. The little girl still had no interest in her father though; her eyes were firmly fixed on her mother. "I can't explain it, Kara, but every time you woke up or felt any pain, Aurora would start crying too. The doc checked her over, said she's perfectly healthy. I think she's just really in sync with your moods."

Kara seemed to accept that pretty readily, her eyes back on her daughter. "I guess that makes sense. She was pretty much my only companion for the last three months."

Lee's heart tightened once more, but he let the comment slide. Kara still looked exhausted and he guessed any discussion they might have relating to her captivity wasn't coming anytime soon. Besides he really didn't want to think about that right now. Right now, he just wanted to continue to be grateful that he had his family back.

A small whimper from Aurora put him on alert and his eyes flicked from the baby to Kara, looking for the problem.

But with ease, Kara simply placed Aurora against her shoulder and reached for the back of her gown. Struggling to reach the tie at the base of her neck, she sighed and looked to Lee. "Can you help me with this?"

Uncertain, he asked, "What is it? What's wrong?"

With a patient smile, she explained, "Our daughter's hungry. I was going to feed her." As Lee processed this, she added with a smirk, "Unless you want to give it a try."

He caught the tease in her expression and found himself smiling back. "Somehow I don't think I'm properly equipped." Reaching forward, he tugged on the tie, allowing the top of her gown to loosen. As Kara slowly shrugged one shoulder down, she glanced about the small space.

"Can you bring me that towel?" she asked, readjusting Aurora deftly.

Lee rose to grab it and when he turned back to her, his breath froze in his lungs. He wasn't sure he'd ever seen a more beautiful sight then Kara breastfeeding their daughter.

The baby's tiny mouth was suckling intently, one tiny fist lying against the curve of Kara's breast while her eyes fluttered open and shut. For her part, Kara was rocking slowly back and forth, humming softly under her breath, her eyes never straying from her daughter.

Possessed with an urgent need to be close to them now and forever, Lee came forward and pressed a long kiss to Kara's forehead.

She looked up, slightly startled, as he pulled away. Taking the towel he offered, she draped it over her opposite shoulder and asked, "What was that for?"

"Being here, being you, loving our daughter." The words came out in a rush. There were so many reasons he loved her, wanted her, needed her, he could barely count them, let alone name them.

Kara smiled softly, and tilted her face up to him. Recognizing the gesture for what it was, Lee pressed a chaste kiss to her lips, wishing it could go farther, wishing he could show her just how much she truly meant to him, but if Aurora wasn't a big enough deterrent, Kara's own health was.

"Of course I love her," she whispered, their lips just inches apart. "She's a part of you."

"I love you." He blurted the words out so fast they barely registered. Kara's eyes widened for a second and then softened, before he saw the tell-tale shine of tears. Glancing quickly back to Rory, the child had stopped feeding and so Kara readjusted her against her towel-covered shoulder and gently started rubbing her back.

He sat down then, as close as he could and met her eyes. "I do. You know that, right?"

Kara blinked once, a tear falling down her face, but he didn't think it was from sadness. He was pretty sure it wasn't, actually. "I know. I just …" She closed her eyes again, effectively shutting him out and Lee didn't know what to do. He had so many questions, so many things he needed to know and didn't want to know at the same time. All that mattered was that he found a way to help her. That she got well and she and Aurora and him be a family.

He hoped that once she was cleared to leave Life Station their life together would just fall back into place, but he wasn't naïve enough to really think it would happen.

Taking her hand once more, he squeezed gently and rested his free hand to her cheek. "Kara, come on," he implored, voice soft, but urgent. "Talk to me. Please."

Her eyes opened slowly and this time he did see pain radiating in those depths. "So much has happened," she whispered. "There's so much I …"

She didn't finish and Lee was fairly certain she wasn't going to. Shaking her head, she took a deep breath and Lee watched her visibly push down her emotions. It was a skill she had perfected over the years, one he was intimately familiar. He still didn't like it.

"Kara—"

"Not now, okay?" She opened her eyes to him again and gave him what was meant to be a reassuring smile. Instead, it looked like a plea for mercy. "It's too soon and I'm tired and Aurora—"

He shook his head and then kissed her gently. "I know, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to pry."

"I just need some time, okay?"

His heart thudded hard against his rib cage, but he nodded and then rose stiffly. He couldn't believe he was going to leave her here—be on the same ship with her and not be at her side.

Reaching for the baby, he asked, "Do you want me to take her?"

Her expression relaying her confusion, she asked, "Take her where? Where are you going?"

"I'm giving you some time." That's what she'd just said, right? He wasn't hearing things.

With a sigh of impatience, not anger, she shot him her best exasperated look—one she usually reserved for when he was being particularly dense. "I don't want you to go." She reached for his hand and he gave it to her. "Please don't."

A nuclear blast couldn't have propelled him from her now. Moving fast, he tucked himself in beside her, grateful when she scooted over so they both could recline on the bed. She turned slightly, wincing with a bit of discomfort, but soon was settled against him, Aurora resting on her chest.

"Are you comfortable?" he asked, worried that although sharing a bed with her felt spectacular to him, it might aggravate her already hurting body.

"Mmm," she murmured, resting her head against his shoulder, her hand lying gently on Aurora's stomach. The girl was already asleep. "You are the best pillow the fleet has to offer," she murmured, getting a chuckle from Lee.

Dropping a kiss into her hair, he smiled and said, "Sleep well, Kara."

"'Night, Lee."

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	11. Chapter 11

Title: **Captive**, Chapter 11

Pairing: Lee/Kara

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: It's not mine. Nope, not even a little.

Summary: Lee and Kara have returned to the fleet with their daughter, but Kara's health causes concern.

A/N: Remember this fic? Sorry, it took so long to update. With the premiere of 4.5 and my thesis demanding my attention, I had to take a break for a bit. This chapter is a little shorter than I normally like to post, but I wanted to give you something!

I hope you enjoy! Thanks!

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Chapter 11

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Kara's headaches returned in the middle of the night, rousing both Lee and Aurora from sleep. His heart clenched at the sound of her moans and the sight of tears on her cheeks told him it was bad. Aurora's echoing cries of her mother's pain just ripped at him more.

Cottle shooed him into the waiting room and he was left with nothing to do but worry and pace with his whimpering daughter. He tried to comfort her, but his thoughts kept drifting to Kara and that damn "cell" he'd found her in. The fact that it wasn't a cell, but a well-appointed apartment had him nervous.

He didn't fully understand the extent of Leoben's obsession with Kara. All he knew was how shaken she'd been after interrogating the one they'd found in the fleet. The look of anguish on her features as she'd stepped off the shuttle had left him cold. Later that night, when he'd found her murmuring a prayer for the frakker's soul, he knew that whatever had transpired had effected her deeply.

Did that mean anything? Maybe the two incidents were unrelated. Maybe that Leoben was different from this one. He didn't believe that—not really. Leoben hadn't kidnapped Kara on New Caprica and then kept her in an apartment just because he thought it'd be fun.

He had wanted something, something from Kara and Lee's mind could conjure only a handful of things she could give, and a few that he could take—by force. He shivered.

Aurora gave another pained cry and Lee tensed, expecting Kara's answering cry to reach him. Instead all he could hear was the wail of machines signaling that Kara was in distress.

Burying his nose in Aurora's fine hair, Lee breathed deeply to calm himself. The baby smelled of powder, milk and Kara and Lee couldn't believe how much it comforted him. "Please, Kara," he murmured, eyes closed to keep the tears in. "Fight."

Aurora gave another soft whimper and then settled against his shoulder, her eyes growing heavy with sleep. Keeping a hand to her back and rubbing gentle circles, he continued to pace, waiting for the doc to return; waiting for news.

As the older man emerged, Lee felt his world begin to implode. He saw darkness at its edges and fear settled in his chest. "What happened?" he managed to growl, unable to control his voice more than that.

Cottle looked more regretful, more sympathetic than Lee had ever seen. "I'm sorry, son, but she slipped into a coma."

He almost blacked out from the weight of the statement, but managed to stay standing for Aurora's sake. "When will she wake up?"

If it was possible, Cottle's expression grew sadder. "I'm not sure she will."

Lee fell into the nearest chair, clutching his daughter so tightly he actually woke her. This couldn't be happening. They had not come this far … No. No. Lee refused to accept it. "Do something," he demanded, fierce eyes glaring at the doc.

"I've done all I can for now, Commander. Captain Thrace took quite a blow to the head. The fact that she wasn't roused for a few hours probably contributed to the damage. The fact is, she needs to heal. A few days of uninterrupted rest might be the best thing for her."

But what about me, Lee wanted to scream. What about Aurora? Gods, how could he possibly take care of her by himself? He gazed down into her face, catching sight of her wide blue eyes and stifled a sob. She was so innocent, so trusting and Lee felt the weight of fatherhood for the first time. For months, she had been Kara's only link to her old life, to her memories, to Lee. Right now, Aurora was Lee's only link to Kara.

"I don't know what to do," he whispered, pressing his face back into Aurora's hair and breathing deep. "I want your mom back, too."

"She's going to be fine, Apollo." Lee glanced up sharply at the doc's reassurance, knowing the man rarely made such promises. "Captain Thrace just needs some rest. As do you and that little one. Why don't you take a break? Take her back to quarters?"

Lee couldn't walk out of life station, not with Kara's health in such a precarious state. "No, I'm not leaving Kara alone. Not again."

"I got it from here, Apollo."

He turned sharply, grateful and tense at the sight of Helo standing just a few steps behind him. When had he gotten here? When had Cottle or his father or one of the staff called him? Lee knew he should be glad, but even leaving Kara in Karl's hands seemed wrong.

Helo walked toward him, giving Cottle a slight nod and the doctor shuffled off. Once he was close enough, Helo gazed down at Aurora, his eyes and face growing soft as he smiled at her. She gurgled in return. "She's beautiful, Apollo."

"Yeah." His throat was too tight to get out anything else. "What are you doing here?"

"I was on shift in CIC. Your dad asked me to stop down here on my way home and check on you and Starbuck. And his granddaughter. Once I got here, Ishay gave me the highlights." His eyes filled with sadness, Helo looked back up. "I'm sorry about Kara, Lee. But she'll pull through this."

"I don't know anymore." He really didn't and that was the problem. Lee had lost his trust, trust that things would work out. He had faith—he believed that Kara would do all she could to come back to him, but he didn't know if that faith was enough to defeat their currently frakked up circumstance.

Helo's strong hand clapped on his shoulder and he easily steered Lee toward the exit. "Look, that's exhaustion talking. You need to get a good night's rest and take care of your daughter. I'll sit with Kara tonight."

Lee felt awful, as if he was abandoning Kara again when he had sworn he wouldn't. But he did need to sleep, he was dead on his feet and Aurora deserved to actually lie down in a bed, to have some sense of normalcy established. Plus, Lee didn't want her exposed to this medical sterility anymore than necessary.

"I don't want to leave." He felt he should at least voice his protest. That way if Kara asked, someone could attest to his desire not to go. "I really don't."

"I know that, Apollo. But Kara would want you to take care of that little one." Helo cupped his hand behind Aurora's head and bent forward to brush his lips across her forehead. She barely stirred from her sleeping position against Lee's shoulder. "And she'd want you to take care of yourself."

Lee knew all of that was true, but his feet just refused to move.

"I could call your dad and make it an order."

He glanced to Helo swiftly and saw the other man's eyes twinkling with mirth, before he shrugged. "I'm just sayin'."

Lee finally cracked a smile. "I get it. No orders will be necessary." Each step was painful, but Lee found himself walking away from Kara. "If anything changes, even the tiniest bit—"

"You'll be the first person I call," Helo assured. He waved goodbye. "Night-night, Apollo."

Lee thought about flashing him a rude gesture and then decided he just didn't have the energy. "Come on, baby girl," he murmured to Aurora. She was still fast asleep. "Let's go home."

---- ----

She dreamed of Caprica, of Simon and Sam and the Six who'd tried to pound her into rubble. She dreamed of gunshot wounds and scars and alien babies, half-metal and half-human. She dreamed of dying, over and over again in that frakking hospital, strapped to one of those machines, giving birth to dead fetus after dead fetus.

She dreamed of New Caprica, too. Of Leoben and funerals and shouting to the sky. She dreamed of Lee, finding her and holding her. Dreamed of Leoben kidnapping her and taking her child. Dreamed of Aurora's cry the minute she entered the world. Dreamed of Leoben's dead body at her feet, night after night after night.

And she woke up screaming.

She wasn't even aware of where she was, not for the first minute or so she was awake. It was dark all around and she couldn't make out the ambient sounds of Life Station or the slight hum of Galactica's engines that would normally bring her comfort.

Kara gripped the blankets around her body, looking for purchase, wishing she didn't hurt, wishing the pain would just go away, wishing she wasn't alone again. She wished even more strongly that she could handle this. That she could find a way to deal with what had happened.

She had been frakked up before, but Kara knew this was a new level of dysfunction, even for her. Still trembling, she drew the blankets up to her chin and lied back stiffly, staring at the shadows around her, wondering which one might attack. She knew it was ridiculous, but she had learned to fear the darkness since she'd been on New Caprica. Fear the darkness and the light and the Cylons who smiled with their eyes.

"Kara?"

She recognized the voice, but she didn't think she should. Was it a trick?

A tall shadow loomed over her and she saw his face as he flipped on a small lamp at the head of the bed. It looked like Helo, but Kara could barely order her thoughts and she didn't know why he would be here. Where was Lee? Where was Aurora?

"Kara. Are you all right?" When she didn't answer a second time, he turned and called,

"Nurse!"

Kara shivered, staring at the man who looked like her friend. She couldn't believe how cold she was. Ishay stepped inside. "Captain? Are you all right?"

Kara swallowed and tried to answer, but she couldn't and so instead, she just shook her head. The nurse moved to her bedside, checking a few of Kara's readouts, while taking her wrist and checking her pulse.

"Captain, you need to take some deep breaths. Your heart is racing."

She was trying, she really was, but it just wasn't working. She jumped as someone shifted in their sleep, causing the creak of a mattress. She heard a rustle of paperwork and the ding of a machine and the noises were too much. She was surrounded by unfamiliarity and she just wanted it all to stop.

"Captain!" Ishay's voice was very far away.

"Kara!"

Kara couldn't answer them, she couldn't even see past the swirling in the room, couldn't hear past the thundering of her own blood in her ears. She didn't even realize until she passed out that Cottle was back and he was trying to save her life.

---- ----

Adama did not look forward to this conversation. He didn't want to have to see the look on his son's face when he told him of Kara's condition. But he also didn't want the news to come from anyone else.

So, with a heavy heart, Adama knocked on the hatch to Lee's quarters and waited.

Lee opened the door, bleary eyed, his hair a mess and Bill felt a wave of affection for him. He was so blessed to have his family with him when so many others didn't.

"Dad?"

As Lee registered his presence, he stiffened, blinking fully awake and ushering his father inside. "Something's happened to Kara, hasn't it?"

With a sigh, Adama told him, "She's taken a turn for the worse, Lee. Cottle scrambled and managed to stabilize her, but now he's keeping her sedated for her own good."

The look of pure pain that crossed Lee's face made Bill's heart hurt, but he forced himself to stay strong for Lee, for Kara and his new grandchild.

"I don't …" Lee struggled to form words. "I don't understand. Cottle said she'd be all right. She just needed rest." Lee sat heavily on the room's couch, his head falling forward into his hands.

"Apparently, she had a nightmare and her body went into shock. He did everything he could to calm her down. He was worried she might further aggravate her injury. The doc thinks she might be suffering some post traumatic stress."

Lee didn't speak for a handful of moments and Bill didn't know what he could possibly say. There were no words of comfort in a situation like this. It defied speech. As the minutes dragged on, he finally said, "Cottle told me that we can sit with her, if we want, but she'll probably be out for a few days. He wants to give the drugs some time to work before he eases up on the sedatives." Adama liked Cottle's plan even less than he suspected Lee did, but if it was what would make Kara better than he'd abide it.

"I'm staying with her." Lee rose, full of purpose and headed across the room. Throwing open his locker, he reached for the nearest pair of sweats and pulled them on.

From beside his bed, Aurora stirred and Adama hovered by her crib. "What about Aurora?"

"She needs her mother." Bill heard the strain in Lee's voice and knew he was struggling. He wished he had the power to ease his burden. Fully dressed, Lee turned, eyes brimming with sadness and added, "I need her, too."

An unaccustomed tightness in his throat caused Bill to swallow hard, before pulling his son to him in a one-armed hug. "I know," he murmured. "I know."

----- -----


	12. Chapter 12

Title: **Captive**, Chapter 12

Pairing: Kara/Lee

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: Ron took all his toys and went home. He can be very pouty.

Summary: Kara isn't out of the woods despite being home on Galactica.

A/N: Hi all,

In truth, I'm not totally sure where exactly this is going, but here's the next chapter. I'm probably going to wrap this up in a chapter or two and save some of the additional story I wrote for another time.

Thanks for sticking with it! Enjoy tonight's ep!

~TamSibling~

---- ----

Chapter 12

---- ----

Lee had no idea how he'd managed to sleep through the night. He'd been convinced that away from Kara—as ordered by his father who had decided that after five days at Kara's side he needed to sleep in his own bed—and with Aurora to watch over, he'd toss and turn all night only to feel worse in the morning. But within minutes of feeding the baby—with some of the last formula left in the galaxy—Lee had been fast asleep, Aurora sleeping on his chest and not waking for an entire six hours.

When she did finally open her eyes, Lee was already up, staring at her. He'd been terrified when he realized he was expected to take her back to his quarters and, you know, care for her. He'd never been around babies, except for Zak and he'd only been four years old himself. His mother had been hesitant to let him anywhere near his brother when he was this little for fear he'd drop him or scare him or damage him in some other way.

But it had been, well, easy, almost? Lee knew not every night would be like this. He knew she would fuss and maybe come down with a cold or ear infection. He knew he'd spend many sleepless nights walking the length and breadth of the ship trying to calm her down. He knew she'd eventually talk and throw tantrums and learn how to say "no" before she learned how to say "yes." And he knew that one day she'd disobey him or Kara and they'd have to send her to her room and wait for an apology.

However, none of that was happening at this moment. At this moment, she was still a baby, absolutely dependent on him and Kara for everything. And she was amazing.

He'd had very little time to consider fatherhood during the resistance. To think of his child meant thinking of Kara and that pain was debilitating, especially as the months dragged on and he received no word. In those few days before she was taken, however, he'd dreamed of holding his child, of being with Kara and their baby, of being a family. He realized very quickly, it was what he wanted. The bright, shiny future with the porch swing—all of it.

And the fact that it seemed so close, almost as if he could hold it in his hands, made him nervous. Things between him and Kara had never worked out before and despite the very real, tangible result of their feelings for one another—Aurora—Lee feared he was just setting himself up for more disappointment.

He wasn't so sure he'd be able to pick himself up off the mat this time if that were the case.

But no. No. He wouldn't think about it. Kara would get better and soon, she'd be able to come home and the three of them would be a family. Lee was determined. It would happen.

Even if he had to bribe the Gods to do it.

Aurora cooed softly, drawing Lee's attention to her and he smiled. This little one deserved that, a family, a real-honest-to-Gods family. She already had a besotted grandfather and more than a few honorary aunts and uncles. She deserved a mother and father, two people in her life full-time who loved her and each other.

Bundling her back in the blanket the doc had scrounged, Lee held her gently against his chest and kissed her forehead. Her little fists banged against his cheek and he laughed, unable to help the feeling of contentment that washed over him. "You are so beautiful, Aurora," he breathed. As his eyes traced her features, he saw Kara there and it took his breath away. "Just as beautiful as your mommy."

Heading for the door, he added, "And we're going to tell her."

---- ----

_For a while, her world was colors and shapes. Sometimes they were bright and vibrant, soft and round, other times they were dark and dull, hard and sharp. Kara didn't mind the colors so much, they reminded her of painting. Different canvases with different thoughts, different dreams, different feelings splashed upon them._

_It was when her world became familiar, recognizable, that she felt her body tense. At first, it was her apartment in Delphi, but before the attacks. There was soft music playing—her father's music—and a few candles were lit throughout the space. She smelled something delicious and knew she hadn't cooked it … which meant …_

"_Hey, babe."_

_She turned, confronted with Zak's smiling face, dimples and all and felt her heart drop to her toes. "Zak," she breathed, uncertain of what she should do, unwilling to move and discover this was just a dream. It had to be a dream._

_But then Zak was standing before her, just a hands-breath away and then he touched her, his fingers to her cheek and it was exactly as she remembered. Could she really have him back again?_

"_Babe, what's wrong?"_

_She blinked once, twice to clear the tears from her eyes and gave him the biggest smile she had. "Nothing," she told him, forcing herself to look into his eyes. "I'm just glad to see you."_

_He stared at her for another moment and then chuckled and by the Gods if Kara didn't want to bottle that sound for a rainy day. "You're crazy, but I love you," he murmured before leaning forward and brushing a light kiss to her mouth._

_Kara closed her eyes against the sensation, unable to believe how perfect it was. When she tried to reach out and curl her fingers in his shirt, she was met with nothing but air. Eyes flying open, she saw she was no longer in her apartment, but in the cemetery, staring at Zak's freshly dug grave._

"_No," she moaned, sinking to her knees next to the mound of dirt. It was close to dusk and she remembered this moment all too well. She'd returned to the gravesite after the Wake at the Adamas. She'd come back, knowing she shouldn't, knowing it would only end in heartache, but she'd been unable to really say goodbye and she couldn't acknowledge that he was really gone._

"_I'm sorry, Zak," she whispered, her voice thick with tears. A swift wind kicked up and Kara wrapped her arms around her waist, trying to keep herself from flying apart. "I'm so sorry."_

"_Kara?"_

_She shook her head and refused to acknowledge him. She couldn't live through this again. Gods, why did she have to? Couldn't she just wake up? Why couldn't she wake up?_

_But memories were relentless, just like dreams and Kara found herself standing, facing a distraught Lee, tears reflected in his eyes by the now risen moon._

"_Kara, please, don't go through this alone. Let me help you."_

_She forced herself to shake her head, forced herself to take even steps away from him. She felt the pull of him—his warmth, his presence, his strength—but she couldn't give into that. She would not dishonor Zak's memory by finding comfort with his brother, even the platonic kind. She didn't deserve comfort anyway. She had destroyed the Adama family. She was a poison to them. She had to stay away._

"_No, Lee. Just go. I have to do this alone." The words tore at her throat, but Kara forced them out._

_A few of the tears in Lee's eyes fell at this statement and he clenched his jaw and shook his head. "No, Kara, you don't. You can't. This is too much to go through by yourself."_

_She shook her head again. "Go, Lee." She turned her back on him and it pained her to do so—just as it had back then._

"_Kara, please." She inhaled a shaky breath at the pure pain in his voice and willed her heart to be hard as he added in a whisper, "I need you."_

_The words stung Kara in a whole new way as she realized that Lee had always been trying to tell her this. That Lee had loved her and needed her from day one—just as she had him. She had loved Zak for what seemed forever, but the minute she'd met Lee something had changed. She still loved Zak, but she needed Lee. It scared her and angered her and excited her all at once._

_Gods, she really wanted to wake up. Why couldn't she? She tried, squeezing her eyes shut, muttering a soft prayer of deliverance, but as she opened them again, she was still in the graveyard and now Lee was standing close, his warmth so near she could feel it radiating across her back._

"_I know you're hurting too, Kara," Lee whispered and she shivered at his closeness. "And I just can't—I can't believe he's gone."_

_His voice broke on the last word and Kara turned swiftly to face him. Maybe if she changed the memory she could wake up, be released from this pain she had fought so hard to bury. _

_She wrapped her arms around him tightly and felt him sigh with relief before he sank against her. "I know," she whispered, pressing a kiss to his temple. "I know. I need—"_

"_What do you need, Starbuck?" _

_The teasing drawl jolted Kara and she stepped back, confronted with Sam, naked and holding her tightly as he playfully nipped at her ear. Kara recognized the small room they had used to frak in at the resistance's headquarters and she felt her heart sink. _

"_Huh?" Sam's teeth bit down gently on her earlobe and Kara's body shuddered. He had been really good at that; she remembered. His lips moved to the shell of her ear and he breathed hotly, "What do you need, baby?"_

_With another shudder, Kara leaned back and grinned wickedly at him before pressing her palm to his chest and shoving him so he fell flat on his back underneath her. As she leaned over him, breasts grazing the top of his chest, she kissed him hard and muttered, "Nothing you've got, Anders."_

_His laughter was swallowed by her mouth as she kissed him, biting down on his lip hard enough to draw blood. He simply slapped her ass once and then retook the upper hand and Kara let him. She had let Sam dictate a lot of what they'd done in bed, which was decidedly unlike her. But at that moment, Kara—Starbuck—hadn't cared. She'd just wanted to forget for an hour and when Sam was thrusting into her hard, she'd forgotten about everything but what he was making her feel._

_He rolled her over and pinned her hands to the side and Kara groaned at being trapped. She didn't like that and he knew it. Opening her eyes to give him a piece of her mind, she was confronted with the muted colors of the apartment-prison on New Caprica and she screamed._

---- ----

Cottle rushed into Starbuck's cube the minute he heard her scream. Her readings were going off the charts and Cottle honestly didn't know what to do for her. She needed rest and despite the elevated brain activity, he knew her body was at least not under severe duress.

Ishay entered and handed him Kara's chart without a word and Cottle scanned the list of treatments. "Give her another dose of morpha," Cottle ordered, hoping it might help to ease the dreams at least. It would at least make them a little cloudier, not so vivid.

As Ishay moved to comply with his request, he added, "And get the Admiral and the Commander down here. They need to be with her."

---- ----

_Kara awoke far from New Caprica. Instead, she was surrounded by green grass and the smell of fresh dew. She glanced about and saw that she was in the Tomb of Athena, surrounded by the monoliths and the night sky with its constellations that would lead them home._

"_I still can't believe it."_

_She glanced to her side and saw Lee there, the same awed expression on his face as he stared up at the stars. He waited another minute, before bringing his eyes to rest on Kara. "I still can't believe we're standing on Earth."_

_Kara nodded, stooping down to pick up a handful of the dirt at her feet. As she rolled it around her palm, she felt Lee move closer and he cradled her hand in his, pushing the soil around a bit with his finger. "Do you really think we'll get here some day?" she breathed, unwilling to break the quiet of this place._

"_It depends." _

_She looked up to ask him what it depended on and saw that Lee's eyes were bulging from his head, his hand clutching at a wicked knife wound in his chest. "Lee!"_

_Kara's scream echoed off the tall pillars of stone and she reached him just as he fell forward on his knees. She cradled him against her, caressing his cheek, even as his eyes glossed over and went dead. A small trickle of blood escaped the corner of his mouth and Kara screamed once more, "Lee!"_

---- ----

Lee entered Life Station with Aurora tucked into his chest and stopped short at seeing his father and Cottle already there. Heads bent in a tense discussion, they glanced up at his entrance and Lee hastened to them. Whatever it was, it didn't look good.

"What?" he demanded, trying to keep his voice low as Aurora had nodded off again. "What's wrong?"

The two men ushered him into the doctor's office, despite Lee's protests that he wanted to see Kara immediately.

Once they had safely closed the door, Adama faced his son and said, "Kara's been calling out for you."

Lee's heart sank to his feet. He couldn't believe she had needed him and he hadn't been here. "Then let me go to her," he demanded, trying to elbow past his dad and get back to Kara.

"First, I need to tell you that her dreams are getting worse." Cottle didn't seem to take any joy in this news, but he didn't seem keen on fixing it either, which just annoyed Lee even more.

Clencing his free hand into a fists before he pounded the older man into his desk, Lee growled, "Then wake her up."

"It's not that simple, Lee." His father's face was grim.

"Why not?"

Cottle, who had managed to light a cigarette, took a drag before explaining. "It'd be a little like waking a sleep walker. The shock of actually waking up might do her more harm than good."

"Than what's your solution?" Lee knew his voice was raised, no doubt carrying through the office door and out into Life Station and he could give a rat's ass. "Because I refuse for you to tell me that the only way to help Kara is to let her suffer."

Aurora whimpered then, obviously awoken by her father and Lee tried to calm her, although his own heart was pounding uncontrollably. How could they allow Kara to suffer like this? How could he?

His father stepped forward, taking Lee firmly by the shoulders and meeting his gaze. "No, son, that's not what we're saying. The doc thinks that you can reach Kara."

Now he was confused and absolutely sick with standing still and doing nothing. "What? How?"

"It's pretty simple, son." Cottle stubbed out his cigarette and moved around the desk to face him. "Just talk to her."

---- ----

_Simon had killed Lee the first time, in the Tomb. When Kara had screamed out, he'd stepped from his hiding place with a wide smile and the same shard of glass she had used on him._

"_Why?" she'd demanded, glaring at him through her tears._

"_Because Kara, you have a destiny." _

_She had glared at him, unwilling to encourage his insane ramblings, unwilling to bait him further._

_Instead, she had gazed back down in to Lee's peaceful face and buried her face into his hair. "I'm sorry," she murmured, unable to fathom how this could be possible, unable to believe she had killed another Adama. "I'm sorry."_

"_Are you sorry about me too, Kara?" She looked up, surprised to see Sam standing there, standing beside Simon as if it were no big deal._

"_Sam?"_

"_Yeah, that's right. You killed me. Bitch." _

_His words stung and Kara flinched away from them. The air around them shifted slightly and she was standing back on New Caprica, staring at his grave. It was so frakking cold._

"_I'm sorry, Sam," she murmured, reaching out for his cheek. His expression was cold and hard and one Kara had never seen on his face before. Even in the midst of planning an offensive, his eyes had always held a special sparkle. "I didn't mean it."_

"_You lied to me, Kara." His hand shot up and grabbed hers, twisting it hard and Kara cried out in pain. "I thought we had something."_

"_You had nothing." _

_Kara's eyes flashed to the side and she saw Leoben, that smarmy mother frakker standing there. "Kara's destiny is special and lies along a different path from you."_

_She tried to flinch away from him, but in a second Leoben was on her, his arm wrapped around her waist, his face buried in her hair where he took a sickeningly deep breath. "Kara's destiny is with me, with all of us."_

_He gestured behind him and turned them slightly and Kara's heart nearly beat out of her rib cage. She was standing in a Cylon Basestar, the red lights casting everything in a devilish glow._

"_Let me go!" She screamed and kicked and punched at him, but Leoben would not relinquish his hold on her and Kara felt her exhaustion catch up with her._

_With everything she had left, Kara opened her mouth and screamed. _

---- ----

_She watched Lee die in that clearing four more times. Twice Leoben did it, twice it was Sam. Each time, Lee fell into her arms and bled to death in seconds and Kara could only hold his lifeless form in her arms while the Cylons spouted nonsense about her destiny and Sam called her a liar and a whore and a half a dozen other names she'd heard before._

_Each time Lee died, she thought for sure she wouldn't survive it. Watching his blue eyes go lifeless, feeling his last breath rasp against her face was too much. She couldn't go through this again. But the worst moment was right after his life ebbed away and the cry of her daughter ripped through the night. She could never find her, could never reach her and Kara just sat on ground, Lee's dead body in her lap and Aurora's pained cries in her ears._

_Closing her eyes tightly, she felt more tears fall down her face and she prayed once more to Artemis and Aphrodite. "Please watch over your son Lee Adama as he passes from this life into the next."_

_She knew on some level it was all a dream, that she had the power to wake up. But she couldn't find the strength to do it. She couldn't find the trap door, the way out. She had hoped that after witnessing Lee's death five times, maybe she would get a reprieve, but when Kara opened her eyes once more, she was still standing in that clearing, staring at the stars—and Lee was standing right beside her._

"_No," she moaned, closing her eyes, willing the scene away. She couldn't go through this again._

---- ----

He had no idea what to do. The doc and his father acted as if this were the most normal thing in the world, talking to a person, trying to communicate with them when they were asleep and dreaming.

Yeah, there was nothing normal about this. Glad he'd managed to pass Aurora off to his father so he could focus all his attention on Kara, Lee sat as close to her as he could, taking her hand in his. As minutes passed and he still had no idea what to do, she moaned out a pained "No." His heart beat fast in his chest and he knew that no matter how ridiculous or stupid he felt he had to reach her.

Resting his other hand to her cheek, he called to her softly, "Kara. Kara, it's time to wake up."

---- ----

_The Lee who stood before her was not the one talking to her and Kara found herself more than confused._

"_What?"_

"Kara."

_The voice was ephemeral and she had the hardest time placing it. Turning, she glanced into the surrounding shadows, looking for the Lee who was calling to her. "Lee?"_

"Yeah, Kara, it's me. You're safe on Galatica."

_She wasn't on Galactica. Couldn't he see that? "Lee, I—"_

"_Kara."_

_Simon's slick voice washed over her like oil and she shivered as she turned back to the clearing, seeing Lee's body once again pouring blood and falling to the ground. She didn't make it back to him in time and he hit the dirt hard. _

"_Lee!"_

"I'm right here, Kara."

_She whirled towards the sound of his voice, frantically searching, wanting it to be true. "Where? I can't see you."_

"On Galactica with Aurora. You just have to wake up, Kara."

_Kara sank to her knees, feeling Simon approaching at her back, feeling Sam come close at her side, feeling Leoben's possessive eyes on her, feeling the blood from Lee's lifeless body soaking the dirt at her feet. "I can't."_

"Yes, you can."

_Lee sounded so sure, Kara almost believed him._ "I just need you to follow the sound of my voice and wake up. Okay?"

_She nodded once and glanced back. Simon, Leoben and Sam were all coming towards her and Kara would give anything to stop this nightmare. Turning away from them, she headed in the direction of the disembodied Lee's voice, knowing it meant she'd have to walk into the darkness and no longer caring._

"_Where are you?"_

"I'm right here, Kara. Just keep coming and open your eyes."

_Her eyes were open, weren't they? Biting her lower lip, Kara took the last step, from the clearing and into the shadow, past the circle of monoliths and then closed her eyes tight before opening them again._

_And she was finally awake._

----- ----

As Lee watched Kara's eyes flutter open, he felt the biggest weight lift off his chest. "Doc!" he yelled over his shoulder, refusing to leave Kara's side for even a second.

"You did it, Kara," he murmured, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to her forehead, her cheeks. "You did it. You're okay."

"Lee?" her voice was so shaky, he almost didn't recognize it. He felt her cold fingers reach for his cheek and he leaned back slightly so she could really see him.

"It's me, Kara. I'm here, you're okay."

Recognition washed over her face before it crumpled with sadness and she began to cry. Immediately, Lee slid into bed beside her and pulled her into his side. "Shh, it's all right, Kara."

"I'm so sorry, Lee," she breathed, her voice thick with tears. "I'm sorry."

His heart beat sharply as he realized just how much Kara had suffered and just how much healing she had left to do. "Everything's okay, Kara. You're safe. I love you."

She shuddered with a violent sob and then pressed her forehead into his neck and breathed deep. For a second he thought she might return the sentiment, but instead she held onto him more tightly and apologized again. "I'm sorry."

Cottle entered then and shooed Lee away, even as Kara tried to keep him next to her. With a gentle promise that Lee would be allowed to return once he and Ishay were done, Kara finally released him. As he reluctantly left the bed, he saw Kara's eyes meet his, a question surfacing through the fear. "I'll be back," he mouthed and he thought for sure she nodded before he slipped out.

His father met him on the other side and Lee all but fell against him. "She'll be all right, son," his dad reminded him, patting a reassuring hand on his back. "The hardest part's over."

Lee doubted that were true, but he had no desire to fight. Instead, he leaned back and glanced to Aurora. She was awake, blue eyes wide and open. He reached for her and his father gave her over easily. Leaning down, Lee pressed a kiss to her cheek, taking a moment just to be with her.

Ten minutes later when Cottle and Ishay emerged and told Lee he was allowed back in, he turned to his father and handed his daughter back.

"I want to be sure Kara's ready," he said, answering the unspoken question on his father's face. "I think she might need a little time to collect herself."

Stroking a finger down his daughter's cheek, Lee gazed at her face for a second longer and then sighed. "Can you watch her?"

"Of course, son." His father gripped his shoulder tight and told him, "Go take care of our girl."

Swallowing hard, Lee nodded and then took a deep breath, before pulling back Kara's curtain.

His breath caught in his throat as her hazel eyes stared at him. He had never her seen so lost before and it physically pained him. Noting his gaze, she quickly averted her eyes, staring at the ceiling of Life Station while she took deep, shaky breaths. Lee was certain he had seen tears pooling in her eyes. He would do anything to take them away.

Gingerly, he sat on the edge of her bed, reaching for her hand. As soon as his warm fingers closed around her frozen ones, she flinched, but Lee refused to give up the contact. Obviously she was still having a hard time staying grounded in reality and he was determined to keep her with him.

"Are you all right?" he asked softly, realizing it was the stupidest question.

She shook her head slightly and then closed her eyes, rolling her face towards him and sighing heavily. With her eyes closed, Lee could see the deep bags beneath her them—the ones that looked like she'd gotten into a fight with a very burly opponent and lost. He could also see the paleness of her skin and the exhaustion that seem to permeate her entire being.

Lee tentatively reached out a hand and laid it softly against her cheek. Just as he was about to lean down and place a kiss to her forehead, her eyes fluttered opened and she whispered, "Hey."

He kissed her, lips lingering for an extra moment, breathing her in, before straightening. His hand still against her cheek, he shifted so his hip was next to hers on the bed and met her gaze.

"Hey. How are you feeling?"

She frowned and Lee knew that was the only answer he'd get. "Where's Aurora?" she asked, gently threading her fingers through Lee's where he held her hand at her side.

"With dad," he told her, stroking his thumb over her knuckles as she continued to stare at their joined hands. "She's resting."

"She must be hungry," Kara murmured, glancing up to him and looking sadder—if that were even possible. "I should feed her."

"She's okay, Kara. We found some formula and she's fine."

She nodded absently and then silence filled the space between them. Lee found it harder and harder to keep quiet and finally, he blurted, "What did you dream about?"

"Caprica, New Caprica, Zak, Sam. You name it, I probably relived it."

He wasn't fooled by her sardonic tone or the slight smirk she offered him. He had heard the pain in her voice, the anguish. He had watched her struggle to find her way back to reality and that wasn't anything to joke about.

"Can you talk about it?"

She didn't answer and in truth, he hadn't expected her to. Instead she released another breath and then just stared past him. Lee resisted the urge to push her, choosing to move his hand from her cheek to comb through her hair. She closed her eyes at the comforting gesture and Lee felt the weight in his heart lighten. If he could help her, in any way he'd do it, and seeing some of the tension leave her face was a relief.

"It was bad, Lee," she finally whispered, still not opening her eyes. His hand faltered for a second in her hair, but he recovered quickly and continued stroking while she spoke in a whisper. "Zak was there and then he was gone." Her eyes fluttered open, such pain radiating in their depths Lee felt his knees buckle. "You were there and then you were gone. Sam, Leoben, Simon." She shuddered and then pulled away from him, rolling onto her back and staring at the ceiling. Lee felt the absence of her instantly, but stayed where he was. He knew he couldn't force this. Plus, while she had rolled away from him, his hip was still connected to hers from his position on the bed. At least they had one point of contact.

"Do we have to do this now, Lee?"

Lee's heart lurched. He would never knowingly cause her pain, but he knew it was important for her to do this. "Kara, I'm not trying to upset you, but I …" He faltered. Was there a good reason for him to do this? For him to make her relive these awful experiences except for the very selfish fact that he wanted to know?

"Kara, I … Please let me help." It was all he wanted, truthfully. He wanted to help. And he wanted her to let him. "I love you."

Kara's eyes returned to his and while they had been wide before, they now seemed to glow in the dim light of Life Station. The hand he held began to tremble and Lee squeezed it harder, watching with concern as that tremble spread throughout her body.

"Lee-" her pained cry was choked off into a sob. Lee felt it coming and acted quickly. Leaning forward, he worked his arm under her, holding her tight to his chest. He had never seen her so shaken—not after Sam's death, not after the end of the worlds, not even over Zak.

"Breathe, Kara. Just breathe." Shifting to sit behind her, he rubbed his hand along her back, hoping to calm her. "Everything's okay, I promise. I'm not going anywhere."

"You …" She was panting, but she seemed determined to get the words out and so, he watched her closely and listened. "You died. In … my …. dream. It was my fault."

Burying his face in her hair, Lee wrapped his arm around her waist and held her tight. "I'm right here, Kara. I'm fine. We're both fine."

"I couldn't stop it, Lee." She turned slightly to face him and the pain on her features made his heart beat sharply in his chest. "I tried, I swear, I tried, but they just kept coming and I—"

Her voice finally dissolved into sobs and she couldn't go on. Turning her more into his body, Lee cradled her to him like a small child, whispering more words of encouragement, trying to comfort her. He couldn't stand to see her this way, but he had no idea how to fix it and so he would just stay close and hope it was enough.

He didn't know how long she cried, how long they sat there. The nurse came to check on them once, but Lee had waved her off and after a cursory glance at Kara's vitals, she'd left them in peace. Now, the lights were dimming for the night cycle and Lee knew they both needed rest.

Kara had calmed against him, her breathing still shallow and heavy with tears, but even and he was grateful. Adjusting her slightly, Lee worked his way out from underneath her. He had almost stood when her hand curled into his tanks and wouldn't let go. "Don't leave," she pleaded and Lee turned to her, pressing a kiss to her hair.

"I'm not, Kara. I just need to kick my shoes off and I'm going to get an extra blanket."

She nodded reluctantly at this explanation, letting his shirt go slowly and then watching his every move as he toed off his boots and then crossed the small space to a cabinet. He knew there was an extra blanket in there and pillow which was just what he needed.

As he returned to Kara's side, she scooted over on the bed, making as much room for him as she could. Lee slid in beside her, propping the extra pillow behind his head and pulling both blankets over them.

Kara snuggled into his side instantly and Lee marveled at how good it felt. It was like coming home, like the most natural thing in the world and he couldn't believe it.

"Is your dad okay to keep Aurora?" she asked softly.

Lee nodded, pressing a kiss into her hair. "Yeah, Kara. He's fine. He just wants you to get better."

She nodded and stayed quiet for a few minutes, before adding, "I want to see her."

"First thing in the morning, okay?" Lee was exhausted and knew Kara was too. And right now, he didn't want Kara to use Rory as a distraction. She was too good at using their daughter as a deflective technique and Lee wasn't going to fall for it again—at least, not in the next eight hours.

Lee only relaxed once he felt Kara's breathing become deep and even. He released a silent prayer to the Gods that she'd be able to sleep unimpeded by dreams. Said another prayer that he would have the strength and patience to see her through this.

---- ----


	13. Chapter 13

Title: Captive, Chapter 13

Pairing: Lee/Kara

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: Not mine. If they were, I would have put Lee and Kara into bed together and not Roslin and Adama (thanks for that mental image, Ron)!

Summary: Kara's awake and Lee's by her side. Can they make it work or will Kara's demons find a way to ruin her chance at happiness?

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Chapter 13

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Kara awoke and immediately wanted to run. She knew it was Lee sleeping beside her; knew she was on Galactica; knew that she should feel safe.

She didn't. Everything around her seemed too normal, while everything inside her felt strange, foreign. She didn't know if she'd ever feel normal again.

"Kara?"

The soft voice of the admiral startled her and her eyes snapped to a small part in the curtain around her bed. She sat up slowly, trying not to jostle Lee too much. But the second she caught sight of her daughter in the Old Man's arms, all of her attention focused on her.

Adama entered, offering Aurora to her without hesitation. "I think she's hungry," he said, his voice still a whisper.

"I'll bet," Kara replied, surprised by the raspy tone of her voice. She stared down at her daughter, fixated on her wide blue eyes as they stared back at her. She wasn't fussing, but her head immediately turned to Kara's breast, mouth puckering as it sought out breakfast.

"I'll leave you to it." Adama leaned toward her and pressed a kiss to her forehead. Kara did her best not to flinch at the affectionate contact. She knew she should say something else, knew there were words that were expected, but she just couldn't manage them.

As the admiral's shadow fell away, Kara worked her tongue around, trying to find the urge to speak. "Thank you," she finally managed, voice still hoarse, but stronger than before.

She glanced up and met the admiral's gaze, surprised to find his eyes shining with tears. "I'll be back to check on you later," he told her and then left.

Kara focused back on Aurora, working her gown off her shoulder so she could feed her. Still quiet and only cooing occasionally, Aurora seemed intent on her mother. Kara wondered if the awe of her would ever wear off. She hoped not.

As soon as her breast was bare and the baby was in place, Aurora latched on with a vengeance, suckling hungrily. Kara grimaced a bit at the slight pinch and then settled back.

_Oh, baby girl_, she thought, eyes roaming over her daughter, the warm weight of her against Kara's chest almost more familiar than anything else. _I missed you. I hope you had a good night with Grandpa. I think you've already got him wrapped around your little finger. Just like your daddy._

Kara resisted the urge to look at Lee. She still felt raw, too exposed with all of her emotions, her demons, her fears, running right on the surface. She worried that if Lee regarded her too closely, he'd see them all.

_I love you, Aurora. I want you to understand that. I hope you know it. I hope you never doubt it._

"Hey."

Lee's voice startled her so much she jumped, dislodging Aurora and causing the girl to whimper. As she resituated her, Kara was glad she had the distraction so she didn't have to look at Lee.

"Hey," she murmured, still staring at her daughter.

Lee's hand came up and gently rubbed the bottom of Aurora's foot. She kicked her legs out, obviously too intent on eating to be bothered and Lee chuckled.

Kara closed her eyes, trying to bottle that sound and the feeling it engendered in her. The warmth that spread throughout her chest. It felt good and she almost couldn't believe how much she reveled in it.

"Kara."

Blinking, she glanced to Lee, inhaling sharply at the sight of one of his heart-stopping smiles. Kara felt it, just like always—that slight weakness in her knees, the hitch in her breath at just the sight of him. He was so handsome and his face held a depth of emotion, for her, for their child that made her squeeze her eyes shut if only to have a moment's respite from the intensity of it.

Obviously, Lee thought it meant something else, because he sat forward quickly, smile fading to a frown. "Kara, what is it? Are you in pain?"

Forcing her eyes open, Kara gave him the biggest smile she could, which was pathetic, and shook her head. "No, just glad to see this little one," she murmured.

She ignored Lee's stare as best she could, gazing instead at her daughter who was still feeding like a champ. She knew Lee didn't believe her claim that everything was all right, even before he pressed the point.

"Kara, please don't do this. Don't shut me out."

When she couldn't find the strength to speak without her voice shaking, Lee continued, his voice soft and insistent. "Kara. I think we should talk about it. About what happened." He was still walking on eggshells, she could tell by the hesitancy in his tone.

In true Kara Thrace fashion, she decided to exploit it. "Lee, there's nothing to talk about. I was a prisoner of war. You rescued me. End of story."

The frown that creased his forehead told her he couldn't swallow that story any more than he could swallow the Chief's hooch. "There's a reason you passed out. A reason you were lost so deep in a coma that the doc needed me to reach you. I want to know what it is." Leaning closer, Lee placed his hands on her shoulders and Kara again felt a violent need to run away. "Please, Kara. I want to know what happened. I want to help you."

She shook her head. "No, you don't, Lee. Just leave it."

He sat back swiftly as if slapped and Kara tried to ignore the cold chill that settled over her.

"No." He rose, pacing, anger radiating off him in waves. "No, Kara. You're not doing this. You wanted me here last night. You need me, just as much as I need you. I know you love me."

The words caused Kara to shudder. The last person she'd said that to had been a psychotic Cylon. How could those three little words ever mean the same thing again?

"Lee, please don't do this."

Aurora pulled herself from Kara's breast and began to cry. Kara shifted her, rubbing her back, but it didn't calm her like it normally did. And for some reason that brought a light of triumph to Lee's eyes.

"She knows you're upset," he proclaimed, a tight smile on his features. "She only fusses like that when you're upset, Kara."

She refused to believe her child was a human mood ring. "No, Lee, it's just gas or a dirty diaper. Just—"

"Kara, whatever happened down there, whatever Leoben did … it doesn't matter."

She didn't know how he could be so wrong. "Yes, Lee. It does."

He circled the bed swiftly and took her by the shoulders so fast she didn't have time to pull away. Lowering his face to hers, he locked their eyes and she could barely breathe. There wasn't anger there, not really. She knew angry-Lee and this wasn't him. This was desperate-Lee, this was concerned-Lee, this was I'm-so-frakking-out-of-my-mind-with-worry-I-don't-know-what-to-do-Lee.

This was in-love-Lee. And confronted with him, Kara was helpless.

"No, Kara. You're back, we're together and we have a child, that's all that matters."

Kara knew he wouldn't relinquish his stand without a fight, and she wasn't yet strong enough to really counter him. To make matters worse, Aurora cried out loudly. Kara glanced to her daughter and saw her face was scrunched up, cheeks red and eyes welling with tears.

"Oh, baby, what's wrong?" Kara rocked her back and forth, cooing soft words in her ear. Seeing her daughter's pain was enough to break her heart, but hearing her cries so reminiscent of her nightmares raised goose bumps on her arms.

Closing her eyes, the image of Lee's dead body at her feet flashed before her eyes and she shuddered violently.

"Kara, what is it?"

The touch of Lee's hand to her shoulder brought her back to the present and Kara's eyes snapped open. As Aurora's cries grew more insistent, she couldn't handle it. Lifting her from her shoulder, Kara pushed the baby in Lee's direction. "Take her."

Still confused, Lee did, holding Aurora close. She kept crying, but seemed to quiet a little and Kara was grateful.

"Let me call my dad. I'll have him watch her for—"

"No, Lee. Your father already had her all night and he's got a battlestar to run. You should take her home."

"Kara."

The pained tone in his voice made Kara's stomach turn. "Go, Lee, Please. Just … leave me alone."

Silence—tense, taut—descended upon them. Kara stared at her lap, refusing to look at Lee or her daughter for fear she'd take it all back and just drag Lee into the disaster that was Kara Thrace.

"She isn't a substitute for you, Kara."

She inhaled sharply at the determination in his voice. He wasn't letting this go. "I love you both and I know we can be together."

"Lee." It was just a sigh really, a plea, but at this point, she had no idea what she was asking him for. Forgiveness, mercy, understanding, love, anger. She just didn't know. In some ways, she wanted each of those in equal parts, but what she really wanted was to erase the last four months from their lives.

Aurora was still crying and when she opened her eyes again, she saw that Lee was doing his damnedest to calm her down. Catching her gaze over the baby's head, he told her, "I'll be back, Kara. I love you."

He turned and left hurriedly and as Aurora's cries faded, Kara fell back against the bed, staring at the gunmetal gray ceiling. She had only ever contemplated eating the end of her gun twice in her life—once after Zak died and right now.

It was only the thought of Aurora that kept her from finding the nearest arms locker and pulling the trigger.

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Five Days Later

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"How is Kara?"

"Not speaking to me." Lee sighed heavily, wishing he had better news to report. "I just took the baby to her and she barely looked up."

"Give her time, son." His father's gravelly voice didn't instill any comfort. "She's been through a lot."

"I know that!" Lee's frustration, his anger had been simmering for days and now, it burst forth, propelling him to his feet, making him pace and futilely wring his hands. "But will she tell me anything? No. She just keeps saying I won't understand, keeps saying that it's better if we're apart and that's bullshit!"

He struck out hard, his fist connecting with the closest wall. Lee barely registered the throbbing pain in his knuckles. "It's total bullshit. If she would just be honest with me, if she had just been honest with herself, none of this would have happened."

His father's silence told him he was surprised by his outburst, but not nearly as surprised as Lee. He thought he'd moved past this. Thought that the resentment Kara had warned him about was just a passing emotion. Apparently, he'd been wrong and it sickened him.

"Lee."

He forced himself to meet his father's gaze, knowing that shame and regret was etched into his own.

"Do you blame Kara for what happened?"

His father's penetrating gaze demanded nothing but the truth. "Sometimes." The admission sank his heart to his toes and Lee sat heavily with the weight of it. "I try not to, but every once in a while, I think about that morning. I think about what would have happened if Kara had woken up and married me." His eyes fell to the decking, the familiar burn of angry tears causing them to sting. "We never would have been on the surface. Leoben never would have gotten to her. She would have been safe."

Adama was silent and Lee fought to collect himself. He couldn't believe he'd admitted his most shameful secret—that yes, sometimes he wanted everything in the past year and a half to be Kara's fault. Because forgoing his own responsibility meant forgoing his guilt too.

"You tried to reason with her," his father said quietly. "That morning. I remember."

Lee snorted. "There was no reasoning with Kara. She was convinced she'd done the right thing for both of us."

"And you didn't agree?"

"Frak no!" Lee rose again, unable to sit still. "That night, dad, it was the best night of my life. I knew she was scared. I knew that and I stupidly thought I could be enough for her. I thought she trusted me. I was such an idiot."

He paused and took a deep breath, before adding, "And if I blame Kara, even a little, I have to blame myself. I obviously didn't do enough to convince her, didn't show her how much I loved her. And even after she ran, I let her go when I knew it was a mistake."

Lee knew that grabbing Kara by the hair and forcibly dragging her onto the raptor that morning would never have worked. She would have kicked and screamed and clawed and Sam probably would have had something to say about it as well. But that didn't mean Lee didn't regret not giving it a try.

"It kills me that all of this happened," he said into the silence, staring at nothing, unable to even glance in the direction of his father. "It kills me that my daughter was delivered by Cylons and that I wasn't there for Kara and that it took me four frakkin' months to get to her." He took a deep, shuddering breath and turned to leave. He couldn't handle his father's scrutiny or his own self-loathing any longer.

"But what absolutely destroys me is that Kara and I couldn't trust each other. That we both ran when we should have stuck. And now we're paying the price."

Lee spun the hatch handle, not even willing to glance back and gauge his father's reaction. Just as he stepped past the threshold, his father called, "Don't give up on her, Lee. I know she loves you and I know the two of you can work through this."

He only nodded before exiting and heading listlessly back toward life station.

Gods, he wished he could give up on Kara Thrace. But how was it possible to dismiss someone who owned you, body, heart and soul? How could he forget her when every time he looked at his daughter he saw Kara? How could he walk away when she was as much a part of him as his frakking legs? No, giving up on Kara wasn't an option. Lee only hoped that sticking with her didn't mean the end of them both.

He reached life station quickly and had to stand out in the corridor for a handful of minutes before he felt even remotely stable enough to go in. He was exhausted from the effort of watching Kara pull away; of watching the woman he loved retreat into herself. His heart felt as though it lay open and bleeding at her feet and he guessed it was only a matter of time before it stopped beating all together.

Shaking his head swiftly, Lee forced his melancholy away, forced himself to stand straight and tall and pretend nothing was wrong—he'd certainly had years of practice.

Entering the med wing, he glanced about, and caught sight of Cottle. Heading toward him, he asked, "Doc? Any word on when Kara'll be getting out of here?"

The older man turned to regard him and the annoyance on his features seemed to soften a bit. "I would say another day, maybe two if she keeps refusing to eat."

Lee's heart thudded against his rib cage. "What?"

Cottle took a long drag on his dwindling cigarette, before snuffing it out in the nearest kidney tray. "She's started refusing to eat. Not her entire meal, but we can only get her to go for a few bites, before she pushes it away. She needs her strength, Apollo. And she needs the nutrition if she's going to keep feeding Aurora."

Lee's fatigue morphed into anger. Kara could pull all the shit on him that she wanted, but Aurora didn't deserve this.

"Don't worry, doc," he growled, turning and stalking toward Kara's bed. "She'll eat."

As he whipped back the curtain, he caught sight of Kara's startled gaze as she clutched the baby tight her chest with panic. Lee immediately felt bad for causing her to worry. He knew she was jumpier now, and it wasn't fair to compound that problem, no matter his reason.

"Sorry," he murmured, entering the area and closing the curtain behind him. She stared at him for a second longer, her expression unreadable, before returning her gaze to Aurora, who was sleeping contentedly in her arms. "How is she?"

"Fine." Kara's voice hardly sounded like her own. Smoothing her hand over the baby's blanket, she did everything she could to avoid him. It pained Lee even more.

Sitting gingerly on the edge of her bed, he asked quietly, "And how are you?"

She didn't answer him. It was what he was expecting, but news that she wasn't eating wasn't something he was just going to let slide. "Cottle told me you've stopped eating."

That got a reaction. With a violent frown, her eyes darted to his face. "That's a bit of an overstatement. I just haven't been very hungry."

"Kara, you have to eat. Especially since you're breast feeding."

"She's fine." There was no mistaking the defensiveness in her tone. Leaning back from him, she dropped her eyes back to her lap. "Aurora is fine, the doc said she's gaining weight just like she's supposed to."

"But she won't if you don't stay healthy, Kara. Come on, you know that." He risked touching her, reaching for her hand. As soon as his fingers brushed her cold skin, she jumped back as if shocked and Lee closed his hand into a tight fist, unable to keep his anger and disappointment at bay.

"She's fine," she whispered again.

And that was when Lee decided enough was enough. Leaning forward, he cradled his arms and said, "Let me take her."

Kara's gaze flicked to his face and with a scowl, she surrendered their daughter to him, after placing a kiss to her forehead. Rising, Lee didn't bother saying goodbye, he just left, taking Aurora and tracking down Ishay about two beds over.

"Can you watch her for a bit?" he asked, trying to offer her a charming smile and failing miserably. "I really need to talk to Kara."

Ishay smiled brightly and eagerly took the baby. "Of course, Commander. You know I love this little one."

Aurora barely woke as she was handed off and Lee was grateful. He couldn't take her pained cries and her mother's pained looks at the same time.

Hurrying back to Kara, he parted the curtain and stepped inside and was surprised when Kara glared at him. "Where is she?" she demanded, sitting up straighter and crossing her arms over her chest. "Why aren't you with her?"

"She's with Ishay," Lee explained, stepping to the side of the bed, but not sitting down. "I want to talk to you."

She looked away quickly. "I've said everything I needed to say."

"You know what, Kara? Bullshit." He was glad when his outburst garnered another reaction from her; this was the most she'd acknowledged him for most of the past week. "You haven't said anything. You're hiding, just like you did on New Caprica, only this time, I'm not going to let you get away with it."

"So, what, Apollo? You're going to force me to marry you? To love you?" Her eyes burned with anger and Lee had to admit it warmed his heart. "You're no better than Leoben."

He couldn't help striking her. His hand flew so fast, he barely registered his palm connecting with her cheek, until he heard the smack in the room. He staggered back as he realized what he'd done, watching as Kara cradled her now red cheek in her palm, blinking back tears.

"Kara, I …" What words could he possibly say? There was nothing that would make this all right.

She took a moment, taking a few deep breaths and then turned to him, eyes steely, voice hard. "I told you, Lee. All of this is too much. What we have between us. You just proved it. We'll kill each other."

"No." Lee refused to believe that. "No, Kara. I love you and I _know_ you love me."

She glanced away quickly and Lee guessed it was because he'd caught her in the lie. "Why won't you tell me?" He hated how his voice cracked on the last word. Hated how much those stupid words would mean to him if they came from her.

"They're just words, Lee," she murmured, smoothing her blanket over her lap. "They don't mean anything."

He wasn't sure how it was possible to be this destroyed and still standing. He had no other words and so instead, he began to slowly back from the room, watching as she stared at nothing. As he reached the curtain, she asked, "Will you bring Aurora by tomorrow?"

The vengeful and hurting part of Lee reared its ugly head. "Not until the doc tells me you're eating to his satisfaction."

The pain that flashed through her eyes, followed quickly by rage actually scared him a little. "You frakker, you can't keep her from me."

"She needs you to be healthy, Kara." He couldn't believe what he was saying. Was he really contemplating separating Aurora from her mother? Did he really think this was the way to win her heart? Apparently so, because he couldn't stop digging his own grave. "Once Cottle says you've eaten two full meals, you can see her. Until then, she stays with me."

"I hate you." She spit the words at him and Lee didn't even flinch.

Instead, he shrugged. "I know," and then walked away, listening half-heartedly as she screamed obscenities in his direction.

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	14. Chapter 14

Title: **Captive**, Chapter 14

Pairing: Lee/Kara

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: It's not mine.

Summary: Lee and Kara have reached an impasse. Is their daughter going to suffer the consequence?

A/N: Because everyone was so great about Chapter 13, I decided to work really hard to get Chapter 14 ready. So here it is … it is still a little angsty though, so hang in there!

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Chapter 14

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Kara was feigning sleep when she heard the whisper of the curtain parting at the foot of her bed. As her visitor waited ten seconds, thirty, a minute, she finally opened her eyes, surprised to find the admiral looking down at her.

"Sir." She was in no mood for company and she guessed the Old Man would figure that out soon enough.

"Kara."

His expression was unreadable, a talent she envied. Most people knew if she was fired up or pissed off. Although only Lee seemed to know when she was scared, weak. His level of insight was just another reason she disliked him.

Kara held Adama's gaze, waiting for him to speak, waiting for him to say whatever it was he had come to say so she could dismiss him and he would leave.

He sat on the edge of her bed, hands clasped before him and when he finally did speak, he didn't look at her.

"I heard about your fight with Lee."

Kara could hear the reproach in his tone and it fueled her anger. "He's using my child as a frakkin' pawn."

"She's his child, too, Kara."

As if she could forget. There was no way she could even pretend it wasn't true, because Rory's blue eyes were an exact replica of her father's. "He doesn't have the right to keep her from me."

Adama finally turned to face her and the pure sadness in his features was enough to make her heart stop. "Then why won't you eat, Kara? Why are you trying to destroy yourself?"

"For frak's sake." She was done. Kara Thrace—Starbuck—was done being an invalid, done being pitied, done being treated like a wounded animal.

She'd had enough.

Pushing back her blankets, Kara swung her legs over the edge of the bed and stood slowly. The cold decking on the soles of her feet immediately made her want to crawl back under the covers, but she stood straight and tall. Taking a moment to gain her balance, she then began to search the room. "Where the frak are my clothes?"

She began hunting, surprised the admiral hadn't yet forced her ass back into bed. As she looked everywhere and could find nothing, she headed for the curtain, ready to threaten somebody's health in order to get some frakkin' sweats.

That's when the Old Man stopped her.

His hand on her arm was firm, but not tight. Kara considered shrugging him off a split second before deciding against it. Maybe if she let him speak his peace, he'd butt the hell out.

"Kara. Just stop."

No, that wasn't an option. Stopping meant dying; stopping, resting, thinking meant remembering and she couldn't do that. But she didn't know how to tell him, didn't know how to convey all that without being weak and so Kara kept her silence.

"Is this really what you want, Kara? To push Lee away? To lose the chance to see your daughter?"

Kara whirled, unable to keep the tremor from her tone as she all but spat at the man she'd often looked to as a father. "I am a good mother and Aurora loves me. Once I'm out of this frakkin' hospital, I will get her back."

"And what about Lee, Kara?" The admiral seemed completely nonplussed by her outburst and his placidity simply rankled her more. "Do you really want Lee gone? Do you really want him to leave you alone?"

There was a part of Kara that broke lose at the statement. A part that had once held hope and passion and humor and had shared it with Lee because she loved him. But it didn't exist anymore and now, it was gone, floating away on the flotsam of debris that had once been her soul.

"I just …" She felt the sting of traitorous tears and ducked her head so the admiral wouldn't see. "I just wanna hurt someone." Taking a deep, shuddering breath, she added, "And it might as well be Lee."

The Old Man had no answer for that. She knew she was lashing out, knew that her anger was misplaced and that she should look at the situation, rationally and calmly. But the four months inside that cell had colored Kara's world view to a startling degree and now, she barely remembered which end was up. She could barely make out who was a friend and who was an enemy, as it seemed they kept switching sides. And now Lee, the man who supposedly loved her, had taken her daughter away … just like Leoben.

And that was unacceptable.

"Can you ask the nurse to bring me some clothes?"

If the admiral was surprised by her request, he didn't show it. Instead, he gazed at her for a second more with hollow eyes and then nodded, before brushing past her and leaving.

Kara ignored the sharp chill that settled on her skin as she realized she was alone.

---- ----

Aurora was sleeping and Lee was attempting to when he heard a knock on his hatch. It took him a few seconds to come awake, but once he did, he all but tripped over his feet to answer it. He had a fleeting hope that it might be Kara, that maybe she had come to her senses.

He was more than disappointed, when he swung it open to find Helo on the other side.

"Hey there, Apollo."

Lee grimaced at him and Helo shook his head, stifling a chuckle before stepping inside and shutting the door behind him. "What's the matter, _dad_? Fatherhood a little harder than you expected?"

"No, being a single parent is a little harder than I expected," he shot back, immediately regretting the words. Even ten hours after leaving a screaming Kara in life station, he still hadn't managed to curb his pettiness.

Helo didn't respond and Lee was grateful. Heading to the bathroom, he splashed a few handfuls of lukewarm water on his face and felt at least marginally human when he emerged.

"Was there something you needed?"

The taller man glanced up from where he was gazing down at Aurora, sleeping in her crib. There was genuine affection on his features and Lee was reminded that he had almost been a father himself. "She's really pretty amazing, Apollo."

"Trust me, I know." Lee crossed the room and stood on the opposite side of her crib. It pained him a bit to look at her because every time he did, he saw Kara there. Gods, he wished it didn't hurt.

"I heard about your fight with Kara."

Lee didn't glance up even though the memory was still fresh enough to sting. "I'm sure most of the ship did."

"You gotta cut her some slack, Lee."

Oh no. He snapped his eyes to Karl's face and, while keeping his tone low, laced it with venom. "No, Helo. Uh-huh. You told me that months ago and I went after Kara. And I thought we were finally going to get it right, but you know what? She frakkin' bailed on me again. So don't come into my home and tell me—"

"She was kidnapped, Lee."

The words stopped him cold, even though he'd heard them before. He had frakkin' lived every second of her captivity.

"She was taken, against her will, from her home, from you and forced to live with a Cylon who believes that Kara has a special destiny. And while she was there, trapped and scared, she gave birth to your daughter."

He knew all of this … so why did Helo repeating it suddenly make him feel like the Galactica's biggest asshole?

"And you think a week back on Galactica, back with you is going to make it all better?"

He glanced up and met Helo's gaze, not at all surprised by the amount of compassion there. Helo was a good man and he was Kara's friend. And he was here right now because he cared. Lee wasn't sure how he'd lost sight of that.

"I told her I loved her, Karl. I told her over and over and I asked her to talk to me. I waited for her to tell me what the hell has got her so spooked and she just shut down. She stopped eating. What the frak was I supposed to do?" He really wished Helo had the answer. He wished someone did. "Tell me what I'm supposed to do and I'll do it."

Helo sighed heavily and then took a step back. Crossing the small space, he sank onto the end of the sofa his father had managed to procure and then looked back to Lee.

"How long have you known Kara?"

Lee stopped short, uncertain what that had to do with anything. "Well, I met her once or twice at the academy, but it wasn't really until Zak introduced us that I got to know her. So, I guess, five years."

"And what do you know about her?" Helo sat back, arm draped over the back of the couch and Lee grew even more puzzled. How the frak could he be so relaxed?

"What do you mean?" When Helo refused to elaborate, Lee began his list. "I know she likes Caprican cigars. I know she'd kill for a good piece of chocolate. I know that before the worlds ended she liked war movies with big explosions. I know the dark still wigs her out a bit. I know that flying is the only thing she's ever wanted to do."

Helo interrupted. "And I know that her mother used to beat the shit out of her. I know that her father left her, with her abusive mother when she was six."

Lee froze at these words and watched shocked beyond all measure as Helo continued. "I know that Kara thought her dad left because she wasn't enough of a reason for him to stay. And I know that the first person she ever loved, after her dad, was Zak. And I know that he died."

Lee sank into the nearest chair, staring at nothing, trying to connect the dots Helo had so meticulously laid before him.

"I know that she loved Sam and he died too. And I know that she loves that baby sleeping over there."

_The baby I took away from her,_ Lee thought with anguish, unable to actually voice the words.

"And I know Kara loves you."

"I don't." He couldn't believe he'd admitted it, but it was the truth. Since the night they'd shouted it to the sky—which seemed a lifetime ago—Kara hadn't said the words. He knew they were just words, syllables really, but for some reason he needed to hear them. He needed her to tell him.

He needed her.

"She does, Apollo." Helo rose and paced back to Aurora's crib, bending his tall frame almost in half to plant a light kiss on the girl's head. "I know she does, because if she didn't, she wouldn't be trying so hard to protect you."

Lee couldn't believe that. He didn't believe that even Kara would equate her recent actions with some kind of mercy. "Protect me from what, Helo?"

Helo crossed the room and swung open the hatch, waiting until he had stepped out in the corridor before turning back to Lee with a slight smile on his face. "From herself."

And then he was gone and Lee wasn't sure what had just happened.

Aurora awoke then with a cry, but Lee was paralyzed. His feet refused to move and he stood staring at nothing, trying to understand. He let her cry for a few minutes, unable to offer her comfort when his own soul was split in two.

What Helo said made sense—to a point. But then, most of what Starbuck did only made a "certain kind of sense." But still, he didn't see how any of that insight was supposed to help him. The fact was, Kara refused to give him even an inch and had gone so far as to basically cut him out of her life. She barely spoke to him, couldn't tolerate his presence and only seemed even remotely animated when discussion turned to their daughter.

Aurora.

Another hiccup and then a sob punctuated the small space and Lee lunged toward it, scooping Aurora off the bed. He held her against his shoulder, jiggling her up and down. "It's okay, baby, daddy's here," he whispered, rubbing soothing circles along her back. She hiccupped a few more times, but her tears stopped until all that was left was the occasional whimper.

Lee kept walking with her, pacing the small room, replaying his most recent conversation with Kara in his head. She had said she hated him. It had hurt, there was no denying that. But maybe … had he seen something else? Had she given him even a hint that maybe she really didn't want him to go away? Maybe she did love him?

Gods, Lee wanted to believe that with everything he had. And if Helo was right, if Kara was determined to push him away to protect him, then Lee just had to be immovable. He would be the one person—the one man—in Kara's life who would stay.

Aurora sighed softly against his neck and Lee stopped, his heart swelling with love for her once more. It came over him at the oddest times. Pressing a kiss to her temple, he murmured, "I love you, little one. And I love your mom and we're all going to be a family.

"I promise."

---- ----

Kara was a hundred feet from Life Station by the time she realized, she had no idea where to find Lee. She knew he was no longer bunking with the senior officers and considering the Pegasus had been destroyed in the battle for New Caprica, she knew he couldn't be off ship.

But where exactly she'd find him was a mystery.

And she didn't really have the energy to go hunting. As much as she'd wanted to get out of bed and pretend she was fine, the moment she'd taken more than a handful of steps, her head had begun to pound, reminding her that concussions were nasty frakkers that liked to hang on. She hadn't quite gotten to the point where the world around her was spinning, but she figured it wasn't too far off.

Frak.

She paused at a juncture, leaning against the nearest wall and trying to get her bearings. If she went right she'd be heading closer to the command center of the ship; if she went left, she'd be closer to the hangar deck, bunkrooms and rec room.

She opted for left.

Of course, moving this far into familiar territory, she was bound to be discovered. It only took a little over thirty minutes for Helo to come jogging up beside her, falling into step with her slow pace as she navigated the hall. She didn't offer him a greeting.

Kara glared at the nuggets and pilots she passed knowing one of them had given up her location. One of them had betrayed her so that her best friend could come and wrangle her back to Life Station. Despite the fact that she was leaning heavily on the wall and was pretty certain standing upright under her own power wasn't a possibility, she was not going to give up. She had to find Aurora.

"So, Starbuck. What brings you down this way?"

She wasn't sure how he could always sound so jovial. She scowled. "Can it, Helo. Just leave me alone."

"Oh, I'd love too." Helo overtook her in two long strides, standing directly in her path, effectively blocking her way. Kara stopped, staring at his boots, wishing the corridor would right itself, as he continued to talk. "But see, first I got this panicked call from Ishay telling me you stormed out of Life Station. Then, I got a growled update from the Admiral that you were all but impossible and lastly, I just saw Lee about an hour ago and I'm pretty sure the guy's ready to put a gun to his head."

Kara sighed. Looking up, she gave him her best Starbuck smirk. "Sounds about par for the course."

He frowned and Kara saw the first sign of real annoyance in his eyes. "You know what, Kara? Save the nonchalant bullshit for somebody else. You're gonna _talk_ to me."

"Wow, Helo. Does Sharon actually let you be the alpha dog? I gotta say, it's a nice change of pace."

Kara wasn't quite prepared for him to all but body slam her into the bulkhead. Luckily, his hand cradled the back of her head, avoiding any further injury to her already bruised skull, but the rest of her sore body protested at the harsh movement.

Despite that, it still made her smile. "Aw, Helo. I didn't know you had it in you."

"Kara, who do you think you're kidding?" His eyes searched her face intently and Kara willed herself not to give anything away. She forced her mind to draw a blank, forced nightmare images of Leoben and New Caprica from her mind. "You went through hell and you're still going through it. Do you think any of us doesn't understand that?"

"What do you understand, Karl?" She pushed against him, but his hands on her shoulders were firm and she wasn't strong enough to break free. She caught a few suspicious glances from some passing crewmen, but did her best to ignore them. "What do you know? That I was a prisoner? Big frakking deal. Half the Galactica's crew was held by the Cylons at some point."

"Kara, it's different and you know it."

"Why? Because Leoben was obsessed with me? Because Leoben thought I was going to love him?" She all but spat the words, not surprised when Helo's grip loosened just a bit at her admission. "Yeah, Helo, that's what he wanted. He wanted him and I to be together and have a hundred hybrid babies. Happy?"

Her chest was heaving, the adrenaline of being cornered and the shock of admitting so much sending her system into overload. She watched her friend's expression turn from shock to horror to pity and this time when she shoved him off, he actually let her go. Her butt almost hit the floor without his support.

"So, now you know. Now you know why I killed that frakker eight times. He kept coming back and I kept killing him."

"Kara." Helo sounded broken and Kara barely recognized his voice. Gods, how many people in her life was she going to destroy? Maybe Lee had been right to take her baby. "Did he …" He actually couldn't finish the sentence and it took Kara a pathetically long minute to put it together.

She shuddered. "No, Helo, he didn't rape me. I think it might have crossed his mind, but he didn't. He barely touched me."

"And Aurora?"

Kara's stomach again clenched and she swallowed hard to avoid being sick. "He wanted to be close to her. To hold her, feed her, rock her to sleep. But I wouldn't let him."

Helo released a sigh. "Thank the Gods."

"He did take her once."

His eyes snapped back to her face and Kara could not believe she'd just admitted that. Was she really that weak?

With a huff, she turned and began moving back down the corridor, still going slow, but at least gaining some ground. Helo waited a beat and then she felt his presence beside her.

"Kara, what did he do?"

She shrugged. She was done sharing "It doesn't matter. All that matters is that I get to my daughter. I have to take care of her. I can't just … I can't abandon her."

"Is that what you think?" Helo tugged on her shoulder this time, giving her the choice of whether to stop. She obliged, but only because her legs were starting to shake. "Kara, Lee's just trying to get you to see what you're doing. To him, to Aurora, to yourself. He wants you to take care of yourself."

"Frak that. I'm fine."

"Then why did you stop eating, Kara?"

"Because Karl, what the frak is the point!?!!?"

Her outburst was so loud it actually echoed off the walls. A few crewmen in the vicinity paused to stare and then scampered off, once they caught sight of a fuming Starbuck. Nobody wanted to be around when she decided to blow.

"Kara—"

"No, Helo. No. You're not going to stand here and lecture me about all the good in universe and why I should go on living. Because you know what? It's all lies and you know it." She took a step closer, poking a sharp finger against the middle of his chest as she rasped, "The only thing I have, the _only thing_ that matters is my daughter. And I'm not going to let anyone, even Lee, stand in the way of that."

She started walking again, still too slow for her own liking. She knew Helo wasn't following; knew that her words had finally stopped him cold. What, did he think she was going to admit to something? Did he think she was going to be vulnerable and cry on his shoulder? If Lee couldn't get her to open up how the hell did Helo think he could?

"He's not trying to stand in your way, Kara."

She paused in spite of herself, starting to breathe heavily now that she'd pushed her body past the point of activity it was capable of. But she didn't turn to face him.

"He's trying to help. He's trying to stand beside you."

Kara had no retort for that. She supposed because she knew it was true. But it felt like admitting that was the biggest mistake she could ever make.

"He's one deck down, hatch 1211."

By the time Kara turned to thank him, Helo was gone.

---- ----

Lee could not get her to stop crying. Ever since Helo had gone, ever since she had awoken with tears, Aurora had just kept at it. Lee had tried walking with her, lying down with her, rubbing her tummy, rubbing her back. Frak, he even tried singing and the Gods know that wasn't a good idea.

But nothing worked … and he knew why.

She needed her mother.

"Come on, baby girl," he whispered, pacing the length of his small quarters for what felt like the thousandth time. "You gotta cut your dad some slack here. I'm new at this."

Aurora just roared louder and the sound pained him, physically pained him. Lee could feel it in his gut, in his heart. It almost brought tears to his own eyes.

Pulling back slightly, he regarded her, eyes scrunched up, cheeks shiny with tears and red with exertion. He was worried she might cry herself hoarse. She just wouldn't stop.

"Please, Aurora, please stop crying." Lee buried his nose in her hair and rocked her, swaying his hips in a way he never thought he would. "Please. I miss her too."

"What did you do to her?"

Lee's head snapped up at the unexpected sound of Kara's voice. So consumed with Aurora, he hadn't heard her enter, but now that he saw her he felt such a flood of relief and gratitude and love, it almost brought him to his knees.

"Kara. What are you … what are you doing here?"

"Coming to get my kid," she told him hotly, crossing the room and sweeping Aurora from his arms in a matter of seconds.

As soon as Aurora was settled against her mother's chest, she calmed down, just a few small whimpers escaping and while Lee felt relief, he was also jealous. Why should it be that only Kara held that kind of sway?

"It's okay, baby," she murmured, rocking Aurora back and forth, turning away from Lee while she rubbed her back and tried to soothe her. "You're okay. Mommy's here."

Lee watched them, two blonde heads tented together, and knew he'd been wrong. Regardless of what hell Kara was going through, he couldn't separate her from their daughter. It wasn't right and he should have listened to his conscience when it had told him that the night before.

"I'm sorry, Kara."

She stiffened, but didn't turn. Lee was slightly heartened by the fact that she hadn't left yet either. It seemed to be a good sign. At the very least, he was going to take it as one. "Sorry for what?"

"For taking her away. It was stupid." He risked her reaction, approaching her slowly, standing merely a hands-breath from her back. "I just didn't know how else to get through to you."

She was silent for a long moment and Lee thought that maybe he had reached her. And then, the spell was broken and she whirled on him, anger flashing through her eyes. "News flash, Apollo. Ultimatums and I don't get along."

He was about to fire back a retort of his own, when he caught sight of her starting to list. Her face grew three shades too pale and he realized she was going to faint. Acting on honed instinct, Lee wrapped her up in his arms, steadying her and pulling her tight all in one fell swoop.

Kara offered no resistance, leaning heavily against him, Aurora cradled in the space between their chests. In this new position, the baby actually let out a small coo of content and Lee's heart nearly broke again. It seemed she wanted them to be together almost as much as he did.

"Sorry. I, uh … I guess the walk from Life Station wasn't the best idea."

Her voice held none of the anger it had only moments before. Instead, she sounded tired, exhausted actually and Lee refused to let her go.

"You wanna lay down for a bit?"

He thought she might have tried to flash him an annoyed look, but he was pretty sure even that was beyond her energy level at the moment. "I think I might have to," she said instead and let him lead her over to the bed. He hovered as she reclined, still holding Aurora tightly. He knew his daughter needed to eat, sooner rather than later, but he wanted a little more color to come back to Kara's cheeks before he even thought of making the suggestion.

"Better?" he asked, staring intently at Kara's face as her eyes, now closed, rested beneath heavy lids.

"Yeah," she said with a sigh. Taking a deep breath, she opened her eyes to him and for a second he saw warmth in her gaze. It was gone just as quickly and she diverted her attention to Aurora. "She's gotta be hungry."

"I gave her some formula a few hours ago, but she doesn't like it very much."

Kara nodded, attempting to sit up. Lee knew it was all but impossible with a baby in her arms. He reached forward to take her and stopped when Kara glared. "May I?" he asked finally, noting the way her eyes softened a bit.

She nodded again and Lee took Aurora, glad she didn't start crying. Kara sat up fully against the head of the bed and began to pull one arm out of the strap of her tanks. Halfway there, she froze and Lee saw the fear and frustration flash through her eyes. He knew he shouldn't make her ask and he wasn't going to.

Instead, he rose, pulling the crib over close to the edge of the bed and placing Aurora down. "Why don't you feed her and I'll go get us some food from the mess?"

She eyed him suspiciously, and Lee could barely breathe waiting for her answer. Glancing between him and their daughter, she finally gave him a slight nod. "Fine, but I'll eat what I want to eat and if I don't clean my plate you are not going to throw a fit."

Lee raised his hands in a gesture of mock-defeat. "Okay, okay. Message received." As he backed toward the hatch, he couldn't take his eyes off her. What's more, he couldn't believe she was actually in his quarters of her own free will … well, kind of.

Spinning the hatch handle, he pulled it open and then turned back. "I'll be back in maybe, fifteen minutes."

"Okay."

She barely acknowledged him as she leaned over the crib and made soft noises to Aurora. Lee could just make out his daughter's balled fists and feet kicking up over the edge of the crib. With a smile on his face that he wouldn't have thought possible four hours ago, he closed the door and headed for the mess.

---- ----

Kara knew the smart thing to do was to leave. She knew that staying here, in Lee's room, was an invitation for him to assume a bunch of things that she hadn't begun to sort through.

But, at this moment, she actually didn't want to go. As scary as the prospect was of facing Lee when he returned, of trying to make conversation and pretend everything was all right, she just didn't want to leave.

So, she picked up her daughter and situated her for her feeding and allowed herself a moment to relax.

---- ----

Lee had been debating with himself in his five-minute walk back from the mess whether Kara would still be there. At one step he thought yes, the next no, until a litany of yes-no marched in his head in time with his feet.

He didn't want to get his hopes up only to be disappointed. Of course, he didn't want to doubt Kara so spectacularly either. One of them was going to have to start trusting the other in order for this to work and if he needed to take the first step, so be it.

Reaching his hatch, he paused, balancing both plates of food on one hand. He took one deep breath and then another, before opening the hatch and stepping through.

And almost dropping the food to the deck.

Kara hadn't left. She was still there, across the room, lying on his bed, with their daughter tucked up to her breast.

And she was asleep.

He hadn't seen her look this peaceful in quite a while and the sight washed away the hurt and anger of just a day ago. They could do this, they were _going_ to do this. Lee knew it now. He just had to keep reminding Kara.

Unwilling to wake her despite the fact that she needed to eat, Lee set down the food and then crossed to the bed. Sitting gingerly on the edge, he leaned forward and brushed a strand of Kara's hair off her forehead. She didn't stir and neither did Aurora who it appeared was also asleep.

Lee found a clean burping cloth and draped it over Kara's exposed breast to provide her some modesty and then leaned forward to press a kiss to her forehead. "I love you, Kara," he breathed against her skin, smiling slightly as she gave a soft moan in her sleep that he had always associated with contentment.

Then, with their food growing cold across the room, Lee pulled a chair up beside the bunk and watched Kara sleep.

---- ----


	15. Chapter 15

Title: **Captive**, Chapter 15

Pairing: Lee/Kara

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: It's not mine, not at all, not even a little.

Summary: Kara and Lee have reached an uneasy truce. Is it enough?

A/N: Sorry folks for the delay in getting this chapter posted. I had a hard time deciding precisely where I wanted it to go and then RL and the ep reviews I'm writing sucked up most of my time.

This will probably be the last chapter with a small epilogue. I'm really grateful for everyone's support and reviews throughout. Thanks so much for reading!

~TamSibling~

---- ----

Despite Lee's desire to stay by Kara's side every minute of every day—or at least until she got sick of him and ordered him from her sight for a few hours—his father had other plans. Galactica needed a CAG and while Kat had done an admirable job before the exodus, she was bending under the added weight of integrating the survivors from the planet and the Pegasus. They needed a stronger leader and since Kara was down for the count, that left Lee.

Since her first night out of Life Station, Kara and Aurora had been staying with him. He took the couch, bunking there despite the discomfort it caused his back. It meant the world to him that he could be close to them and he didn't care what he had to sacrifice to get it.

Kara had awoken a few times over the past weeks in the grip of some awful nightmare. By the time Lee awoke and tried to comfort her, she had already reached for Aurora, holding the baby tightly to her chest and rocking her gently. Lee's attempts to speak to her, to find out what the frak was going on were silently rebuked. He normally sat with her until she fell back asleep, but she never offered him any answers, never let him so much as hold her hand. And it was starting to grate on him.

He dressed as silently as he could for CAP, mindful of the fact that Kara had awoken three times the night before, twice from nightmares and once to feed Aurora. He knew she had to be exhausted, but with her usual stoicism, she simply soldiered on, pretending nothing was wrong; pretending she was fine. Lee was letting it slide for now, only because he knew Kara couldn't keep up this act indefinitely. He knew, because she'd tried in the past—after Zak, after the end of the worlds, after Caprica—and each time, she had eventually broken, at least a little. And it had been enough for Lee to reach her, to get past those damn walls she was so good at hiding behind and help her.

As much as he knew the experience pained her, Lee was selfishly waiting for Kara to be weak again.

She moaned softly in her sleep and Lee tensed, glancing to the bed, waiting for her to cry out with fear. When she didn't, he released a silent breath and crossed the room to press a kiss to Aurora's forehead. After just a second of hesitation, he pressed one to Kara's as well, grateful when she didn't wake up.

"I love you, Kara," he whispered, stroking a finger down her cheek, and then forcing himself down to the hangar deck to do his job.

---- ----

Lee returned to quarters spent from a day in the air and negotiating a few tense situations among his pilots. Emotions were still running high from the exodus and he'd had to break up more than a few fights between members of his squadron over everything from name-calling to actual physical altercations.

He tried to push all that tension from his face and his body before entering the room. He didn't want Kara shouldering any more burden than her own. She had enough to deal with.

"Hey," he said softly as he entered and caught sight of Kara setting the table, Aurora already in her high chair.

"Hey." Kara was looking better. Lee had noticed the improvement in her coloring and her strength. The doc had started her on some physical therapy and although she'd only been at it for a few days, he could already see some of the muscle definition returning to her arms.

Kara gave him a wide berth of course, doing her best to avoid any physical contact. So, Lee leaned forward and kissed his daughter as she clapped her hands at his appearance. "Hi, baby girl. How are you?"

She gurgled at him and Lee smiled. She was amazing, the brightest spot in his whole life and he couldn't even began to calculate how blessed he was. Unable to help himself, he lifted her from her chair and swung her in the air. She giggled and cooed as Lee announced, "Viper five-six-zero, coming in for a landing. Clear the flight deck."

With a whoosh, he "flew" Aurora around the room and over to her mother, who held out her arms and Lee plopped her there. He was delighted to find the slightest smile on Kara's face and he returned it, holding her gaze for a moment over Aurora's blonde head.

He was certain Kara was going to say something and then in a second the moment passed and she hurried back toward the table, depositing the baby back in her high chair. "I'll go grab some food from the mess," she told him quickly and Lee sighed as he watched her leave, pretending once again that everything was fine.

---- ----

She wanted to talk to him. Kara wasn't sure where the desire came from, but it had been growing deep in her gut over the past week. It was like a living thing now, hot and demanding and she found words clawing their way up her throat any time he was near. Gods, she almost let something slip when he'd played that stupid game with Aurora.

It wasn't stupid. Kara chewed her algae slowly, keeping her eyes on her plate, even as she felt Lee's gaze fixed firmly on the top of her head. No, Lee wasn't being stupid, he was being a good father, a great father, actually. The adoration he felt for Aurora was undeniable, Kara saw it every time he looked at her. Of course, she could also see the love Lee had for her whenever their eyes met and it was one of the main reasons she avoided his gaze at all costs.

It was hard to figure things out when every night she dreamt of Leoben. Well, they were nightmares, really. No rainbows or puppies or happy endings. Nope. Either she dreamed of Leoben raping her or of the Cylon snapping Aurora's neck or of him killing Lee right before her eyes.

In every instance, Leoben won and Kara woke covered in sweat, panting and unable to sleep for the rest of the night. It was finally starting to take its toll. The doc was slowly weaning her off the pain meds and she figured some of the dream's vividness had to do with withdrawal. But it didn't make it any easier.

By the time dinner was finished, Kara had placed her head on her arms and found herself falling asleep.

"Kara?"

She jerked awake suddenly and sat up like a shot, blinking to gain her bearings. Recognizing her quarters, she turned to find Lee at her shoulder, Aurora in his arms. "What?"

"You were sleeping. Are you feeling all right?"

She shook her head and rose, stretching her arms and trying to wake up. But it was no use, she felt fatigue like a physical weight, dragging down each limb. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just haven't been sleeping much."

She turned back to face him and caught one of his famous frowns. The one that said, "I don't believe a word you just said, but I won't press the point." She was on the receiving end of that one a lot.

"Why don't you get some sleep?" He circled the table and took a few steps toward her, before stopping when he realized he might be getting too close.

It was her turn to frown. "I can't. Not until this little one goes to sleep and that won't be for a couple hours yet."

"Kara, I can watch her until she falls asleep."

Kara chewed her bottom lip, her eyes darting guiltily to her bed. Gods, she really wanted to sleep. Her insomnia, coupled with the extra physical therapy sessions left her exhausted. She was dying for a few uninterrupted hours. But she was worried she might dream again and she just couldn't handle having another of those nightmares.

"Kara?"

She snapped her eyes back to Lee's and found more compassion shining there. It proved to be her undoing. "I've been having nightmares," she murmured, eyes quickly falling to the decking. She felt her cheeks burn; how could she have just admitted that?

"Bad ones?"

She nodded, unwilling to trust her voice. A huge lump had found its way into her throat and she was fairly certain a desperate sob would escape if she tried to speak.

A burst of Aurora's babble broke the tension and Kara stepped forward. Lee offered the baby to her, but Kara shook her head and simply rubbed the little girl's back. As her daughter's head fell to Lee's shoulder, her eyes regarding Kara intently, she finally lifted her gaze back to Lee's blue eyes and sighed. "I'm afraid to sleep."

If Lee was shocked by her admission, he didn't show it. Instead, he nodded and then slowly, carefully reached for her hand. It was the most physical contact they'd had since she'd left Life Station. Slowly, he guided her to the bed, and once she sat down, he pulled the covers up and around her, clicking off the light above the sleeping alcove.

"I'll stay over here with Aurora while you get some sleep, okay?" She nodded, but was still hesitant to close her eyes. She'd just see Leoben again, see that thin smile on his face or the empty crib where her baby should be. She shuddered at the thought.

With a small frown, Lee studied her for a moment more and then crossed the room, placing Aurora in her playpen where the little girl had a few handcrafted toys to play with. Once she was settled, Lee returned to Kara's side and after a moment's hesitation, sat beside her. He took her hand, surprised and grateful when she didn't pull away.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She shook her head and he sighed. "Okay, then. Just know that I'm here. You're safe on Galactica. I promise."

She knew that, she really did. But it seemed her unconscious mind could not accept it. They held each other's gazes for a long moment until finally Lee reached up and brushed a stray strand of hair off her cheek. Kara saw the movement coming, but didn't flinch. Instead, she reveled in the show of intimacy, reveled in the fact that she could distinguish Leoben's possessive touch with Lee's loving one.

Her eyelids grew inexplicably heavy. She fought to keep them open, but it was a losing battle and soon, she was drifting, Lee's hand around hers, her only anchor.

"Just sleep, Kara. I'm here."

She thought she nodded or offered some form of verbal acknowledgment, but she wasn't sure.

---- ----

Lee watched Kara closely over the next hour. As he played with Aurora, he kept an eye trained in her direction. She slept fitfully, if not peacefully, tossing and turning occasionally, but never crying out. There was one moment when he feared she might fall out of the bed. She was thrashing about, kicking at the sheets and waving her arms, but within a minute or so, she was calm again and Lee released a sigh.

Aurora was pretty much down for the count within ninety minutes. Lee walked her around the close quarters, rocking her a bit, reveling in this time he got to spend with her. He rarely had the opportunity to put her to bed and he found the sight of her sleepy eyes and big yawns tugged at his heart. As she rested her head to his shoulder and then began to breathe evenly, Lee risked placing her in the crib, gently rubbing her back as she fidgeted for a moment and then settled down.

He stood gazing at her, watching her sleep and then turned toward Kara. She still wasn't sleeping peacefully, but the fact that she was asleep eased his mind a bit. Resisting the overwhelming urge to crawl into bed beside her and hold her close, Lee took his usual position on the small couch, and soon, he was sleeping too.

---- ----

_He was always smiling in her nightmares. That patient, condescending grin she despised was always on his lips and Kara shuddered as he approached her. She couldn't fathom how she had again wound up here, on New Caprica, in this sham of a home with _him_. _

_She shouldn't be here. She should be with Lee and her daughter. Aurora. Where was she? Kara's eyes darted to either side and she saw the crib. She pushed away from the wall at her back and stumbled over to the bassinet, peering inside to find it empty. No, not again._

"_Where is she?" she spat, whirling to face her tormentor. "What did you do with her?"_

"_She's not here, Kara. It's just you and me." He advanced on her once more and Kara shoved the crib between them. She lunged for the stairs, doing her best to get out of this hell. If Aurora was gone, all bets were off. She'd die before he touched her again._

"_Kara!"_

_The sound of Lee's urgent voice spurred her forward and she reached the door, pounding on it as she heard Lee shouting from the other side._

"_Lee! Help me, please!"_

"_Kara! I can't get to you!"_

"_Lee!" _

_No, this couldn't happen. She couldn't be so close to Lee and have it taken away. She pounded on the door, threw her weight against it, but it was no use. When she turned, panting, looking for something that might help to pry it open, Leoben was upon her. He seized her shoulders hard, his grip punishing on her skin._

"_You said you loved me, Kara," he hissed in her face. "I know you meant it. You wouldn't have said it if you didn't mean it."_

"_I didn't," she murmured, doing her best to get away from him, but unable to counteract his strong grip. "I didn't. I don't love you. I hate you!"_

"_You're lying, Kara." He tipped his face close to hers and Kara could feel his breath against her lips. "You love me. You said it yourself."_

_He kissed her then, lips hard and dry. His touch was unyielding and despite her struggle, she could not separate herself from him. As he finally released her, Kara heaved a heavy breath, doing her best not to retch, even as Leoben's dry hands stroked her face._

_She turned slightly, looking for Lee, praying he had found a way in, but as she looked to the door, she saw his gaze turn from loving to disgusted. With blue eyes fixated on her, he hissed, "How could you?"_

"_I had to, Lee. I'm sorry. It's not true. I don't love him."_

"_Yes, you do, Kara," Leoben intoned, his voice so certain. "Why else would you say it?"_

_Ignoring him, Kara kept her focus on Lee. "Please, Lee." She reached for him, but he stepped back, their baby daughter now inexplicably in his arms. "Lee, I had to."_

"_Whore." He spoke the word softly, but it cut Kara deeper than any blade. "Stay away from me and my child."_

"_No. Lee!" She tried to go after him, tried to make him understand, but he was gone, Aurora was gone and she was alone … with Leoben._

"_Now, we can be together, Kara." His hands were possessive and hard and all over her body and Kara shuddered._

"_Lee!" She tried one last time. "Come back, please." She felt tears fall down her face and sank against the machine at her back, unable to support herself for a second longer. "I need you," she murmured, before the black darkness of unconsciousness consumed her._

---- ----

When Lee blinked his eyes open, he had no idea what had awakened him. Listening hard, he waited for the noise to come again, and when it did, it was no more than a whimper. Lee unfolded himself from the sofa and padded over to Aurora's crib. Gazing in at her, he looked for signs of distress and then realized the noise wasn't coming from his daughter.

It was coming from Kara.

Turning, he peered at her sleeping form, and noticed that she was still tossing and turning, but now she was crying out too. He crossed to her quickly and hesitated at the edge of the bed, uncertain how to proceed; he didn't want to do anything that might aggravate her further.

"Please, Lee."

Her pained whisper nearly broke him and Lee no longer cared what was or was not a good idea. As she cried out, "Come back," he sat beside her, one hand stroking her face, surprised to find tears coating his palm as he pulled it back. He could only imagine what nightmare images were flashing through her brain to cause such a reaction.

"Kara." He said her name urgently, trying to stymie the panic welling in his gut. "Kara, wake up. You're dreaming."

She didn't still at his words or his touch. Lying down beside her, Lee wrapped one of his arms around her torso. The wilder her movements became the more he feared she'd injure herself. "Kara, it's okay. Wake up."

"Lee!"

He nuzzled his face into her hair, breathing deeply before he trusted himself to speak. Placing his lips at her ear, he told her, "I'm right here, Kara. It's Lee. I'm not leaving you."

"I need you," she breathed softly, and Lee felt his whole world implode. He had wanted to hear those words from Kara for what felt like forever. But he had never wanted to see her in so much pain.

Her body stiffened immediately as she came awake and Lee relaxed his hold, but did not release her. He didn't want her to think for even a second that he was rejecting her.

"Kara?" he asked tentatively, lifting his head so he could see her eyes.

Wide and frantic, they searched the ceiling above and it took her several deep breaths before she could turn to face him. When she did, the pain and uncertainty in her gaze was enough to bring him to his knees.

"Lee?" she choked out, eyes searching his face intently.

He nodded. "Yeah, Kara. It's me. I'm right here, okay?"

She nodded in return, staring at him for a moment more, before she turned onto her back and fixed her gaze on the ceiling. Lee watched her profile wishing he knew what to do. All he wanted was to help her and it seemed even that task was too much for him.

They stayed like that, silent and close for a handful of minutes, before Lee asked softly, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Kara shook her head and then rose abruptly, all but climbing over him to get off the bed. "No," she muttered as she closed the hatch to the bathroom, leaving Lee to stare at it, dumbfounded.

A small whimper from Aurora brought him back to the moment and he crossed to her crib. Lifting her out easily, he shushed her, holding her close. He paced the small space, risking furtive glances to the still closed bathroom door. When he heard the shower go on, he sighed and circled back toward Rory's crib.

Placing her down, Lee sat heavily on the couch, trying to mull over just what he should do next. A variety of ideas flashed through his mind, but none of them seemed right and it took Lee a ridiculous number of minutes to realize that Kara had been in the bathroom way too long. Sitting up quickly, he eyed his watch, guessing she'd been in there for over a half an hour.

Trying to convince himself she was just enjoying a long shower, Lee went to the door and knocked softly. "Kara?"

No answer was forthcoming and a bit of his panic spilled into his throat. "Kara? Are you okay?"

Still no answer. Taking a deep breath, he tried the handle, unbelievably relieved when he realized it was open. Praying this was a good idea he entered the room and stared at the sight before him.

Kara was sitting on the floor of the shower stall, water falling in a steady stream on her body as she stared at nothing. A river of blood flowed from her left wrist, causing a pink puddle to form around her before it was lost down the drain. A pair of small scissors, the tips colored red, sat beside her.

Lee dropped to his knees, wetting his pants and not caring. As he turned off the water, he reached for a towel and wrapped Kara in it. She was shivering as he pulled her wet body toward him. He was careful of her wrist, using a washcloth to stop the blood flow.

"Kara, what did you do?"

"You'll take care of Aurora. Right, Lee?" Her eyes were vacant, her expression empty, her voice hollow as she said, "She's safe now. You'll take care of her."

"Kara, _we_ are going to care of her. You are not leaving me." He didn't know how he'd survive it. Losing Kara again was not an option. Satisfied that her wrist had stopped bleeding, Lee rose with Kara in his arms and carried her to her bunk. He laid her down, watching heartbroken as she rolled onto her side away from him. Reaching for another set of sweats and tanks, he handed them to her. "Put these on."

She shook her head and refused to look at him. Suddenly, an anger he had thought long buried rose within him and Lee stalked back to her side. Tugging on her shoulder, he rolled her over and held her shoulders tight, forcing her to look at him.

"Damn it, Kara! Don't do this! I am not going to let you give up. Do you hear me, Thrace?"

"Let me go, Lee." Her voice was low and deadly, but Lee did not heed her.

"No, not until you tell me what the hell is going through that head of yours. Not until you tell me how you could even consider leaving Aurora without a mother."

Her face paled for a second, but she regained her icy demeanor quickly. "I don't have to tell you anything," she spat, more Starbuck fire in her gaze.

"Yes, you do. I am not going to wring your ass out every time you have a bad day." Leaning closer, their noses were almost touching as he added, "So you tell me why you're suicidal. Tell me!"

She flinched at his words, but Lee held on. Her arms were going to show bruises in the morning, but he didn't care.

She held his gaze, chest heaving, and Lee thought he had finally reached her. But then she wrenched away, pulling on her tanks and sweats in record time. Before Lee could even register what she was doing, she'd crossed to Rory's crib and had hefted their daughter into her arms.

She was at the hatch by the time his feet unglued themselves from the floor and he crossed to her fast, an iron grip on the handle making it impossible for Kara to open.

"Get out of my way, Lee."

"No." He wasn't letting her do this.

"I'm leaving, Lee. There's nothing you can do about it."

"No?" He turned her to face him, careful of Aurora who was thankfully still asleep in her mother's arms. "Like hell there isn't. You're staying here and we're figuring this out."

She shrugged away from him, retreating a few steps into the room and Lee crossed his arms, standing right before the door. With daggers in her eyes, she told him, "You're just as bad as Leoben."

Lee's blood boiled, but he used every bit of self-restraint to keep his anger in check. "I'm nothing like that frakker, and you know it. I love you."

"That was his reasoning, too," she admitted softly, her voice low and deadly.

Lee stopped, his next retort frozen on his lips as he tried to process her words. Taking a hesitant step forward, he asked, "Kara. What are you talking about?"

She turned away from him, and Lee was thankful when she deposited Aurora back in her crib. Rubbing her daughter's back gently, she stayed turned away from him as she said quietly, "He thought that eventually, I'd stay with him because I wanted to. Because I—"

She stopped. Lee could see the stiffness in her spine and there was no missing the full-body shudder that wracked her frame. Leaning heavily on the side of Aurora's crib, she took several deep breaths.

Lee took another step closer and then stopped, uncertain what exactly this was all leading up to. There was a sick feeling growing in the pit of his stomach, but he had no idea how justified it was. He couldn't jump to conclusions, not now. "Kara."

"I had to do it, Lee," she admitted in a rush, her voice barely more than a whisper. "He was threatening Aurora and you. I couldn't—I couldn't let him hurt you."

Those intense minutes on the surface, when he'd found her in that apartment, suddenly took form in his mind and Lee again wondered what had transpired between Kara ordering him out of the room and the sound of the gunshot. "Do what, Kara? What happened?"

Kara slowly backed away from Rory's crib and headed for the bed, sinking onto its edge with a heavy sigh. She stared at nothing as she said, "He wasn't going to let me go. I knew that. I thought maybe I could get the upper hand, but …"

She sighed again and Lee moved closer, standing only a few steps from her. But he didn't do or say anything else. If Kara was going to admit this, she'd do it in her own time.

"I had to get close to him. It was the only way to get the upper hand, to get the gun." Her voice was devoid of emotion now, there wasn't even sadness in her tone. There was … nothing. "I had to give him what he wanted."

Lee swallowed hard, his heart pounding so loudly he feared it'd come right through his rib cage. "Kara, what happened? What did he want?"

With hollow eyes, she finally looked at him. "He wanted me to love him. So I told him I did. And then I kissed him.

"And then, I shot him."

Silence reigned between them. Lee could barely process all she had just admitted. His rage at Leoben quickly dissipated as he realized he had no recourse. There was nothing he could do to that frakker now. All he could do was try and reach Kara. She was obviously punishing herself for what she perceived as weakness. And now the past months made sense: her discomfort when he proclaimed his love for her; her hesitancy to be physically close; her nightmares.

He knew he had to say something first. Kara had given him what he wanted, an explanation, and it was his turn to speak.

"Kara." He cleared his throat and then crossed the rest of the way to her, kneeling at her feet, but keeping his hands to himself. "They're just words," he said softly.

She snorted derisively and rolled her eyes. "You don't believe that. I can see how hurt you are every time you say it and I don't."

Lee knew that was true. But he'd been working with less than complete information. "It doesn't matter."

"Lee, I don't …" She rose abruptly, and Lee rocked back on his heels, watching as she paced an agitated path around the room. "Gods, I hate this.

"I don't know if I'll ever be able to tell you that," she admitted in a rush, stopping to face him, even though her eyes were on the decking. Taking a deep breath, she raised her gaze to his and Lee almost cried at the pure despair in her eyes. "But that doesn't mean I don't feel it."

He couldn't help himself. Lee crossed the room swiftly and crushed Kara to him, his arms tight around her. She stiffened for a second and then slowly relaxed against him, her arms hesitantly returning his embrace. Lee loosened his grip, knowing he could not press his luck, but now that he was holding her again, he wasn't letting her go. "I know that, Kara," he whispered against her temple. "I know."

"Do you?"

He could hear the uncertainty in her voice and it broke his heart. "I'm starting to." He leaned back slightly to get a good look at her face, not surprised to see her eyes bright with tears. Offering her a small grin, he added, "You've always been an action kinda girl anyway."

She returned his smile slightly, but just as quickly, her features were schooled again. She tried to back away, but Lee kept his arms locked around her waist and she gave up the struggle pretty quickly. Instead, she just stared at her toes and murmured, "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For giving into him."

He shook his head swiftly, placing his fingers under her chin and tilting her face up to his. "Kara, it got you out," Lee told her firmly. "You could have promised him Galactica and I wouldn't care as long as it kept you safe."

She studied him intently, her eyes darting back and forth as she took in his gaze, his features. Hesitantly, she lifted a hand to his face and rested her fingers against his cheek. Again her eyes glimmered with tears and Lee swallowed hard as she said quietly, "I wish I … I wish I could say it—for you."

Shaking his head, Lee told her, "You don't have to, Kara. I understand now." With a faint smile on his lips, he added, "I can see it anyway. You don't have to say it."

That adorable little crease between her eyebrows appeared and Lee wanted to kiss it. He fought the urge as he saw her expression grow serious. "How? How can you see it?"

Lee smiled wide and then shifted his hold on her, guiding her back to the edge of the bunk. As they sat side by side, he told her, "When I catch you staring, you give me this look, like you're pretending you weren't, I see it then. When you care for Aurora. When you asked me to stay with you in Life Station." He realized the list could go on and on, but the examples weren't important—not really. "Kara, I thought the words mattered, but you're right, they can be empty."

Turning to face her, he cupped her cheeks in his hands and held her gaze intently, staring into her clouded hazel eyes. "But I want you to know that when I tell you I love you, I mean it, Kara. Please believe that."

"I do."

---- ----

Kara did believe Lee. Lee never said anything he didn't mean. Whereas Kara would run her mouth at the drop of a hat, Lee was always careful and controlled with any statement he might make. She knew she could always trust his words.

"I …" She still couldn't imagine the words passing through her lips. But the fact that it didn't seem to matter to Lee lifted a great weight from her chest. "I wish I—"

She couldn't finish the statement, because Lee leaned forward and captured her lips with his hungrily and Kara responded. She could show him, she could explain with her body what her heart was feeling. If her actions were going to be Lee's barometer regarding her feelings than she needed to be more careful.

But he was still kissing her and Kara wasn't about to let this moment pass. Wrapping her hands in the front of his tanks, she pulled him closer, lying back on the bed so he was stretched out on top of her, warm, hard muscles pressing her back into the mattress. She found the bottom of his tanks and lifted, trying to work them off without breaking their kiss.

However, before she could even get them halfway up, Lee stopped, pulling back and panting against her cheek, his eyes dilated with passion.

"Kara, you don't have to do this to convince me. I know how you feel."

She shook her head slightly. "I want this, Lee. I want us to be connected."

He reached for her hand and pressed a kiss into her palm, before resting it against his chest. "We are, Kara. You know that, right?"

She nodded, eyes searching his before she admitted, "I don't know how else to tell you if I can't show you."

He sighed and Kara felt a spike of panic, fearing she'd again done something wrong. Instead, Lee sat back and gently tugged on the hand he held, pulling her up into a sitting position before him. "Kara, sex has never been our problem."

She knew that was true.

"It's trust."

Kara's heart pounded at just the sound of the word. "I know," she admitted quietly, unable to look into his eyes and see his disappointment.

"Kara." He wouldn't continue until she brought her eyes back to his and she was relieved to see compassion there instead of judgment. "For a long time, the only thing I've ever trusted has been words; facts, absolutes. I thought the only way I could trust you was if you told me you loved me."

Kara swallowed hard. She'd never be able to tell him now. What if he did need the words?

"But then you said it and you ran away."

Kara bowed her head, cheeks flushing brightly at the memory.

"And then, the next day when I confronted you, you wouldn't say it again, but I could see it, Kara. I could see it in every line of your body. But I didn't trust my own eyes, so I walked away."

"And I let you," she added softly, eyes closing against the memory. Kara knew watching Lee leave that morning was by far one of the most painful experiences of her life.

"Gods, I am such a frak-up," she murmured. Unable to sit still, Kara rose abruptly and began to pace again. "I mean, really? Marrying someone else. My Gods, Lee, I'm lucky you ever spoke to me again."

"I love you." He said it simply and Kara flinched slightly before forcing herself to take a deep breath.

"I …" But she still couldn't say it. "Me too," she finally admitted lamely.

Lee actually chuckled before rising and crossing to her. Wrapping his arms around her, he murmured, "That's good enough for me."

Kara sighed heavily against him, but she couldn't let it go, couldn't relax when being with Lee, loving Lee was so important. "Is it, Lee?" she finally asked in a whisper.

She felt him tense in her arms and she tilted her head back to meet his eyes. "Is it enough?" Hating the fear in her voice, she forced out, "Am I? Enough?"

Lee didn't answer her, he simply kissed her—passionately—claiming her mouth. She felt his need to drive away her doubts in the tender way he held her, arms supporting her back and shoulders, keeping her safely cocooned against him. He rarely held her like this, so much of their short sex life had been about possession and passion and frakking. This wasn't that; this was love and commitment and warmth. Kara felt lightheaded at the depth of emotion simply flowing between them. She felt overwhelmed at the thought that Lee could express all of this through his touch.

Maybe it would be enough, if it was all she ever had to give.

She kissed him back, driving coherent thought from her mind. She didn't want to think right now, she just wanted to feel. And it wasn't because she thought she had to prove something to Lee—it was because she wanted to be with him.

Kara had no idea how long they kissed. It felt like an eternity. Finally, forced to break away for air, Kara rested her cheek to Lee's and just let him hold her. He was solid and steady and she couldn't believe she had forgotten that; couldn't believe she had pulled away when all she had needed to do was hold on.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

Pulling back slightly, she gave him a saucy smirk, glad when it brought a twinkle to his already sparkling blue eyes. "Didn't that feel okay?"

He grinned even wider. "Better than." Bringing his hands up to cup her face, he said softly, "But less than an hour ago I found you in the shower bleeding."

To prove his point, Lee reached down and lifted her abused arm, turning her wrist slightly so she could see it. "You can't do this, Kara. You know that, right?"

She nodded, swallowing hard as the memory of pressing the razor into her skin came back. She hadn't even felt it. "I thought I …" She took a deep breath and then forced her eyes to his. "I didn't think you would understand."

"Kara." With a heavy sigh, Lee pulled back and gently led her toward the bunk. Sitting her down, he sat next to her and Kara felt trepidation nearly choking her. She couldn't handle his rejection. She had hoped her confession would have brought them past this. "I need to—"

"No, Lee, wait." Forcing herself to take a deep, calming breath, Kara turned to face him, reaching for his hands. He surrendered them easily and met her gaze. "Cutting myself was stupid, I'm not going to pretend it wasn't. And even though I want to tell you I won't do it again, that's not a promise I can make right now."

Lee looked like he might interrupt, but Kara shook her head slightly and he kept his silence. "I can't even … I don't know how to explain how being Leoben's captive has frakked with my head. I don't want to leave you or Aurora, but I just thought … I thought that if I couldn't …"

She still couldn't get the words out. She didn't know how to explain the pure despair she had felt after that dream. How she woke up most nights sweating and frightened and didn't know how to make it stop.

"Hey, Kara." Lee's voice sounded distant and Kara struggled to focus on him, struggled to bring him back to the forefront of her mind; struggled to once again banish Leoben. "Kara, I'm here. Whatever you need, I'm here, okay?"

"I need you." The words were out before she could even register them and Kara felt heart-stopping fear and overwhelming relief at the admission. Swallowing hard, she said again, "I need you, Lee."

He stared at her for a handful of seconds and then pulled her into him, his arms wrapping around her tightly. She held on just as fiercely, fighting back tears. Gods, could it really be this simple?

"You have me, Kara." Lee's whispered words broke the dam against her emotions and Kara clutched his shoulders as she started to cry.

---- ----


	16. Epilogue

Title: **Captive**, Epilogue

Pairing: Kara/Lee

Rating: PG-13

Summary: It's Aurora's first birthday. How will the new Adama/Thrace family celebrate?

Disclaimer: It's not mine. I've written letter after letter, but it's still not mine.

A/N: First off, I want to thank everyone who has faithfully followed this story and faithfully commented. It means a lot to me that you all have stuck with me through the random updates and the many trials I have put our pilots through.

Secondly, this is the first story I've ever posted while in progress and I can assure you, I WON'T be doing that again! It's waaaaaay too stressful.

Thirdly, I don't know what's next for Lee and Kara as far as my writing goes. I am in the final "crunch" phase of my thesis and am getting ready to shop my book around to agents. So, I might have a few more RL distractions in the coming months. If a story idea strikes me, I'll probably end up writing it, but at the moment, I don't have anything planned.

Again, thanks to everyone! I love this fandom and I adore writing fic for these two crazy kids.

~TamSibling~

---- ----

6 Months Later

---- ----

Kara sat and stared at her daughter. Her one-year-old, babbling, beautiful daughter. Kara had never thought she'd be here, watching her child pull at her socks, dropping the small pink booties beside her, before she rolled over onto her belly and pushing herself up, manage to crawl toward Kara.

Her bright blue eyes—they had never darkened—looked up to Kara full of happiness. "Mama," she cooed, reaching Kara's knee and pulling herself into a standing position, blonde curls bobbing on her head.

Kara opened her arms to the girl, and scooped her up bringing her close to her chest.

"You're one year old today, little one," she whispered, watching with amusement as Aurora clapped her chubby hands at this pronouncement. Kara could swear the kid knew exactly what she was saying all the time. It had definitely caused her to start watching her language. "I can't believe it. You got so big."

"Mama, mama." It was like a chant. Kara couldn't help smiling, remember the first time, just a month ago when she had uttered the word. Aurora had been calling Lee "dada" for weeks, but it seemed Kara wasn't quite up to naming status. The little girl would reach for her and want Kara's attention, but despite their repeated efforts to get her to utter the moniker, she just didn't.

Then, a month ago, while Lee had been out on CAP and Kara had been struggling with a particularly severe Leoben flashback, she had heard Aurora's sweet voice. "Mama." It had snapped Kara's mind fully back to the present, tears in her eyes that sprung from a place of happiness and not despair.

Kara hadn't had another flashback since.

Until today. It was hard to celebrate this day, Aurora's birthday, and not remember the frakked up circumstances surrounding her birth. She couldn't help but remember Leoben and his sick smiles or the one time she had awoken to find her daughter missing.

The fear of the memory caused Kara to squeeze Aurora a bit too hard and the little girl cried out. With a hand pushed to Kara's face and a pout on her lips, she told her mother, "No."

Kara laughed. "Oh, yeah, you come by that honestly."

At the sound of Kara's laughter, Aurora joined her and it was with tears in their eyes that Lee found them as he returned from his shift in CIC.

He still cut a fine form in dress blues and Kara gave him a more than appreciative glance as he entered their quarters, crossed to her and pressed a kiss to her forehead and then Aurora's. "What are you two laughing about?" he asked, returning Kara's grin.

"I was just telling Aurora how silly her daddy is," Kara teased, even as her daughter reached for Lee and he scooped her up. "And she was agreeing."

"I'll bet," Lee told her, sticking his tongue out at Kara before turning his attention to his daughter.

Kara rose reluctantly, not really looking forward to the rest of the day's festivities, but she knew it couldn't be helped. She wanted to stay in, just her and Lee and their daughter, but the Old Man had insisted on a family dinner to celebrate his grandchild's birthday and who was Kara to deny him. Besides she knew her reclusive behavior over the past few months had caused some real concern among the crew and her family. Rumors were rampant that Kara had suffered some kind of mental break; that she sat in her quarters day and night babbling incoherently.

They weren't true, of course. The only babbling she endured was Aurora's. But people wanted to talk and so they did. She figured stepping out for a few hours might put some of those rumors to rest. Then at least Lee could stop fielding all the questions and strange looks.

"Hey."

Kara turned toward the sound of his voice, startled to realize she'd been standing in front of her open locker. "What?"

"You okay?" he asked, crossing the space between them, Aurora starting to get sleepy as her afternoon nap was upon them. "You were staring off for a couple of minutes."

Shaking her head as if to clear cobwebs, Kara told him. "Yup, I'm fine. We're still going to your dad's, right?"

"If you want to," Lee told her, his brow still furrowed, implying that he didn't quite believe her. "I can always call and tell him—"

"No, Lee." Kara reached into her locker, grabbing her shower gear and a fresh set of underwear. "I need to get out of this room if only so everyone on the frakkin' ship will stop speculating about how far over the edge I've gone."

"Since when have you cared what anyone thought?" he challenged. She supposed he had a point. Other people's opinions didn't really matter all that much to Starbuck.

But she couldn't stand the thought that Lee could be suffering from her lack of social skills.

"I don't," she told him, heading for their small bathroom. "But I don't want them to think you're with me out of pity or some other—"

"Kara." He was standing at her back before she could even register that he'd moved.

Turning to face him, she had to bite her lip to avoid laughing at the unbelievably adorable expression on his features. "I don't give a damn what anyone thinks about us. I'm with you because I love you."

"Me too," she told him with a grin and quick peck on the lips, before slipping into the bathroom and shutting the hatch.

She leaned against it, taking a shaky breath and then another. It shouldn't still be that hard to hear it, to "not" say it. Kara didn't know why the words caused a cold sweat at random intervals. Leoben had never actually uttered them to her himself. And she believed that Lee loved her completely.

Shaking off the momentarily chill, Kara straightened her shoulders before turning on the tap and starting to undress. It was just today. She'd woken up feeling off and with the flashbacks she'd just felt more off balance. As much as she wanted to celebrate for her daughter's sake, Kara would be beyond relieved when this day was over.

---- ----

"Surprise!"

Lee stood in the doorway, eyes wide, staring at the dozen or so people crammed into his father's quarters. He could feel Kara's tense frame beside him, Aurora in her arms clapping happily at the sight of her favorite people, while he knew her mother was fighting the urge to run.

"You knew about this, didn't you?" Kara hissed in his ear, pasting on a tight grin as Dualla, Helo and Roslin descended upon them, all cooing over the baby. Kara gave her up to Helo easily—the taller man had watched Aurora on many an occasion and Aurora went to him gladly—and then turned to glare at her daughter's father. "Lee Adama—"

"I swear to the Gods, I had no idea," Lee told her softly, taking her hands in his. Studying her closely, he asked, "Are you okay with this?"

He could tell by the quick glance she gave to the decking she wasn't, but he also knew she'd lie. And he was right.

"Of course. This is Aurora's day and it's really nice for your dad to go to all this trouble."

"It wasn't any trouble," the Old Man told them, his voice rumbling through the din in the room. Reaching Lee and Kara, he offered them both small glasses of Ambrosia and then toasted them with his own. "To my granddaughter."

"To Aurora," Lee and Kara murmured in return, before knocking back the green liquid quickly. Looking to his father, Lee told him a hushed tone, "I really wished you'd asked me, dad. We didn't want a fuss."

"What he means is, he's afraid I'm going to go bat-shit crazy and start screaming at everyone," Kara interjected with a saucy smile that Lee was forced to return.

His father simply looked unapologetically between them. "It's just a few people and everyone in this room cares about you, Kara and Aurora." Adama glanced behind him, taking in the sight and Lee's eyes followed his.

It was true; the people in this room were the closest thing to an extended family he and Kara had ever had. Even Tigh was there and despite his gruff exterior, Lee could swear the older man was fighting to smile as Aurora managed to bang her hands on his bald head, from her higher perch at Helo's shoulder.

But Kara had eschewed any kind of scene like this in the months she'd been back. On a few occasions he managed to get her to eat in the mess with him and Aurora, but they always sat at the quietest table, far from the noise and the din, and then always returned directly to quarters after. He knew that being out, exposed, caused her to feel vulnerable and while he wanted to fix it, he didn't know what to do except let Kara dictate the pace. He knew she was trying and that was more than enough for Lee.

Turning to face her, he again held her gaze, swallowing hard. "Do you want to go? We can take Aurora and go home, make our apologies."

Kara's eyes scanned the room, her lower lip worried between her teeth as her gaze fell upon her daughter, beaming and giggling happily across the room. Shaking her head once, she turned back to Lee and he saw true determination on her features. "No. We should stay. This is for Aurora."

Taking her hand, Lee gave it a gentle squeeze and pulled their bodies close. "It'll just be for a little while."

She didn't offer an answer, but Lee felt her shift just a little bit closer into his side.

---- ----

Aurora was not starved for attention on Galactica. Aside from her doting parents and grandfather, she had the president of the colonies wrapped around her tiny fingers, as well as most of the knuckledraggers, pilots and auxiliary staff. Helo and Sharon were frequent babysitters and Aurora adored Karl. It didn't surprise her as he'd always been one of Kara's most trusted friends.

Even Dualla was sweet on the child and while Kara had initially been unnerved by the other woman's presence, she had gradually come to accept that Ana wasn't making a play for Lee. She was simply enjoying her time around a small, happy child. Because Aurora was hope—hope for the future they were fighting so hard to preserve and Kara knew hope was often the most precious commodity.

Aurora had been passed back to Kara now. The longer the night wore on, the more fussy she became and even Helo couldn't manage to calm her. Kara had no trouble. With cake marring her chubby cheeks, Aurora had quickly dropped her head to Kara's shoulder. While rubbing her back gently and humming softly, she had quickly fallen asleep and Kara was tempted to join her.

She caught sight of Lee through sleepy eyes across the room. He was talking to his father, but thankfully, there was a smile on his face, indicating that the Old Man had managed to leave any military business at the door. She was glad to see Lee relaxing, glad to see him smiling and laughing. They had their light-hearted moments of course, but she knew that both of them laughed far less than they used to. They did a lot of things far less than they used to, she supposed.

Like teasing one another, joking, even fighting. Kara missed it. She missed the comfort, the familiarity of being with someone who knew you so well, that they could yell and scream at one another and still be okay a few hours later. She missed kidding Lee about his fastidiousness and him teasing her about her hygiene.

She missed them.

With a sigh, Kara blinked tears back quickly. It was her fault, this odd, strained limbo they were in. She was still broken, even after months on board, even after healing. She was fragile and Lee knew it. She could tell every time he looked at her, every time he came home and caught her staring at nothing or she snapped at him for something trivial.

Every time they made love, she could feel it. He treated her like glass, like a china doll that sat too close to the edge of a wobbly shelf. The sex was great, but there were times when Kara wanted him to be more like himself, more like the man who couldn't keep his hands off her. But he wouldn't. He didn't initiate anything, didn't even make an attempt if he didn't first ask permission.

Kara hated that she had reduced him—them—to this. To walking on eggshells and being careful. To hiding the more natural parts of themselves. That wasn't what a relationship was about, right? Kara feared if things stayed this way for too long, they might not make it. She feared that in trying to support her, Lee might fall out of love with her. He'd always love her as a friend, sure, but the passion—hot, fiery and maybe a little unhealthy—that had been the bedrock for their relationship before New Caprica appeared gone now. Kara worried what might happen if it never returned.

"Cubit for your thoughts?"

Kara blinked back another set of traitorous tears and glanced to the side, offering Helo a small grin. "I doubt they're worth anything, let alone a cubit."

"Yeah, well, money's useless now anyway." Helo returned her smile and then allowed his eyes to fall to Aurora, who was still sleeping contentedly against her mother's chest. "Now, see? How come she wouldn't do that for me?"

She smiled wide this time. "She likes me better."

Her friend chuckled softly and then let his eyes scan the room before coming back to Kara. "So, what's up?"

Kara shrugged, resting her cheek lightly on top of Aurora's blonde curls. Her hair was still baby soft and Kara relished the feel of it against her cheek.

"Kara."

She knew that tone and she also knew it was going to be difficult to ignore him. Counting to five, she raised her eyes to his face in answer and he asked again, "What's up?"

"Nothing, Helo, okay? I'm just a little worn out."

"Yeah, right." Helo pulled his chair a bit closer. He had straddled it, so he rested his arms against the back, bringing their faces basically eye level. "Come on, Thrace. This is me you're talking to. Let's not pretend I'm going to fall for any of your usual subversive bullshit, okay? I get tired too you know."

She knew he meant it all as a joke, but Kara felt more tears sting her eyes. She ducked her head before he could see, but even that gesture caused more concern. "Hey, Kara, come on. That was just a little tough love. I didn't mean it."

His hand rested lightly on her shoulder, giving it a soft squeeze and Kara took a deep breath before again feeling composed enough to look at him. "I know, and I appreciate it, really. I just …"

She bit her lower lip, worried that if she put her fears into words they might come true. Her eyes roamed the room, finding Lee again, glad to see him now in a deep discussion with the president. It seemed the two of them had found more than a little common ground since the exodus and Kara knew Roslin's confidence meant a lot to Lee.

"What if I'm always like this?" she finally rasped, eyes back on Karl's. His brow furrowed in confusion, Kara elaborated. "What if I never get back to myself? I mean, staying in quarters for days on end, not taking meals in the mess—who does that? What if Lee—"

No. She couldn't say it out loud. She just couldn't. She focused her attentions back on Aurora, although the little girl had barely moved from her comfortable position.

"Kara. What about Lee? What's wrong?"

Kara wasn't sure how Helo had become the truest friend she had, but she could never have traded him for even the finest Caprican cigars. Except for maybe right now. "It's nothing, Helo, okay? Just leave it alone."

"Kara."

She knew he wasn't going to let up, so she was left with only one option. Shifting Aurora in her arms, she passed her to Helo before he could protest and then rose, heading swiftly for the hatch. She didn't bother to see if Lee had caught sight of her, she just kept walking. "I need some air," she threw over her shoulder to no one in particular as she reached the hatch, pushed it open and walked hurriedly down the deserted corridor.

---- ----

Lee saw Kara leave and was half out of his chair by the time she'd taken a step over the threshold. However, considering Kara's moods of late, he though that maybe a quick check with Helo on her mood might be the best first course of action.

As soon as he caught Lee's eye, Helo told him, "I swear, I didn't do anything."

Lee smiled tightly. "I know that, Karl. But something happened."

Helo's gaze traveled the path Kara had taken a minute before and then fell back to Lee. "She's worried she's never going to snap out of this. She's worried she's going to be timid forever."

Lee frowned. He had considered the possibility for maybe a second; Kara Thrace was many things, but she was not timid. "It's just a rough patch, Helo. I know Kara's going to come around."

"But she doesn't." Helo stood, Aurora still tucked safely in the crook of his elbow. "I'd go remind her a little bit of the Starbuck she used to be."

"I don't want to push." And that was the heart of it. Kara had gone through hell, the last thing Lee would do was dictate the pace at which she'd recover. "I know she'll see herself through it."

Helo shook his head. "I don't think so, Apollo. I think she might need a little nudge in the right direction. I think she needs to remember who she was before New Caprica. And I think she needs you to remind her."

Lee digested that, wondering just how exactly that conversation would go. Was it even a conversation? Or was it action? Did Lee need to get her in a viper? Have her play a few hands of Triad with the other pilots? Spar with her in the gym? He didn't know. And his fear of doing the wrong thing was almost worse than his fear of doing anything.

"Don't over think it, Apollo." Helo's hand on his shoulder was heavy. "Just go. It's Kara, man, and I'm pretty much convinced that no one knows her better than you."

He wasn't sure he shared Helo's confidence. Glancing to his daughter, he asked, "Can you—"

"Yeah, Sharon and I got her, 'til morning. Just go find Kara."

Lee grinned at his friend and clapped him on the shoulder. "You know, one of these days you're going to have to stop bailing Starbuck and I out."

"Blasphemy," Helo teased, his grin wide and reaching his eyes. "I'm pretty sure this is what friends do, man. I'm just holding up my end of the deal."

Lee gave him a quick nod and then turned to find his father staring at him from across the room. Giving another nod to his dad, he headed out the hatch and went in search of Kara.

---- ----

She couldn't go back to quarters. She'd spent so long in that frakking room she could identify every dent, paint chip and rivet.

So, instead, she'd just walked and somehow she'd ended up here, in the pilot's ready room staring at the board. She knew maybe a third of the callsigns and it reminded her again of how much everyone had suffered at New Caprica. Not just her—it wasn't just about her.

She circled the room, standing behind the podium, staring at the empty seats. There were maybe a handful of places Kara had ever felt she belonged and sitting out there, getting briefed or heckling Lee, was one of them.

But she wasn't so sure anymore. She'd briefly considered heading to the hangar deck, checking out her plane, but she just couldn't bring herself to do it. The doc had cleared her for flight about two months ago, but Kara had never once asked to be reinstated. Lee had never pushed either and she wasn't sure if she was relieved or annoyed.

Kara supposed she could blame her reticence on Aurora; she didn't want to fly because something might happen and then Aurora would be motherless. She knew it was a pretty weak excuse though and not even close to the real one. She wasn't flying because she was afraid. It felt like a lifetime ago that she had sat in a cockpit and fired at toasters. It felt like another life, another person and Kara wasn't sure she could muster the same reckless, fearless attitude that would keep in her alive in the cockpit.

"Hey now, you're in my spot."

She glanced up sharply at the sound of Lee's voice, catching sight of him from where he leaned against the wall, arms crossed over his chest. She knew he'd been watching her, but she had no idea how long.

Stepping back from the podium, she gestured toward it with a flourish. "By all means, Captain. I wouldn't want to be accused of assuming rank."

Lee smiled tightly at her remark and that's when Kara knew he was here to talk about something serious. Of course, when wasn't he? Wasn't it always serious now between them?

He stood before her, blue eyes studying hers intently. "Are you okay? You left kind of fast."

She shrugged and skirted around him, taking a seat in the front row. "Yeah, sure. Just a little tired, you know."

He didn't respond and Kara wouldn't look up. She didn't know if she could take one more look of pity from Lee. One more look of "I don't want to break you, so I'm not going to challenge you." What was their relationship without a little bit of challenge?

"Look, Kara—"

"You know what, Lee? Can we _not_ do this?" She risked a glance to him and almost giggled at the completely flabbergasted look on his face. His mouth hung open for a full ten seconds before he snapped it shut.

"Uh, yeah. I guess." He crossed the room and sat beside her, the armrests keeping them at a distance. "Just out of curiosity, what did you think _this_ was?"

Kara sighed and let her head drop back against the seat. "I don't know. Another somber conversation about how 'things will be fine' and 'we'll see our way through this' and 'it's okay if I'm not quite back to my old self.' 'We'll weather the storm'."

She'd memorized all his platitudes. Sliding her eyes to the left, she saw that he had a slightly bemused expression on his features and it made her sit up and demand, "What's so funny?"

Lee shook his head and admitted, "Nothing, I'm just pretty sure that's the most Starbuck thing you've said to me in over a year."

When he turned to catch her eyes, he was grinning and she started laughing a split second before he did. As their laughter filled the room, Kara clutched her stomach, unable to remember a time when she had laughed this hard.

Struggling to catch her breath, she wiped tears from her eyes and caught Lee doing the same thing. "Gods, that felt good."

"It did, didn't it?" He turned to face her fully and reached across the small space between them. "I've missed you, Kara."

Her heart soared as he vocalized her own thoughts. "Gods, Lee. I've missed you, I've missed us."

His brow furrowed and Kara continued, standing to pace in front of him. "I mean, my Gods, we're so careful around each other lately. That's not us. I don't want you to … I don't want you to treat me like I'm made of glass, Lee."

She looked to him, noticing that his mouth was already open to protest, but she silenced him by adding, "You do it, Lee, whether it's conscious or not. I'm not gonna break."

His eyes narrowed as he stared at her and for the first time in a while, she didn't flinch under his gaze. After a moment, he rose and approached her, cradling her cheeks in his hands, his eyes still intent on hers. "Kara, for a while there, it looked like you might. I don't—"

She didn't need to hear the rest of what he had to say. She knew it would be sweet and perfect and utterly adorable, but she didn't want him to continue treating her with kid gloves. So instead, she kissed him. Hard.

He froze for a second under her mouth and then Kara felt him come alive. His hands slid around to the back of her neck, drawing her closer and he opened his mouth under hers, his tongue sliding deliciously along the seam of her lips before Kara opened her mouth and thrust her tongue into his.

It was the most passionate kiss they'd shared since she'd returned from the surface. It was so "them" she almost wanted to cry. But Kara refused to do that. She was stronger than that, stronger than anything Leoben had put her through and she was safe now, with Lee, on Galactica. Those were the things she needed to remember day in and day out. Not nightmares of her captivity.

Lee's hands tangled in her hair, tilting her head back slightly so he could more readily devour her mouth. Kara moaned against him, pulling her body flush to his and feeling his arousal press hard against her thigh. It was Lee's turn to groan and he broke away suddenly, panting, his forehead resting against hers.

"Kara, are you—"

"Lee Adama, if you ask me if I'm sure I want to frak you, I swear to the Gods I'll see to it that Aurora is your only child."

Lee's eyes locked with hers and she watched a slow grin slide across his face. "There's my Starbuck," he murmured as his lips descended on hers once again.

Oh hell yeah. She was back.

---- ----


End file.
